Extremely stressed !!

[worriedwell29]

I had a brief unprotected vaginal sexual encounter with a man I met a bar on Feb24, 2012. II would normally use a condom but I was very drunk. I asked him if he had any diseases and he stated he had been in a monogamous marriage up until about a year ago and was currently getting divorced but one night stands were not a common thing for him . He also stated he often gave blood and had routine physicals because he was an active fireman. He stated the last donation for blood he gave was in Nov of 2011 and had blood work done last month, but Im not sure if he had an hiv test during those donations and tests. I might mention I have been monogamously married for almost 7 years and I realize I can't get an accurate test till at least 6- 8 weeks.
However, I recently became ill with bad fatigue, and sore throat with mild cough and congestion. My kids are both sick with a cold, so I am not sure if this would be ARS or a cold, it started 7 days after the encounter. I also had some vaginal irritation after the encounter, but I went to my local doctor and took medication for clamydia, gonherrea , and trich just in case. I told my husband about the encounter but yesterday he still insisted on having unprotected sex. My question is what is my risk, are my symptoms HIV related? What is my husbands risk? and how do I ease my mind before I can recieve an accurate test. How prevalent is HIV in hetero couple? How easy is it to contract?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Yes, there are many types of every day, community acquired viral infections that can explain your symptoms.  EWH

[worriedwell29]

One more question , so you think my symptoms are strictly cold related ??? Does a bold make you feel like crap?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

I would say that your risk is low, not high- mathematically less than 1 in a million.

Infection, if your partner had HIV, is more likely with ejaculation but is theoretically also possible without ejaculation.  Precisely how much ejaculation contributes to risk for infection is unknown.  

The best time to test fro your peace of mind is at 8 weeks following exposure.  When you test, I am confident your test will be negative. EWH

[worriedwell29]

Thanks , that actually made me feel
Better... I guess from all of the awareness and hearing of rising HIV infections , I assume my risk is high. Does ejaculation change the risk because he did not! I suppose the virus is harder to catch than I assume , when is the best time to test for piece of mind?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum.  I'll be please to provide some facts that I hope will reassure you.  This was a low risk encounter.

Few heterosexual men or women have HIV- fewer than 1 in 1000 men and fewer than one in 10,000 women.  Your partner is still less likely to have HIV if he has recently donated blood- all donated blood is tested for HIV and the probability of him acquiring HIV in the few months since his last blood donation is quite low.  Finally, even in the very unlikely circumstance that he has HIV, HIV is transmitted on average only once in every 1000 unprotected sexual encounters.  

As for your recent illness- this is almost certainly not HIV.  HIV does not cause symptoms in recently infected persons until at least two weeks have passed since exposure and the fact that your daughter has a similar illness suggests this is the sort of viral illness that parents and their kids get from time to time.

I would not worry about HIV related to this encounter.  I hope my comments are calming.  EWH

[worriedwell29]

I would like to add I am a woman not a man and the encounter was in the car lasting about 2 minutes with no ejaculation.