How to explain to my fiance about my erection problems?

[frustratedman]

The last several years my adrenal glands got worn out and this lead to a lot of problems.  I have hypothyroidism, low testosterone, and have just recently got off of the hydrocortisone(thank god).  I still have thyroid problems and low testosterone that I manage with a pill and injections weekly.

Now, as for my problem.. I am more attracted to my fiance than any girl ever.  Physically she's perfect to me and I love her very much, but the problem is I am impotent.  I can use viagra and that works usually, but it's not spontaneous, and if she ever tries to surprise me, I get chills.  The other day I was at the computer, and she came over and we talked.  She went into the bathroom and came out with only her underwear on and as soon as I seen this I got very scared.  I either could reject her or try.  I tried, but it did not succeed.  We changed the subject and moved on.  It was very frustrating and made me angry.

After attempting to give me head the other day and me losing my erection in the process when I was fully enjoying it. She got really upset.. she started thinking I don't love her or something crazy like that.  I want to explain her the process of erections and why thyroid , testosterone and cortisol are so important.  What role they play in erections, but I don't know the exact role they play.  If someone can tell me so I can explain to her, I would really, really appreciate it!!

[frustratedman]

Thanks for the comments, but I was wanting to explain her the science behind it.  Explain how when a man gets excited, it sends the signals to the organs to create the hormones, etc that aid in an erection.  I just wanted to know the process so I could explain to her exactly what's going on.  So she will KNOW that it's not her or a lack of interest, but there is a break in the physical chain.

Know what I mean? If anybody knows this I'd love to hear it, thanks.

Sugarpea, thanks for the POV. Personally, her anger after failed attempts lead me to believe it was all her disappointment building up and just looking at me like "pathetic..whatever".  But she told me she really thought I didn't love her, and I told her it wasn't her, and she said she understood and felt better.  But, she KNOWS my health problems, this isn't the first time I've talked to her about this problem.  I just think she doesn't believe me completely because she doesn't understand how hormones affect the body.

That is why I wanted to explain to her the hormonal process of the chain of command that starts with male arrousal and ends in an erection.

[sugarpea013]

from a girls point of view...you need to tell her asap. She is going to start feeling as though SHE is doing something wrong. And I know this isn't all about her, it's very much about you too, but after having had this happen to me in the past...it made me feel HORRIBLE. If he would have just told me instead of letting all the unsuccessful attempts happen it would have been better for the both of us. I wish you the best!

[Justaguy73]

Great idea tlh777! Your post explains it all very nicely. People have problems love works around it. Sounds like you love her alot. Good luck!!

[tlh777]

you could show her this post.