My husband has been chronically ill for 13 years. Stroke with after effects of balance problems with several falls and broken bones, Aortic aneurysm repair, and, the main problem now is End stage renal disease. He doesn't want dialysis and I don't think he really knows enough about it, but, he is adamant that he will not spend 6 hours a day 3 times a week " on a machine". He doesn't want to talk about kidney disease. His GFR is 20; urea nitrogen 42;Creatinine 3.05. He is 79 years old. I am 78. We are both exhausted. A recent fall brought me down with him and I broke my foot, spending 4 months in a cast and then a boot. He had to go to a nursing home because I couldn't take care of him. It was "dangerous" for him to be home. He is still there, thinking that he will come home, but my children are afraid that we will both get hurt. I am an emotionally a wreck, cry alone every night....I really want him here, but, I am not sure I can take care of him. He is a wonderful man, but, often takes his frustrations out on me, snapping and bossing. The last two falls he injured his head. He passed out briefly after the last one and had a small seizure.....it scared me so that I still see it, and, the blood all over the floor. I just don't know how to cope. A psychologist is seeing him tomorrow and he is in a nice nursing home........Thanks for listening.