Aa
unprotected sex with male of unknown status / scared
Hi Doctor,
I've been debating asking a question on here for a while. In november 09 i began having sexual relations with a man I was dating. In feb I had (what I didn't know at the time) was my first outbreak of hsv-2. The begining of february 10 is the last time this man and I had any sex. I was diagnosed in march with hsv2 and took a Home Access HIV test at the very end of march which came back negative. Recently I found out this man also gave me chlamydia which sent me reeling because I thought I had gotten on with my life so this put the fear back in my mind that I have HIV. I bought another Home Access HIV test and took it around Aug. 24th which would put me at the 6 month mark. It was negative. I felt relief but kep thinking "I could be one that takes up to a year for it to show...." I do have heart disease but am not on any meds and am basically healthy. So I made an appointment at my doctors and saw a nurse practitioner who left me more scared/worried/paranoid when she told me to get retested in 6 months. Many people in the regular forum have told me 3 months is conclusive and at 6 I am fine and have pretty much gotten annoyed with me. Can I stop worrying? I've met a wonderful man and just want to get on with my life but don't want to put him at risk. Are the home access tests sensitive enough? I know they are FDA approved but I am still worried. Thank you for your help.
I've been debating asking a question on here for a while. In november 09 i began having sexual relations with a man I was dating. In feb I had (what I didn't know at the time) was my first outbreak of hsv-2. The begining of february 10 is the last time this man and I had any sex. I was diagnosed in march with hsv2 and took a Home Access HIV test at the very end of march which came back negative. Recently I found out this man also gave me chlamydia which sent me reeling because I thought I had gotten on with my life so this put the fear back in my mind that I have HIV. I bought another Home Access HIV test and took it around Aug. 24th which would put me at the 6 month mark. It was negative. I felt relief but kep thinking "I could be one that takes up to a year for it to show...." I do have heart disease but am not on any meds and am basically healthy. So I made an appointment at my doctors and saw a nurse practitioner who left me more scared/worried/paranoid when she told me to get retested in 6 months. Many people in the regular forum have told me 3 months is conclusive and at 6 I am fine and have pretty much gotten annoyed with me. Can I stop worrying? I've met a wonderful man and just want to get on with my life but don't want to put him at risk. Are the home access tests sensitive enough? I know they are FDA approved but I am still worried. Thank you for your help.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
That your partner is a jerk, and that he apparently gave you HSV-2, does not mean he has HIV. But the level of risk during that relationship is irrelevant anyway. You could have had the highest risk imaginable; the test results rule. My advice would be the same even if you were to learn he actually had HIV. Whether or not he had it, you didn't catch it.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
You have asked multiple questions on the HIV community forum, with consistent responses; it isn't surprising they "have pretty much gotten annoyed" with you given your repeated requests for confirmation of the same information.
As you were told, with the standard HIV tests in regular use today, almost all infected people have positive results at 6 weeks, and after the relatively low risk scenario you describe there really was no need for testing beyon that time. And it is impossible to have HIV and have a negative test at 3 months. This includes the test used by Home Access. The 6 month window is outmoded, applicable only to older tests that haven't been used for over a decade. That your NP takes an unnecessarily conservative stance makes no difference.
On top of all that, if your partner was not at obvious high risk for HIV -- i.e. if you're in the US, he hasn't been incarcerated, doesn't use IV drugs, isn't bisexual -- then the chance he has HIV is probably under 1 in 1,000.
You can indeed stop worrying, and you can safely begin a new sexual relationship without putting your partner at risk. You cannot transmit a virus that you don't have. Of course your new HSV-2 is a different story; you're going to have to discuss that with your potential partner and probably take steps to prevent transmission.
Really, HIV should not be on your mind at all at this point. Stop searching the internet; when people are anxious, as you obviously are, they are naturally drawn to the information that reinforces their fears and tend to not see (or believe) the more reassuring information. Please accept that you don't have HIV.
Best wishes in your new relationship-- HHH, MD
You have asked multiple questions on the HIV community forum, with consistent responses; it isn't surprising they "have pretty much gotten annoyed" with you given your repeated requests for confirmation of the same information.
As you were told, with the standard HIV tests in regular use today, almost all infected people have positive results at 6 weeks, and after the relatively low risk scenario you describe there really was no need for testing beyon that time. And it is impossible to have HIV and have a negative test at 3 months. This includes the test used by Home Access. The 6 month window is outmoded, applicable only to older tests that haven't been used for over a decade. That your NP takes an unnecessarily conservative stance makes no difference.
On top of all that, if your partner was not at obvious high risk for HIV -- i.e. if you're in the US, he hasn't been incarcerated, doesn't use IV drugs, isn't bisexual -- then the chance he has HIV is probably under 1 in 1,000.
You can indeed stop worrying, and you can safely begin a new sexual relationship without putting your partner at risk. You cannot transmit a virus that you don't have. Of course your new HSV-2 is a different story; you're going to have to discuss that with your potential partner and probably take steps to prevent transmission.
Really, HIV should not be on your mind at all at this point. Stop searching the internet; when people are anxious, as you obviously are, they are naturally drawn to the information that reinforces their fears and tend to not see (or believe) the more reassuring information. Please accept that you don't have HIV.
Best wishes in your new relationship-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Thanks for the thanks. Take care.
Thank you so much. He has been incarcerated in the past (i know how to pick em..) but he is straight, american, and not an IV drug user..I do know that..but like you said..even with the highest risk..so I will not ask another question to be "annoying" I will just thank you and be very appreciative that you have put my mind finally at ease....my friends would thank you as well :)
I failed to mention another thing that made me SO paranoid was that he had sent me a picture of std testing papers from his phone after I accused him of infecting me. Turns out they were fraud as they had a website at the bottom for the arizona department of health. We are in PA. I googled the form and anyone can access it and type in anything they want to have or not have....and pass it off as their own test results.
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