Thoughts

[munk1958]

Flutter and sputter, thump and bang. I don't think this is what God had in mind, when he designed the human heart beat. What to do when the evil beast within my chest, refuses to do what it's supposed to. Over 20 years riding this roller coaster.Sometimes good, other times not. Slowly but surely destroying the joy of living. I watch the healthy ones, sleek and strong,doing the things I used to. No thought of their heartbeat ever crosses their mind. It's not age that is stopping me, I'm only 53. It's never knowing whether it will behave or not. The thought of a school play, or a weekend away, makes me say no. Those whose hearts beat like an atomic clock, have know idea what we are talking about. Where is my God, Who healed the blind, the lame, the diseased? Maybe He has forgotten me, or is to busy. After over 20 years of suffering, surely that should be enough. Oh to be so blessed, as to have no feeling in my chest. Then I wouldn't care what kind of beat this thing has. But I feel every flutter, sputter, thump and bang. And probably always will. There appears to be no answer to this dilemma. Just make the best of it, and keep trudging along. So goes my life, and many others. Mark

[munk1958]

Thanks for the reply,
I take Clonazapam for the anxiety. It seems to help some. I'm just having a lousy run of them right now. I did read Dr. Kenyons report. It is definately reassuring. Weird how these things can be virtually gone, and then come back with a vengeance, for no reason. Mark

[Kim_1970]

Munk,

I could have written your post myself.  I'll bet there are so many on here that could have written the same thing.  

I have only had these "things" svts, pvs, pacs, etc for the last several years.    

I have been in fear of them as well.  Developing fears of the things I was doing when I had an episode (svt attack). Showering, helping kids with homework, making dinner for family, ETC, and especially driving. It has almost ruined my life.  I have aged tremendously these last 4 years.  

I do not like going anywhere as well and became kind of agoraphobic. What  if I have another one while driving?!! You see mine make me almost faint.

If you have had this for 20 yrs, have you sought medical care?  Worn monitors?
For the mental health aspect, have you had any counseling?

I am amazed at the number of posters that have described the same anxiety in conjunction with the arrythmais.  Which comes first though?  
Chicken or the egg?

I am under medical care of EP dr, on anti-arrythmia drugs, just weaned off beta blockers, and am scheduled for ablation 3-16.  I cant wait. My fear of ablation is not as bad as thought of having to have to live the rest of my life like this.  I hope it fixes me.  I have one of the best surgeons around.

I have been seeing counselor for last few years as well as my initial diagnosis from primary dr was "anxiety attacks".  
I steam when I think of when I would have one and I was trying to pray, breathe and have faith during my attacks.  It did not work.  I even tried zanax and valium, and a couple anti anxiety ssri type meds. They did not work either.

The counseling has helped me tremendously!  Especially since diagnosis.
She is helping me learn how to handle the feelings about this and the fears that I have developed.  I am doing much better mentally.
She did theophostic prayer with me which was very amazing.
Maybe look that up on internet.

Hang in there. I am so encouraged by the posters here.

Keep searching and looking for answers.

I hope you find healing and some peace.

[achillea]

munk, sweetie, you have not been singled out by an evil fate or an unkind God.  Everyone--that is to say EVERYONE--has ectopic beats.  But some of us (quite a number, it seems) are more sensitive to what happens to everyone else without their even noticing, and we suffer the pains of the damned.

There is an answer to your dilemma, and it is this:  If you have been tested and re-tested and your heart has been found healthy, you need to address the real problem.  The real problem, of course, is the fear or panic that is caused by our awareness of the funny sensations we feel in our bodies.

So, if your heart isn't sick, and you are consumed by anxiety to the extent that it takes the joy out of your life,  what is the reasonable course of action?  To address the fear.

We need the right doctor for that, and the right doc is called a psychiatrist.  Yeah, I know:  Lots of people would rather have something terribly wrong with their hearts than consider the possibility of a psych problem, but I can tell you from personal experience that a couple of sessions with a good shrink will provide you with tools to get back the pleasure we were supposed to take in life.