I just signed up for this site because a search led me here and i saw that many women have posted about their men's porn watching habits. I will read their posts and hopefully find some answers, but i want to post my own question.
We have been married less than a year, with a baby on the way, yet we have experienced a continuous cycle of him watching porn, me finding it, him promising to quit, me believing him, and then finding it again. This has happened six times in the few years ive known him.
Lest you think im stupid for marrying him, there was a time before we got engaged when he promised he had quit, and i did not find it again until seven months into our marriage. Then i really did feel stupid to discover how naive i was. He lied to my face so many times!
I am cute, fun, not perfect looking like porn stars, but i love sex and have never once denied him and often initiate. He keeps saying he wants to quit and i support him and encorage him even though im so hurt. But he just keeps on doing it and tells me what i want to hear. I dont believe a word he says anymore.
I adore him but i think he will never be mine and i cant live like this. I dont want to bring a child into a doomed marriage. I almost think it would be better if i leave him now then have to drag our kids through a painful divorce in the future.
It has happened again last night even I have been trying to be more loving and more sexy than ever. This last time i dont feel so much shock or anger. I feel bitter and defeated. I feel like giving up. Is there any hope for a life with him that i DONT have to share with a bunch of porn stars? Should i just give up and take my life back? If i wasnt pregnant i think i would have left him already but i dont know. I can't imagine life without him but i can't imagine a life of this either.If he is willing to hurt me so much just so he can masturbate, then he clearly doesn't love me.