Since the miscarriage life is just getting crazier. Long story short my 16 year old niece lives with us ( me, my husband our 3 girls and my mom ) she just turned 16 and Omg she is horrible. She spent her first 10 years of life being mentally, physically, verbally, sexually, emotionally abused by her biological mom and dad. When we moved into our house and my 1st daughter was one week out we moved my mom and her in from Arizona to save her. Her mom has never wanted her anyways, well things were great and she was always so happy to have been "saved".. well now she is so ungrateful and depressed she had to be hospitalized due to suicidal threats and moody as all hell. She didn't come home last Wednesday and we have to call cops and report her missing, since then I put my foot down and took over parenting responsibility from her grandma which let her do whatever. I took her phone which has never happened in the 4 years she's lived here and it seems to be a lil better but I don't know how to fix her. How can she be getting so upset about her mom when her mom has always said she never wanted her. She's had it good last 4 years while her oldest brother has been on foster care until he aged out, her youngest brother passed away ( they sais sids, I say neglect) her older sister is a wreck from abuse and her younger sister so neglected and starved for attention, her half brother only one who gets attention because his biological dad is still around. I'm rambling I know I'm sorry but nice to vent where no one really knows or can judge. Seems to be a lot of judging from school mates, friends and some ok well most our families. Thinking of looking into shelter volunteer work with battered women and kids, something so she can see herself she has it so good. Any other thoughts , please no judgement
Its really hard for children to recover from abuse. Lots of children will flip things around in there memories as a means of self preservation. She could be blocking out that her mom was part of the abuse because the one thing that every child wants and needs is the love of their parent, especially their mom. If you can she would probably benefit from counciling or a support group for abused teens. I think setting boundaries is a good idea. Teens need structure and even if they don't see it it shows them you care.
There are also support groups for teens who have had those experiences which can be helpful. But as a survivor myself of childhood abuse, counseling for a decade made a huge difference...and its sometimes still a struggle. I agree with tomorrow on it could be how she has chosen to remember her mom as a preservation. I think her acting out is a sign of something. Maybe something else has gone on with friends, or a boy. Could also be that she is stillthat little girl who was victimized insides and still hasnt developed the traits for her age yet in expressing a need of boundaries or a struggle understanding its good attention she wants, not bad. Find a support group for you n your family, or counseling....you guts are going through a lot too and need the support just as much as she does. Stay strong.
Thanks guys, we've just started her in counciling with 1:1 and next week she will be starting a girl's only group with other girls with similar issues.. its a long road ahead but she's worth it.. @ flick can you plop that baby out already I'm dying to see facebook pictures, loved the mobile
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