what??!? no more sex??!?

[LilBea]

so, i dunno, i'm a little confused, maybe hurt.. Last night, my husband and i were getting ready for bed.. well we were cuddling and then one thing lead to another and we were just about to BD when he just stopped... i asked him what was wrong ans he said that he can't "do it" that if feels weird... Weird how i asked.. i dunno just weird, not the same.
apparertly he is now turned off from sex... I have no idea why? everything was good up until yesterday :( it makes me sad that he is turned off by sex.. i've noticed that my body has changed alot... (i'll be 12 weeks on friday) and he said that it has nothing to do with it.. - i dont think i beleive him. i just don't get why all of a sudden he's not interested.. we BD'd the night before last and all was good.. and i know that there is nothing i can say or do to get him to be interested, he's going to have to do that on his own.
He knows that the baby and see, hear, feel him. and that the baby pretty much has no idea what's going on.. but all he said was "all i can think of is baby"
*sigh* it feels like im going to have to wait until this baby is born before anything sexual happens between us again...  

thanks for letting me vent..

[LilBea]

FYI
ITS BACK!!!! :) LOL

[LilBea]

:) it is sweet that he's concerned for the baby.
and he tends to cuddle my belly in the middle of the night when we are sleeping - i can feel his hand on my tummy :)
but i do have a feeling his libido is coming back!! YIPEE!! lol he keeps telling me that he "misses" me, but ive been here the whole time..... we'll see what goes on.. but really im not that concerend anymore.. lol and im blaming the hormones!!! lol

thanks ladies for your support!!

[Laura1638]

Well it is kind of sweet and it shows he cares about the baby which is good. So just try to compromise... maybe show him a baby book where they explain the "safe" positions for the baby. My doc told me not to have sex but I can't hold back ... and my hubby is a bit stressed by that but we still do it in the spoon position so he won't touch too much. Nothing happened till now so I guess that much is fine :P
And about the way we look... come on! If they were fat or pregnant wouldn't we still love them??? My husband seems a bit fascinated by my growing belly and he started cuddling and kissing it already so I guess he's not disturbed by it.
I think it's important that we discuss our feelings and changes with our husbands. That way they will understand better what's going on. If you think about it we are pretty scared ourselves (esp with the 1st pregnancy).

[rbohl01]

My hubby is definitely not scared to BD still. Its more me passed out by 8 at night that prevents it. We BD'd for the first time in like 3 weeks last night and only cause we both turned in early. I am getting self conscious about my new shape though. I asked him if he will still love me the same when i am huge and he said yes. We'll see... My tummy has already popped so I guess things are ok so far...

[tsie]

lol! i guess men are just scared when it comes to pregnancy.Because they r not the ones carrying the babies they don't totally understand wats going on and they get scared. My situation is different,i'm the one who's totally off sex and hubby is a bit pissed. He doesn't really say it but i can see it. I'm just not interested at all.We r bd'ng abt once every two weeks.Before it used to be every other day so i guess he's not liking the change.Hopefully,the second trimester will bring good changes to my body.lol

[cowboyslady88]

I went through the same problem with my hubby with our first child. He was worried about hurting the baby and he said it was weird knowing there was someone in there... lol. Anyway, at my next OB appointment I talked to my doctor about it and my doctor had a nice little chat with him about how he wouldn't hurt the baby... LOL the doctor even pulled out an anatomical diagram to show him baby is here and couldn't possibly be hurt. It was hilarious. It ended up easing my hubby's concerns and now he is okay about it in this pregnancy. Maybe your doctor can talk to him about his concerns. =)

[LilBea]

Thanks,  :)
as hard as it was for me NOT to get all hormonal on him yesterday, i think that i handled it pretty well. I did tell him that i understand that he's concerend for baby, and i also told him that there is nothing i can say or do to make him change his mind about it either. I just don't want him associate being pregnant with automatic turn off ya know? is this going to happend with baby # 2 also?? is the intimacy going to return after baby is born? or is he going to think me "different" again like he already does??
i do realize that sulking about not "getting it on" isn't going to help.. and i dont intend on doing that anyway either.. i guess all these hormones are making me way more sensitive then usual.. I mean is it really that big a deal? no prolly not.. but i just can help but feel like being pregnant means being undesireable now....

i hope your right mmeriche and he finds his groove again :)

[mmeriche]

well, i think it is sweet that he is concerned for the baby, but maybe you could talk with him about it when you are feeling calm, and ready to just explain to him how that offends you, without letting your emotions get too involved. ;) see if you can talk it out (not during before or after sex that is) -find the right time to bring it up and see what he says. i think if you show understanding about not wanting to hurt the baby, etc. that he will show understanding to you as well. and don't worry about the changes in your body.. i am sure he loves them! it is more of a mental block type of thing, an i would bet that it really does have nothing to do with you.. although i can understanding how it would make you feel that way. this could just be a temporary thing that he has to work out in his head. try to help him through it, and you two will surely be back on the intimacy track soon ;) hope this helps

[wasabic]

I have exacly the other problem my huby dont let me alone he whats to do it all the time he said its someting since i got pregnant i cant stop being horny all the time even when i vomit he is discasting and im to sick for this i dont know how to stop him his gonna rape me soon , i cant take it .