Thanks Ireneo and Erijon
Thanks for your words. Ireneo i'm sorry that you lost your father a year ago. This is my first major lossand my father was the most important person in my life. I'm not married and not in a relationship, so my mother thinks i'm probably more close to my dad than i would have been otherwise. Obviously it's a different closeness, i just felt like he was my best friend. We used to 'put the world to rights' and we were going to travel together the next day.
I just thought i knew so much about heart attacks, i was trained in first aid - although not up to date obviously.......and this has shattered my illusions that i am in control.
I guess keep replaying the event in my mind is a way of coming to terms with it.
Dad bought a new mobile phone recently. My mum wants me to have it. now i loved that phone when he bought it but i also knew that he worked so hard and had very few things for himself and i can't bring myself to take the phone. It's still in the charger at his house. When we went on our trip he wanted to learn how to do video messaging.....
I suppose it's normal to feel like that. We haven't done anything with his clothes or anything. Mum still wants his slippers by his chair in the living room.
Thanks for listening
I realised the error in my question after i posted but i figured people would understand what i mean't, if they were sensitive enough that is.
Many people have had near death experiences so i think it's possible to describe to a certain degree what a 'fatal' heart attack could be like, even if the person describing it didn't actually die in the end - the steps their body went through may have been identical up to a point.
I have to agree with ireneo, I don't think the poster expected anyone who survived a fatal MI to describe it, I would have thought that was obvious. I'm sure they were just looking for some information to help put them at ease.
Obviously the patient won't be able to describe it but medically speaking we can point out what the body is doing and what each of those steps "feels" like when they occur. It only becomes fatal when there are too many steps and the person becomes biologically overwhelmed.
"What does it feel like to have a fatal heart attack?"
Maybe I'm thinking along the wrong tracks here? Can anyone who has a 'fatal' heart attack describe how it felt?
I'm so so sorry you have those painful memories. Remember, he didn't know his face was red or blue or any other color. He probably just felt very weird and couldn't figure out what was going on. Then came confusion for a moment and then he was out.
There's some debate about whether mouth to mouth is or isn't necessary during CPR. So much depends on the circumstances. I do know they prefer many more compressions between breaths now. Still, in your Dad's case I don't think even trained professionals could have saved him considering the damage done in the heart. You did your best, you tried to round up help and then tried to help him directly. Sometimes we just can't fix it.
My Dad just died a year ago and I know that in time the good memories gradually push out the sad and painful ones. I hope you'll search and cling to the good memories as much as you can for now.