Aa
Confirmed Exposure
Hi
I stumbled across your site and have been scouring posts and comments all day. I have made a horrible mistake that may have ruined my life and I am only 26. Almost 3 weeks ago after a night out I ran across a former co worker. We went to my car and she performed oral sex on me for 5 mins until I ejaculated. I felt really bad because I am married and have never done anything like this. 3 days ago I got an email asking me to call her. She told me that she had just tested positive for HIV and was devastated. She said she was infected by her boyfriend who is an IV drug user. She had no idea that he was and had no idea she was infected until he told her to go get tested. She also said that her viral load was 1500 or something like. I am assuming that she was very very infectious the night we met. Needless to say I am very afraid. I have developed what I think are lymph nodes under my arms and have had a slight fever. I was also on an antibiotic and a steriod inhaler for a bad sinus infection at the time of the enounter. I have read hundreds and hundreds of post on here and have seen things that make me a little hopeful and some that dont. I have seen one doctor say to someone recently in a similiar type situation that he should not worry about oral sex with an HIV positive person and did not even recommend testing. Then I see another post where a different doctor says its a low risk and does recommend testing. I am not sure why there is a differing of opinion which only makes people confused and scared. So I have a number of questions and would appreciate any help/advice that someone can give me.
1) Am I at risk for HIV?
2) Are my symptoms related to HIV? When do symptoms start? Some docs say 4 weeks and some say 10-15 days
3) Should I get tested? If so, when and what type?
4) Was the medication I was on make any difference for my risk?
4) Is saliva really not infectious like some sites state?
5) Should I not have sex with my wife?
Thanks
I stumbled across your site and have been scouring posts and comments all day. I have made a horrible mistake that may have ruined my life and I am only 26. Almost 3 weeks ago after a night out I ran across a former co worker. We went to my car and she performed oral sex on me for 5 mins until I ejaculated. I felt really bad because I am married and have never done anything like this. 3 days ago I got an email asking me to call her. She told me that she had just tested positive for HIV and was devastated. She said she was infected by her boyfriend who is an IV drug user. She had no idea that he was and had no idea she was infected until he told her to go get tested. She also said that her viral load was 1500 or something like. I am assuming that she was very very infectious the night we met. Needless to say I am very afraid. I have developed what I think are lymph nodes under my arms and have had a slight fever. I was also on an antibiotic and a steriod inhaler for a bad sinus infection at the time of the enounter. I have read hundreds and hundreds of post on here and have seen things that make me a little hopeful and some that dont. I have seen one doctor say to someone recently in a similiar type situation that he should not worry about oral sex with an HIV positive person and did not even recommend testing. Then I see another post where a different doctor says its a low risk and does recommend testing. I am not sure why there is a differing of opinion which only makes people confused and scared. So I have a number of questions and would appreciate any help/advice that someone can give me.
1) Am I at risk for HIV?
2) Are my symptoms related to HIV? When do symptoms start? Some docs say 4 weeks and some say 10-15 days
3) Should I get tested? If so, when and what type?
4) Was the medication I was on make any difference for my risk?
4) Is saliva really not infectious like some sites state?
5) Should I not have sex with my wife?
Thanks
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
HIV viral loads don't change that rapidly. If her VL was only 1500 when first tested, probably it wasn't much different 3 weeks earlier. Most likely she has been unknowingly infected for a long time (months or years) and her immune system is partly controlling it.
Your antibiotic and steroid inhaler make no difference. No medications make HIV infection more likely nor have any effect on HIV test reliability.
Your antibiotic and steroid inhaler make no difference. No medications make HIV infection more likely nor have any effect on HIV test reliability.
Thank you for your quick response. I was hoping that I would hear zero risk and nothing to worry about but knew that was not realistic. So if she was wrong on the viral load number and it was much higher does my risk rise? Also the question about the medicine I was on at the time and for 2 weeks after, did it have any impact? Thanks
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.
I understand how alarming it can be to learn that a partner is infected with HIV. Hoever, you are at little or no risk from the exposure described. As you have learned on this forum an elsewhere, oral sex rarely transmits HIV, especially oral to genital. Second, a viral load of 1500 is quite low and rarely would result in transmission, even by vaginal or anal sex. Viral loads that would be more risky are much higher, typically over 100,000 and often over a million.
As for apparently differing advice on this forum, you need to pay close attention to the specific question and situation. Even when there is no risk, often we recommend testing because the negative result will be more reassuring than advice based on probability, statistics, and our professional opinion. In other words, testing often is recommended even when there is little or no risk.
To your specific questions:
1) You at extremely low risk, perhaps zero, from this exposure.
2) Your symptoms are not typical for a new HIV infection. Symptoms usually begin 10-14 days after exposure.
3) As implied above, from a medical/risk standpoint, I would not recommend testing on account of this exposure. However, you might like the reassurance of a negative HIV test. If so, by all means do it. With a "duo" or "combo" test (for both HIV antibody and p24 antigen), you can have a reliable result anytime 4 or more weeks after the event. For a standalone anybody test, 6-8 weeks. I recommend you see a doctor or clinic for an in-person evaluation and testing recommendations.
4) Saliva is toxic to HIV and kills the virus. This probably is one of the main reasons oral sex and kissing carry little risk for transmission.
5) Nobody can say the chance you are infected and the risk to your wife are zero. However, they are extremely low. Speaking personally, if somehow I were in your situation, I would continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry. But I'm not you, and you will have to make your own decision. For sure once you have had a negative test, you should continue normal relations with your wife and not worry further.
I hope these comments have been helpful. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
I understand how alarming it can be to learn that a partner is infected with HIV. Hoever, you are at little or no risk from the exposure described. As you have learned on this forum an elsewhere, oral sex rarely transmits HIV, especially oral to genital. Second, a viral load of 1500 is quite low and rarely would result in transmission, even by vaginal or anal sex. Viral loads that would be more risky are much higher, typically over 100,000 and often over a million.
As for apparently differing advice on this forum, you need to pay close attention to the specific question and situation. Even when there is no risk, often we recommend testing because the negative result will be more reassuring than advice based on probability, statistics, and our professional opinion. In other words, testing often is recommended even when there is little or no risk.
To your specific questions:
1) You at extremely low risk, perhaps zero, from this exposure.
2) Your symptoms are not typical for a new HIV infection. Symptoms usually begin 10-14 days after exposure.
3) As implied above, from a medical/risk standpoint, I would not recommend testing on account of this exposure. However, you might like the reassurance of a negative HIV test. If so, by all means do it. With a "duo" or "combo" test (for both HIV antibody and p24 antigen), you can have a reliable result anytime 4 or more weeks after the event. For a standalone anybody test, 6-8 weeks. I recommend you see a doctor or clinic for an in-person evaluation and testing recommendations.
4) Saliva is toxic to HIV and kills the virus. This probably is one of the main reasons oral sex and kissing carry little risk for transmission.
5) Nobody can say the chance you are infected and the risk to your wife are zero. However, they are extremely low. Speaking personally, if somehow I were in your situation, I would continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry. But I'm not you, and you will have to make your own decision. For sure once you have had a negative test, you should continue normal relations with your wife and not worry further.
I hope these comments have been helpful. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
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