have a few questions

[george123449]

Dear Dr. So here is my story. I am a 31 year old male from new york(westchester county). I have drien myself to the brink of a nervous breakdown. I have been with the same girl for over 8 years and both have been faithful. We have had unprotected sex and  a couple of times anal with ejaculation for all of that time. She recently had a full work up for all stds and hiv all negative. Before my wife I had sex a couple of times with csws protected with no breakage.  In 2004 I had a rash on my chest and a little on my back. No other symptoms nor did I feel sick. The rash did not have pimples which I see is common with ars rash. So now to my questions. If I had hiv for this much time would I have had problems or illnesses which would have led to diagnosis and if so what. Second question is it realistic that she could have not been infected over that whole time. Third what would one with hiv for so long show in the way of symptoms thank you in advance. .

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Please be patient.  The site is not manned 24/7.  We answer questions more quickly than virtually any other site.

If you had been infected and had HIV (as I said, unlikely) your wife may or may not have become infected.  Infection is a chance event.  I would urge you not to spend time worrying about the "what ifs" but to go and get tested and then believe your test results which I am confident will be negative. EWH

[george123449]

Dear Doctor,
    Are you there? I was waiting for my final answer . thanks again.

[george123449]

I will go for the test. I had one other question. I know you stated the risk for me but what about the fact that I have been having unprotected sex with my wife for 8 years. This inlcudes ejaculation. It also included a couple of occasions o anal sex. This will be my last question and thank you for all of your answers. Oh and also I have seen responses from dr handsfield where he has said there is no realistic chance of having hiv for over 7 years and not know it. He has said that people would have various problems which lead to diagnosis

[Edward W Hook, MD]

If the condom had broken and if the CSW had HIV your risk for infection is less than 1 in 1000 -very low.  The progress of HIV when people have infection can be very slow, taking longer thatn 10 years in some instances without folks being ill or aware of their infection.  Similarly transmission is a chance event so while I cannot be 100% sure you do not have infection, the odds are very, very low that you have HIV.  As I said before, if you are worried, and you clearly are, why not just go get tested and put it behind you.  This can be done with confidentiality at your local health department. EWH

[george123449]

Dear Doctor,
    Yes she was the same and now wife. Her tests did include hiv. This was due to us trying to start a family and was a normal part of the obgyn exam. And  am pretty sure that my csw encounters did not have a break in the condom. If there was what are the odds of transmission. I am certain it did not happen. And my question was that if I had hiv for 8 years and have had 8 years of unprotected sex vaginal and anal with my wife I would assume her chances of getting it would be pretty good. And last is it likely that I could have hiv for that long and not know it. I would imagine over that long of a period I would know by now. Is that safe to say

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum.  I will try to help.  You seem to change terms over the course of your question (from "same girl" to "wife") so I want to make sure- you indicate that you have had the same partner for over 8 years and before that you had several condom protected encounters with CSWs.  In addition, your wife has recently been checked for STDs (which I presume includes HIV).

If my summary is correct, you have almost nothing to worry about.  Your CSW encounters were condom protected and condom protected sex is safe sex with no meaningful risk for HIV.   Further, if your wife does not have HIV, should could not have given it to you either.  Thus, when we consider things as stated above, there is no risk for HIV.

If you continue to worry about HIV however, the problem can easily be taken care of with the test. The results will be definitive at this time and are almost certain to be negative.

I hope this comment is helpful. EWH