There's a part of living with these that I forget

[dolfnlvr]

I was driving to work this morning and noticed the beautiful sky.  It's that time of year on the East Coast of the USA where the sky is clear and there is little humidity, and as the sun comes up it splashes the sky with a shade of pink that changes as the sun rises into the sky.  It was beautiful.  

Often on days like this I feel invigorated, excited and happy to be alive, and the same was true this morning.  And then I caught myself thinking, "...and my heart has been behaving itself....I wonder how long that will last."  I started thinking, wow, it's really messed up that such a huge part of my life is positioned around dealing with these varied heart rhythms.  

I'm not saying that they are horrible, but I guess I realized this morning that, benign or not, I have a "condition."  One that affects my everyday life.  It's not that I'm depressed, I'm not, I just started thinking about all of you and how many of you are new to these things and are adjusting to living with them.  And I realized that, even when things are going well, many of us go day to day waiting for the "other shoe to drop" and for the PVC's or SVT or whatever to return.  I guess I realized this morning that that is the worst part of these things.  The fact that even when they are not happening, you are to some level thinking about them.

It's kind of like going on a diet and not being able to do anything but think about food all day long.  This board is a good way to just get out of my head the thoughts and concerns that pop into my mind and share the thoughts with people who actually understand.  I want to thank you all for that.

Have a beautiful afternoon everyone!!!!!!

[jkfrench]

so true!

[banjosmom]

I totally relate to what you have stated.  I have been dealing with these various arrythmias since "that day" in June of '92.  It has been a rollercoaster ride ever since.  I have been able to accomplish things thru it all.  However, there is a limit on what I am able to chose to do since these things have invaded my life.  It is a frustration I deal with on a daily basis.  Some days good, some days not so good.  Most of this morning I have had PVC's, PAC's, SVT, and atrial fib.  Not fun.  It is now 1PM and things seem to have settled down for the time being.  I am exhausted.  I would rather be exhausted from walking my dogs down at the waterfront or shopping and spending my husband's money or having a marathon day of drawing/painting in my studio.  Thank you all for being here and posting.  Even tho I do not know who all of you are, you are a tremendous support and inspiration to me to keep striving thru it all.  Thanks for being here.

banjosmom

[finetilthree]

Wow, really well put you guys.  Dolfnlvr, I find myslef thinking EXACTLY the same things.  On morning like this I'll see the moms in the neigborhood pushing their babies in a jogging stroller and I feel a little jealous cuz I would be afraid just doing that.  But ya know what, I CAN do that... and one day soon I'll get over the fear and start doing things that I WANT to do.  I'd love to jump in the pool with my kids but I'm afraid what my heart will do.  Pathetic isn't it? Enjoy these glorious east coast fall mornings.  There aint nuthin better!!

[dolfnlvr]

Umm, I'm not sure what that post is all about, but I'm not sure it was called for.  Unless I'm misinterpreting............?????????

[aussie mum]

WOW... I'm having a really BAD few days as my palps have come back with force !! What you posted is soooo true.

Thank-you for your post !!

[frs87]

So. True.

It's always there, deep inside, hammering my mind.

And everyday when I wake up, my heart races up and I instantaneously thinks: "Another day of worrying in every level".

Thanks for sharing this.

[aussie mum]

PATHETIC.... Don't you think that comment was uncalled for !!

May be you had trouble type and it should of read "VERY PERFECT INDEED"

[PVC man]

So true!!  Excellent observations.  I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat anticipating that first thump and roll...but I find getting up and going for a walk/run in this beautiful weather makes me appreciate being alive...music blaring on the Ipod helps too.

Goodnight all!!

[dolfnlvr]

Aussiemum and I were referring to a post that has been deleted from this group.  Our board protectors obviously agreed that the post was out of line.  Thanks to them for keeping a sharp eye.

[Ellzeena]

You're absolutely right.  I've lived with these horrible things since I was a kid and I pretty much know that excess emotional stress, which builds up, kicks off weeks of PVCs.  WEEKS.  The first weeks-long episode I had was 15 years ago after undergoing a horrible health scare, all sorts of horrible tests and an exploratory laparotomy.  What "they" told me I had turned out to be something totally benign but let me tell you that event FREAKED me out -- my daughter was ONLY FIVE and I thought I was going to die!  Two months later I began to have constant PVCs for WEEKS...post traumatic stress!  All the holter monitors and stress tests in the world won't help reduce the underlying panic when this stuff starts happening.  I've been to top cardiologists (in fact I'm having a stress echo today!) and being told it's "nothing" is NOT helpful...it isn't NOTHING...it's SOMETHING AWFUL. Gastroenterologists who say it has nothing to do with stomach/intestines are WRONG.  I've read on the internet many indications that gas, heartburn, intestinal distress can, and do, cause PVCs, or worsen them.  My former cardiologist (I have since moved) said that intestinal issues CAN cause PVCs...so I know there's a link.  Like many other women, I also had them become worse before my period.  It seems any pressure on the abdomen, whether stomach gas, full bowel, intestinal gas (even leaning against something can do it) can precipitate PVCs.  I've even found a doctor's discussion of the longitudinal muscle bringing the sensation of PVCs but not involving the heart, and one of my holter monitors reported that what I was calling an "event" had nothing to do with my heart at all, so who KNOWS!  With these things apparently being so common, you'd think a DOCTOR who has them might want to do some serious study.  I'm so sick of living with this condition that at this point I'd pretty much rather die.  

[KLB32]

I agree....it feels like I am always waiting for that other shoe to drop.  

Ellzeena, I have been where you are.  There are days I'd rather not go on than to feel the way I do.  In addition to these awful palpitations, I have other issues like weakness, fatigue, pain all over my body, stomach issues, dizziness, etc.  I have epsiodes, like yesterday morning, where I woke up feeling like I was going to vomit, faint and just keel over.  It stopped after about 30 minutes but it was horrible.  The worst part is not knowing when/where it's going to strike.  I personally think alot of these episodes are brought on by hormonal changes (and wouldn't you know I am near my "cycle.")

But I have to go on.  I have a child and husband who need me and I have to find a way to work through this.  I refuse to let these problems rule my life.  I will not stop searching for an answer until I am better.

I agree with what you're saying that sometimes the palps we feel may not be PVC's at all.  I was hooked up to the machine for about an hour prior to my stress test and I kept getting palps.  Tons and tons of them.  I told the tech and the Dr. and they looked at me like I was nuts.  They said I did not have one single palp the entire time I was hooked up(obviosuly they had the evidence to prove it).  But I know what I felt.  So it's entirely possible some of these sensations aren't really coming from the heart.  It is a big mystery.

I plan to see a holistic MD in a few weeks to get to the bottom of my medical issues.  I am tired of living this way and conventional medicine doesn't seem to be interested in helping me.