Mom dying!! No meds after heart attack

[vacinity]

Hello: I was wondering if you could help me out with how long my mom has to live.
My mom went had a heart attack 2 weeks ago.. they wanted to put her in ICU. She did not want further treatment and had us and her sign her out of the emerg with no meds to help her after the heart attck. I have been caring for her since. Her respiration was 26 over 30 sec... now.. She is breathing at 35 over 30 sec. 'respiration' with ilregulater pulse. sips of water the last week and 4 tb. of applesauce a day sometimes 1/4 piece of toast. Her urine is dark. Color of face is pale. Weak.. can not walk.. her mouth rises up a bit to get air when she is leeping. She sleeps most of the time. Her feet are freezing. She is breathing below her belly button for the last week and a half. She has had a slight stroke. She seems to have dementia now in which she did not have 4 days ago. Especially after 5pm to 9:00am. She does not know who I am sometimes. She keeps seeing things and reaching in the air. She has a gurglling sound when she is breathing sometimes especially in a deep sleep. Also makes the odd sound. She does not move out of a position unless helped and even then she doesnot move much. She wears gloves on her hands and at times gets hot then cold quickly. She can not hold her body heat at times. Her eyes are sunken and glassy. She weeps because she is so helpless. She has no doctor not does she want a nurse to come in. She told me this when I got her out of the hospital. My father and brother is deceased. She said she want to be with them but then the next day she thinks she will go shopping but then tires thinking about it. She gets in a dream state then a frustrated state. Her mouth is so dry the last 2 weeks and 3 days. I know she is dying but when do I really know? I sit up at night and stare at her while her mouth.. head lifts up a bit to take in air.. sometimes for a mintue she breathes quietly. I am so confused and alone.. I do not know ehn her time will come. It is so frustrating to see her get angry at night ans not know me.. I am so sad for her it is so hard. Can you help me?
Thank-you so very much.. Sue

[Momto3]

Sue,

You are an awesome daughter!  Your courage is inspiring.  Your mother is very fortunate to have a daughter who understood her need/desire to go "home" in peace.  Treasure the memories and know that you did your best to make your mom's journey safe and peaceful.

Connie

[vacinity]

Thank-You all for your help.
I ended up taking my mom by ambulance to emerg.
Her kidneys were failing causing her great pain.
She received moraphine and passed peacefully Easter Sunday.
I'm a mess but at least she has no more pain and suffering.
God Bless and stay healthy..
Hugs Sue

[maggiemag]

It is horrible for you to be in this position by yourself.  I fully understand you honoring your mother's wishes though, but you are the one who is going to suffer the most, I'm afraid.  If your mother wants no nurses or anyone in the house, I doubt she will accept hospice, although that would be a life saver for you.  You don't say how old she is or if she has other medical conditions, but it may not be long.  The dementia could be from electrolyte imbalance and/or lack of oxygen.  Do you have any other relatives that could come stay with you?  Does she belong to a church, and if so, have you contacted the minister/priest?  Maybe someone could talk her into getting hospice.  I wish I could help.

[Flycaster305]

Pusher gave wonderful advice.  Hospice workers are trained for circumstances exactly like the one you are experiencing, and can help your Mom go to the other side of life with comfort and dignity.  We used the Hospice folks several times.  

[pusher]

If your mother is on Medicare you can call any local hospital.  They can give you the phone number and contact info for a local hospice care facility where your mother can be placed until she is gone.  Medicare pays for this.  These hospice facilities take good care of the patient and good care of you too.

I had my father living with me for 15 months on in home hospice.  The last month he was alive he spent in a hospice facility as I couldn't take care of him myself anymore.  The hospice place took very good care of him and let him die with some dignity even though he was in a coma at the end.

The actions that your mother is going through are all normal so don't be alarmed.  My dad would see members of his family that had been dead for many many years.  He saw angels and people he didn't know.  Sometimes he would carry on conversations with them.  All normal.

Please check into a hospice facility in your area.

[Sweetwaterguy]

    Your situation has conjured up many emotions, as I too, have been in a similar circumstance with both parents.  I was fortunate to have the support of my three siblings to share that duty.
    As difficult as it is, you are honoring your mother's wishes.   I would suggest you make contact with your local hospice and see if they can provide some help for you and her.  
    

[Momto3]

Sue,

Would you mom allow you to call 911?  It sounds like she should be seen.  I am not a doctor, but some of the symptoms you are describing sound the same as those my father-in-law had when he was in serious heart failure.  If she would permit you to call 911 (try to convince her), there are medications that may make her more comfortable.

[vacinity]

can someone help me!