Loss of erection during intercourse

[starr05]

I am asking this question for my husband,as he won't go to the dr. When we make love he loses his erection a couple of min. into it. This has happened 5 times now in the past 2 weeks. When we met I was very thin and divorced with one child. I had my second child with him and gained 60 pounds and kept it. Then seven years later we had our third child, I have lost all but 5 pounds of what I gained with her but still have the 60 that I gained with the second one. So when this happens I feel as if it is me and that he isn't attracted to me anymore. I have talked to him about this and says that he still loves me and is attracted to me and doesn't know what the deal is. I have asked him if he is stressed or depressed about anything he has told me no, but I can't help think it is me. I know I need to lose weight and I am doing something about it. I guess my question is could it be something else? How do I get him to tell me the truth about his feelings?

[Calibur]

A related discussion, Why does he lose his erection only during intercourse? was started.

[Melody_P]

My husband was a virgin when we got married.  On our wedding night we attempted to make love the 1st time.  He loses his erection anytime he enters my vagina.  When I use my hand on him he has no difficulties, but as for intercourse, it still isnt happening and I am getting frustrated.

[confused1155]

this question has been posted by another but I didn't see any  real answer my husband has no problem establishing an erection but he looses it once we start having intercourse as long as its oral sex he's fine. so I think its me, he says its not, I have real low self esteem right now I recently had a stroke and am partially paralyzed he says its not me but its because he had been drinking beer, but i doin't see a couple of beers having that effect if so shouldn't it happen with oral sex as well? thanks any help or advice is appreciated i failed to mention that he is 50 not that, that should matter ...very confused

[jay175]

Please help. My husband loses erection during sex many times, I used to think it is me, but he says  it is not me, that I am sexy and turns him on, but it is so strange to me, never experienced this before in my life.

What causes this? How can I help him or what can he do do alleviate this problem? He says this has been happening for some time now, long before we met. We have been married for only 15 months now.

[out of ideas]

My girl friend and I been together for 18 months and during that time I've always have had a problem with getting good satisfaction during intercourse. It seems that when she gets very wet and she does often I lose sensation and find it hard to regain the feeling. We do not have this problem during oral sex and she keeps me going for a very long time in that matter.

[jackandjill]

Your husband probably is telling you the truth.  Many times men won't talk about physical problems.  I've had to force my husband to go to his primary care physician and I've sat in the room and brought up issues.  He tried to deny them but the doctor was really good about making my husband feel comfortable.  Good luck.  P.S.  I heard on the Dr. Drew sex talk radio show once that mostly a guy's not thinking about how fat/ugly, etc. his partner is.  He's just thinking:  I'm having sex!  Good luck!

[esoulc]

Often the feelings are exactly are NOT what you think they are in situations like this...if it's about feelings at all. With some men it's physical. If you make a big deal out of it it can only make it worse. Take it slowly...don't force things....maybe take more time starting up. I recommend creative fellatio...not just the old up and down...but use of the tongue and stimulating his nerve endings on his shaft and balls with your fingernails...lots of licking. Also each penis has it's really sensitive areas...key ones are the front on both sides in the 10:00 and 2:00 position below the shaft....and the base at the 8:00 and 4:00 spot (from a 69 position) where the base meets the ballsack. Also the sides of the balls and seldom touched tender bottoms are little secret hotspots that will make him scream if you do it right. Once he's going the area between the balls and the anus and the anus itself is the best kept secret on many men. Be nice gentle loving and have a sense of humor and assure him that no matter what the greatest gift is just being by his side and loving him every day....you'd be surprised what an aphrodisiac that can be! Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss....that is truly amazing. I'm sure your kids are beautiful!