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Chafing/HIV Risk
Morning,
This site is wonderful. I did review other postings and I still felt my question was relevant, I hope you agree. I will preface this by stating I test for HIV twice per year and have never placed myself in this situation before. I tested negative in November 06. I have not been placed at risk since that time or even before. I am a gay male. Several days ago I stupidly had a one night stand with someone of unknown status. It started out safe (with condom and alot of lube) and was a rather lengthy session. I was the insertive male. No other sexual activity occured. At some point the rubber came off, however, I dont know if it went inside him totally while I continued to top or if it slipped off of my penis when I pulled out. I know when I pulled out I didn't "notice" any blood on my penis or anywhere else, also, I didn't seem to notice any other "residue" from him on me anywhere just prior to showering. The next morning there was minor chafing at the base up to about a third of my penis and slightly on the right side of my testicles. My question: Assuming this guy was HIV+, have I placed myself at an extremely high HIV risk due to probably topping without a condom and the chaffing? I will be getting tested for all other STD's either if symptoms occur or after an appropriate time lapses. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post.
This site is wonderful. I did review other postings and I still felt my question was relevant, I hope you agree. I will preface this by stating I test for HIV twice per year and have never placed myself in this situation before. I tested negative in November 06. I have not been placed at risk since that time or even before. I am a gay male. Several days ago I stupidly had a one night stand with someone of unknown status. It started out safe (with condom and alot of lube) and was a rather lengthy session. I was the insertive male. No other sexual activity occured. At some point the rubber came off, however, I dont know if it went inside him totally while I continued to top or if it slipped off of my penis when I pulled out. I know when I pulled out I didn't "notice" any blood on my penis or anywhere else, also, I didn't seem to notice any other "residue" from him on me anywhere just prior to showering. The next morning there was minor chafing at the base up to about a third of my penis and slightly on the right side of my testicles. My question: Assuming this guy was HIV+, have I placed myself at an extremely high HIV risk due to probably topping without a condom and the chaffing? I will be getting tested for all other STD's either if symptoms occur or after an appropriate time lapses. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post.
Hello,
I wanted to tell you and anyone that read this that I went for my STD full screen today and everything on that aspect was negative. This is 22 days (almost four weeks) after intercourse. Also, I went ahead and had a RAPID test done with the finger *****, it too came out negative. I know it is a tad early but since I was there I thought it couldn't hurt to get it done. I will of course follow up.
I wanted to tell you and anyone that read this that I went for my STD full screen today and everything on that aspect was negative. This is 22 days (almost four weeks) after intercourse. Also, I went ahead and had a RAPID test done with the finger *****, it too came out negative. I know it is a tad early but since I was there I thought it couldn't hurt to get it done. I will of course follow up.
Thank you for posting that follow-up comment, and congratulations for following up with your partner.
Through embarrassment or fear of condemnation, most people, gay or straight, are uncomfortable contacting the other person in such situations. When they do, the experience is usually like yours: the other person was just as frightened and truly appreciates the opportunity to talk it through. I am aware of situations in which people became close friends, and at least one case that blossomed into a long-term partnership.
I hope others will take a lesson from your experiences, both the parts you now regret and those that worked out OK.
Through embarrassment or fear of condemnation, most people, gay or straight, are uncomfortable contacting the other person in such situations. When they do, the experience is usually like yours: the other person was just as frightened and truly appreciates the opportunity to talk it through. I am aware of situations in which people became close friends, and at least one case that blossomed into a long-term partnership.
I hope others will take a lesson from your experiences, both the parts you now regret and those that worked out OK.
I was able to get in touch with the individual I was with that evening. He stated he tested negative in January, and I explained I posed no risk to him. We agreed it was very stupid what we did, and both learned our lesson as he was worried too and was grateful I made the effort to locate him as he had no real way to contact me. I know a person is only as negative as their last test and I will continue with my testing of course. I can now put my mind at ease a bit more. Thank you once again for taking the time to answer my question, and to answer it so sternly - it brings it to life.
Thank you very much for your very timely response. I appreciate your time, and this site.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It really is impossible to accurately predict the actual risk for any particular exposure. I believe the ballpark figure cited for topping a known-infected bottom is 1 in 500. But such data do not take into account such things as ejaculation/no ejaculation, duration of sex, vigor of sex (which might cause chafing), circumcisions status, or the presence of other STDs in either partner--all of which can shift the risk up and down. They also don't take the infected person's viral load into account. And I certainly cannot judge your risk in relation to whether or not you saw blood or secretions on yourself when sex was done.
Putting your risks all together, some experts would recommend PEP, but it's too late--no known value more than 72 hours after exposure. Certainly you should be HIV tested--although that really is optional if you can locate your partner and learn he is HIV negative.
Which brings me to your big mistake: No man should ever have sex with another man without mutual sharing of HIV status. Always, always, always ask!, even when safe sex is planned. Asking and sharing HIV status is equally important as safe sex in preveting HIV. You are an excellent illustration why: safe sex sometimes doesn't work, and other times just gets forgotten in the heat of the moment.
That said, don't panic. Statistically, the odds are strongly in your favor that you don't have HIV. Assuming testing shows you dodged the bullet, though, please take this event as a lesson learned and keep safe in the future.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
Putting your risks all together, some experts would recommend PEP, but it's too late--no known value more than 72 hours after exposure. Certainly you should be HIV tested--although that really is optional if you can locate your partner and learn he is HIV negative.
Which brings me to your big mistake: No man should ever have sex with another man without mutual sharing of HIV status. Always, always, always ask!, even when safe sex is planned. Asking and sharing HIV status is equally important as safe sex in preveting HIV. You are an excellent illustration why: safe sex sometimes doesn't work, and other times just gets forgotten in the heat of the moment.
That said, don't panic. Statistically, the odds are strongly in your favor that you don't have HIV. Assuming testing shows you dodged the bullet, though, please take this event as a lesson learned and keep safe in the future.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
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