unprotected vaginal sex

[iwasdumb]

Hi this question is for DR HHH.I a very very dumb thing 2 weeks ago doctor.I met a girl from the Internet who I didn't know at all we had a few drinks one thing lead to another and we ended up having unprotected vaginal sex dumb I know I had a condom and like a moron I didn't use it ugh I'm so mad .I never saw her again just talked to her.she did oral on me also I did not do oral to her.The sex lasted about a half hour maybe 20 min I'm not sure i washed my penis off after with cold water only no soap would that help at all?.She told me she has her tubes tied and also she's a diabetic and takes pills daily for it.she also says she gets her blood checked at a local hospital every 4 months or 6 months I don't remember, to check her diabetes I'm guessing that's a lie cause she's knows I'm upset I think she's making things up but I hope not .If they do check her would anything show up on a diabetes test if she did have hiv? and i hope she doesnt!she told me she doesn't have hiv I asked her 2 times .she says she gets tested every 6 months for hiv but im sure thats a lie because its now 3 months or less?not six months I really think shes just saying that so I wont keep asking her and what would her test matter anyway since shes having unprotected sex outside her marriage.And i cant wait 6 months for an answer how sooon is the soonest i cant test?how do i find a place that uses the rapid ora quick tests?I also saw tests on the internet from japan saying there 99 percent accuracy are these at home test any good?home access test anygood?.I also think its odd she's not worried about me even though I know I was neg before I met her but she didn't know.she is also a married woman and I never should of touched her as she smokes marihuana and told me she has 2 boy friends on the side besides her husband now im scared to death.I took 7 hiv test 2 years and and was negative and now I have to do it all over again and wait and im really scared and going crazy.how soon can I test its only been a little over two weeks?I was told she meets guys all the time and im sure she never uses condoms cause her tubes are tied dumb I know.Im really really upset its all I think about all day and night I cant get it out of my head .I called her on the phone and she's high on pot and says again she doesn't have anything but how does she really know if she's never been tested?I'm a straight male and I think she might by bi she talked about kissing women and touching boobs ...what are my risks?How soon do symptoms start?I have had diarrhea for the past week im so upset im having trouble eating to.this is pure mental hell to me its all i think about all day long and I wish I never met her now .please please please answer asap doc I will be looking for your answer...thank you so much

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Only a brief response to your long question, which has obvious, common-sense answers:  You describe someone who gives a reassuring story about not having HIV.  I cannot tell whether she was lying or not, but even if she was--that is if she had HIV--the chance of getting it from a single episode of unprotected sex averates 1 in 2,000.  That means you could have sex with an HIV infected woman every day and not expect to get HIV yourself for 5 years.

You don't need to wait 6 months for reliable HIV testing.  6 weeks is plenty of time.  Your questions about symptoms don't matter:  symptoms never are a reliable indicator of new HIV infection, and lack of symptoms doesn't mean you weren't infected either.  Just have a test 6 weeks after the event, and don't worry about it in the meantime.  (I actually don't recommend testing at all, except that you obviously need it for anxiety relief.  The situation itself wasn't high enough risk to need testing.)

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

As always, thanks for your support.  But no need to carry on.  He is going to get a warning, after which further inapprorpiate comments will indeed get him banned from participation on any MedHelp forum.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

I deleted your comment.  This forum is limtied to civil discourse without personal attacks, whether on me or any other forum user.  One more such post will get you banned from all future comments on the MedHelp forums.

But for more on the topic of the more reasonable elements of you message, take a look at my comment today in another thread:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/hiv/messages/1026.html

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Username "notdumb" has been inappropriately appending comments that were inappropriate both in content and because they were jumping your thread. I have been deleting his comments, which makes some of the remaining ones seem out of place.

In response to your follow-up question, the definition of "high risk" and "low risk" sexual practices is not hard and fast. If your partner had HIV infection, the statistical risk you caught HIV would have been 1 chance in 2,000. That's high risk by some standards; it is high enough to make HIV a heterosexually transmitted epidemic in some populations. Still, it means that the chance of catching HIV was pretty low. Further, my original reply was based not just on the risk of the sexual event itself, but also on the likelihood your partner was infected. Since that risk was low, your overall risk was miniscule.

I deleted the comments by "notdumb" not only because s/he disagreed with this sort of advice (s/he seems to believe that sexual safety messages should be all or none, rather than truthfully based on people's actual risks) but because s/he made those charges in an offensive, personal fashion, and without respect for scientific evidence.

Thanks for your understanding. Sorry for any confusion.

HHH, MD

[iwasdumb]

im not sure what you guys are doing but this was my question.thanks again doctor for your time.

[iwasdumb]

i agree i do need to test for anxiety relief...if unprotected vaginal isnt a high risk and im not sure exactly why?can you tell me what is so i can always remember?thanks dr hhh for your time.