Unknown heart problem

[theshycrier]

okay, so i am a 14 year old female and i think i have tachycardia, but im not really sure. i have a good friend who has it so she has been telling me about it and im pretty sure its what i have, but in the past years i have had other problems. from the time i was 7 or 8 sometimes, a few times a years maybe, i would get a sharp pain in my heart, making it very hard and painful to breath for at least 15 seconds. now sometimes my left shoulder will hurt alot and then my heart will beat very fast. mostly my left shoulder pain is bearably, but once in a while it hurts to move. my left shoulder doesn't always hurt when my heart is going fast. sometimes it happens when im being active, but other times i will be laying in bed and it will happen.

also, i will be sitting up and i will start blacking out, but i never fully do. i get very dizzy and everything will start to get blurry, i sometimes have to hold on to something or even sit back down until it passes (usually i just try to keep walking through it because it only lasts a few seconds) and this can happen multiple times a day. my heart isn't alwasy going fast when this happens. i heard that you can get dizzy if you get up too fast but i have tried getting up very slowly and it doesn't make a difference. this has been hapening for a year or so and my tachycardia just started this past year. i have some of the signs of a heart attack at times and im kind of afraid. i will note that i have never told a doctor about any of this. i have looked up some of this on the internet but it doesn't help that much. i just really want to know what i have and to know if it is deadly. please help.

[theshycrier]

well i don't think thats gonna happen 4 a while :P

[ireneo]

Could be or could be a drop in blood pressure or it could be from stress and anxiety. It all comes back to having the chance to talk to a doctor. What a vicious circle. :-)

[theshycrier]

the only plan i ever had for running away was to a friends house. if her parents thought i was in danger at home or knew what went on i think they would try to get me out but then i rethought it cuz they arn't the richest and they al;ready have four kids so im back to square one.

and you got my mom, spot on. my friends may not be able to cure all my problems but i don't think a counselor knowing everything about me. they root out the things you'v forgotten so solve the core of the problem and i know that it was far worse when i was yunger so i really don't want to remember all that just yet.


back to the heart thing, yea. i don't think thats possible but today i something hapened that has never happened before. i was walking around in my house, doing normal stuff, and i got really dizzy. like, dizzy enough that i pretty much feel on the floor and so i laid there for a minute and everything started spinning and the world started rocking. it lasted for a few minutes. then when i stood up i got dizzy again so i just went back to bed and laid down again. im wondering, could that be something heart-related?

[ireneo]

You probably don't want to do something as payback. Revenge is rarely worth the trouble because the person you're trying to hurt usually doesn't care. In this case, running away without a solid plan for taking care of yourself is dangerous. If you had a place to go to, a job to at least help pay part of your expenses and a plan to finish school, then it might be doable.

If your mom is the way I think she is, she won't accept any responsibility for this, won't feel any guilt. She'll manage to turn it around and say, "See, I told you she was nothing but a (fill in the blank)".  She'll be the victim.

Your friends are good to talk to but some problems are too big for them to fix. A counselor will know of different options that you can try to get through this period of your life till you can be on your own. She may know of people that can help. They don't blab your secrets. Think about it, OK?

Back to the heart business: all this stress can trigger arrhythmias so if you can get the stress under control, you may feel better in the end.

[theshycrier]

my friend never asked. me and her had planned to go but since it was a different councelor we never did.
and im pretty sure none of my friends talk to councelors, we talk to each other about our problems because we don't trust anyone else with them.

running away would work in one way to make my mother mad and anything that does that is good.anything for her to maybe feel guilty, for anything. she never seemed to feel guilty over the camp thing. my dad tried to stop my mom from letting her go because he saw the unfairness of it and she just waved him off.

[Mom2four85]

how about asking the friend who went to the counselor last year about what happened when she went? see who she talked to or if she talks to anyone else now; you may be surprised how many of your friends talk to school counselors and don't want others to know it.

times have changed since I was your age; and there are more laws/rules in place to protect children; the school is going to try and help you as much as they can; but they don't know you need help until you ask.  if you're still hesitant; just casually ask one of them about how your privacy is protected and how much they have to tell your mom - if you don't trust them; walk away and wait.

running away never solves anything and may make things worse in the end; find someone you can trust either in the school or child welfare system and ask for help

[theshycrier]

wow...thats makes me feel alot better. i was always afriad of telling the school because i always thought they would go and tell my mother what i was telling them. last year my mriend asked me to go to the counselor with her because she didn't want to go alone. she wanted to go in grade 8 because the counselor was younger and looked kind. but when we got into grade 8 she wasn't there anymore so we didn't go. i have never gone because i didn't trust them. everyone one of my friends has problems, we think its what keeps us together, even my cousin has many of the same problems with her mother abusing her and and neglecting her.

i have thought about running away alot, but this past month i really thought about it, if it would work and if i would be found. i was thinking of running away to my friends house but i don't know if my parents would try to get me back, of course they would but how much would they go to getting me back. i really have no story for now. she makes me feel usless and scared but evrything she did she did in the past. plus, i live in the country, 15 minutes from town, and thats by car. so its kind of hard to run. you have made me feel better about the situation so thanks a lot, i'll think more about telling now :)

[Mom2four85]

oh wow I'm so sorry...please go see the school counselor and get help through the school; you need to talk to someone in person and you never even have to tell your mom what you're doing; do this for yourself because you're know it's the right thing to do.

growing up is hard enough without having the person you depend on being like this; I know how you feel; my mother was an alcoholic and drug addict and never thought anything she did was wrong.  my life growing up sounds very much like what you're going through; but that was along time ago and she died when I was 28.

Luckily for me, I knew what she was doing was wrong and I felt sorry for her because she wasn't strong enough to make better choices like I did.  I took care of myself from a very early age then had to take care of her and my brothers also. I always thought it was fun to be "mom" at such a young age but at the same time I hated her for being like that and made me grow up very fast and age quickly.  

I missed out on alot growing up but that's ok; I learned to make up for it after I got a great job @16 working for the city I lived in and apt and left home. (a judge emancipated me)

I never missed a day of school; made straight A's and got a scholarship to become a teacher...then I met this guy fell in love at 17 and got married [sigh] wish I had gone ahead with my plans I loved teaching and kids back then =)

meh sorry for rambling...the reason I think I made it through ok; was I knew who I was and didn't let anyone or my circumstances stop me.

I went through counseling at school because I didn't want anyone to know - they just said "miss goody two shoes" (my nickname in HS because I was really shy and kept my nose books and studied constantly) is in trouble lol they thought I was in the office as punishment :P  the counselor is the one who helped me get a job and recommended the judge that I be allowed to live on my own at that age.

sometimes, our emotional and mental health can play a part in what goes on in our bodies and cause us some really bad symptoms; so you need to learn some ways for you to cope with what's going on that will help so later on you aren't sicker.  I took up running when I was 14 and always went back to it as a stress reliever...but biking was always fun too.

if you need to talk more, feel free to PM me
~Lisa

[theshycrier]

yea, well i don't think i'll ever be able to do that or say that, simply because im not the one being a child here, its her. she does not have an adult level, anything can set her off. i don't kno how she will react but i kno she will get mad or say im  lying or just start yelling at me. but i do almost everything she asks and im nice to her, which shuld be the other way around. but she is hard to deal with and is almost never in a good mood, or calm. she is picky and has a very short patience. my mother favors my younger sister way more then me, my mom will bring her food to the computer and take away her dishes and everything like she has a piano tied to her *** or something then she gets mad at me for being slow at taking my dishes to the sink or she'll get mad at me for something my sister did.  she never belives anything i say, and usually im telling the truth. she yells at me for anything. i'v always tried to make her happy but nothing works and im doubting that she loves me at all. a few years ago i asked to go to a camp with one of my close friends and she made up every excuse for me not to go. taht the camp was too far away or that she needed me at home for some reason and then she said she didn't trust the parents, who by the way are the nicest most trustworthy parents ever who i think love me more then she herself does! then this year my sister aked to go to a camp with her friend that was farther away than mine without any parents going and my mom said yes first thing, no questions asked. my mother is the reason im depressed and why i cut myself and why im this ****** up in the first place! i losts of disorders and i'v wanted to run away many times in the past years. when me and my sister were very young, back when my father was the only one who had a job, she would sleep until 3 in the afternoon. i must have been 3-4 and my sister was probably one. she would not feed us or get up when my sister cried and she wuldn't pick up the phone. i remember trying to get out cheese and crackers for us to eat, cutting the cheese myself and everything and it would be the  only way we would get anything until my dad came home and by that time she would be up and doing things again. she has diabetes and doesn't look after herself. my dad would go on work trips and her blood sugar would get low and i would have to get and and use the phone to call my grandparents who thankfully lived about 15 minutes away. then sometimes if they couldn't help the ambulance would have to be called and sometimes they would have to take her to the hospitol. then when i got old enough to help her myself i always felt like just leaving her there, or beating her sincxe she wouldn't remember anything when she finally got some sugar in her. she would neglect my and everything so i don't think i could ever forgive her for what she has done to me. she would be so mad at me if i blamed a single thing on her because shes the 'perfect mother, she would never treat her kids the way her mother treated her' is what she always says. i only started disobeying her a year or two ago, not listening to her, yelling back and just walking away when she was talking to me. going places when im not allowed to and making plans behind her back. so no one is going to say that i didn't try, no one is going to say that she'll understand if i tell her.

[theshycrier]

i think i might just leave everything alone and unspoken of until im an adult and look after it myself or i may be dead by then, im not saying what i'll die of, but hey, maybe i'll kill myself. but if i do pass out, ur rite that it'll get me attention, even if its unwanted. and that valsalva maneuver sounds good. thanks for ur help

[ireneo]

I understand what you're saying. Unfortunately I had a mom who was nothing like the moms we see on TV or what we would expect a mom to be. She still isn't a pleasant person at 82 (that's an understatement).

For now your heart is acting up but you're still alive and well. If you can figure out what triggers these episodes, great. Then you know what to avoid. When you're of age, then you can take the time to find out. Most likely it's nothing life threatening but it can be scary and annoying. There may be a day when you do pass out and then you will get medical attention whether your mom likes it or not.

For me, I didn't find out what was going on in my heart till I was about 24 years old. A tiny bit of advice, if your heart starts racing, don't try to walk it off. It just keeps the fast rate going. And if it goes on too long, say more than a minute, take a deep breath, hold it and then bear down as if you're going to the bathroom. It will make your heart thump around a bit but then when you release your breath, the rhythm will most likely go back to normal. That's called the valsalva maneuver. You can look it up. It's a simple way to stop a tachy time.

Take care of yourself.

[Mom2four85]

I have 4 children; 2 who are grown and 2 younger...growing up my oldest daughter was a bit difficult and really wouldn't listen to what I told her and thought I was being unfair in alot of things I did.  Now at 24 she laughs and says wow was I really like that? or did I do/say that?

sometimes growing up your parents seem to be one way but as we age, they change and get smarter and things that they say or do come into perspective as to why we did them.

just tell your mom and show her your journal about your symptoms; you never know how she'll react until you do.  make sure you tell her in a calm situation and say mom I want to talk to you about something that scares me and has been bothering me - act like an adult on her level and tell her.

hopefully she'll see what's going on and if it's nothing wrong great - you can celebrate you're ok...if not then please see a counselor at school; that's what they're for and may really help

[theshycrier]

i kno that sometimes parents can't be perfect but shes never been. plus, if i do wear a heart monitor and it doesn't catch anything then she'll really be pissed-it could get to more than just her yelling at me. and i do keep a journal, but i don't really describe what happens, i just write down that my heart went fast while sitting down. just vaug (i deffently spelt that wrong) my parents arn't really the ones i can talk to about important stuff. i just don't think it would work and if it does things WILL get worse, i kno it.  but u guys do have good advice, i just can't see myself using it :(

[ireneo]

Oh dear. If your Mom isn't on your side, then things get difficult.

A doctor may have you wear an event monitor for awhile to catch any arrhythmia that may be happening. If they can do that, then your Mom will know you're not lying. If the heart doesn't act up while wearing the monitor, then you're back to square one. So far you're still alive and able to function. This may be a problem you deal with once you become an adult.

I think Mom2four has a good suggestion: talking to a school counselor who might have some resources (other people) that can encourage you and help you with the health and emotional things going on. I don't know your mom but I know some moms are not what we expect them to be.

[Mom2four85]

just tell your mom and if she refuses; make sure you tell her what you're feeling...sometimes we parents have moments of not being "perfect" and if she doesn't agree start keeping a journal/log of dates, times, symptoms and what you were doing at the time to show her - it may be easier to see in writing what's going on

I would talk to a school counselor they may be some help and may refer you to someone and even explain to your mom how important it is that you see a medical dr and have a psych evaluation

[theshycrier]

sigh. okay, but if i do tell, my mom might not believe me, she might get mad at me and say im just trying to get attention. shes most of the reason i'v stayed quiet about all of it. shes not like other moms, she won't care abut getting me to a doctor, she'll care about if im lying and probably make some excuse about my sister. my point is something may get done about my heart, but everything else will get much worse

[Mom2four85]

if it is arrhythmia related, stress anxiety and other problems like this can only make it worse...please take ireneo's advice and talk to a doctor about the physical symptoms then talk to a mental health counselor

every you say to doctors in the US is protected by laws - you don't have to talk to the regular doctor about your feelings etc but a counselor or psych doctor you can; you may really benefit from it if you do - I waited 44 years to talk to someone and believe me; it can affect your physical health so don't wait too late like I did

[theshycrier]

yea, ur probably rite. but if i go to a doctor and be honest with them, i'd have to tell about  other problems, becos im pretty sure depression could add to this problem and then i'd have to talk to people and everything would get all stirred up, plus im kind of afraid of what would happen if it is seriouse. thanks for the advice tho!

[ireneo]

The only one who can tell if your heart is acting up is the doctor. And s/he can't help you unless you're honest with them. It may be some anxiety/worry about having a heart problem or it may be an arrhythmia. But even so, it doesn't mean your life is over. I've had arrhythmias all my life and I'm almost 59 now and doing great. But you won't have any peace of mind unless you have the doctor check it out. Better to know the facts than worry about it all the time.