scared

[rebel123]

Mam was diagnosed three weeks ago with primary lung cancer-adenocarcinoma with mets to spine, liver and adrenal gland (shes 49) . She feels fine apart from severe pain in my cervical spine,She has to wear a surgical neck brace for support. They have found lesions in all areas of spine and told her last week she was not suitable for chemo. She had 5 sessions of radio therapy for spine and brain which along with meds has helped manage the pain. The docs told her they have now discovered mass in bothy breasts (I don't know if its related to the lung)
She spoke to the palliative care team and is coming home in two days time. She doesn't want to know how long she has left, but I want to know what to expect, I'm terrified by what lies ahead, but would like to be in some way prepared.

[rebel123]

Its not that she doesn't want to know but both her and Dad seem to be in a really good place mentally, they have kept me informed of all developments over the last couple of weeks. She says she has no plans on doing a countddown, but her plan is to stay positive and maybe get back to work even for a couple of hours. She wants to take me shopping this weekend to but me a present as a keepsake. She was sad for a few days but then bounced back and said if thats what life throws you you take it on your terms and don't let it change you. I spoke with the doc today, he said guestimates are just that but around 6months. Will she just fade or get sicker or what, he wouldnt answer. I don't know if they know what to expect and aren't telling me...

[HeinrikMD]

Hi,

The best person to ask about the estimates would be the doctors managing her. Five year survival rates are less than 2%, average survival (this roughlyh means survival for 50% of cases) for patients with advanced disease would be around 4 to 6 months. The actual course would of course vary from one case to another, so talk things over with her doctors. There may not be much that can be changed with quantity of life, but there is much to do for quality of life (based on her status and symptoms and how these can be improved). There may be some difficulty if the patient herself doesn't want to know,  this would be among the things that you may need to solve. At times, the patient already knows and the family knows but there is that wall of silence that neither party wants to break for fear of an uncomfortable conversation. Stay positive.