Aa
is porn addiction treatable???
I am curious if anyone knows the chances of getting through a porn addiction
and if none of that works, there's always electro-shock therapy; i hear it works like a charm...
I have had a porn problem, my advice is just switch off.
Yes I know its easier said than done.
What I did was split the addiction into two sections.
1/ Masturbation.
2/ Perving at Porn.
The way I see things masturbation is a natural part of life, something that we learned to do as a child.
Porn on the other hand was created to suck weak people like me into it, all in the name of making money, yikes just think of the filth these morons shove on the internet they should be shot, all in the name of making money, most normal folks would throw up at the dirt that they dream up, no love, degrading to women plus plus plus.
My advice is when you feel like getting your kicks from porn unplug the computer so you dont look at porn, if you cant do that find somewhere where there is no computers, when you have done that maturbate and get it out of your system.
After masturbating you will feel as though you have achieved something, you will be relieved of your urge and happy because you resisted the temptation to look at the filth.
Yes there will be those that will say, you cant masturbate to orgasm without fantasy, that may be so but it sure beats looking at porn.
There are many groups out there to help, I did a lot of research into them but came up with the idea that its best to help yourself, when its all said and done the person that has most to gain by not looking at filth is you, most normal folks wonder why they view porn after they have relieved themselves, some like me even feel guilty.
Good luck to anyone that wants to break the chains of filth, I am fighting it and am determined to win.
Yes I know its easier said than done.
What I did was split the addiction into two sections.
1/ Masturbation.
2/ Perving at Porn.
The way I see things masturbation is a natural part of life, something that we learned to do as a child.
Porn on the other hand was created to suck weak people like me into it, all in the name of making money, yikes just think of the filth these morons shove on the internet they should be shot, all in the name of making money, most normal folks would throw up at the dirt that they dream up, no love, degrading to women plus plus plus.
My advice is when you feel like getting your kicks from porn unplug the computer so you dont look at porn, if you cant do that find somewhere where there is no computers, when you have done that maturbate and get it out of your system.
After masturbating you will feel as though you have achieved something, you will be relieved of your urge and happy because you resisted the temptation to look at the filth.
Yes there will be those that will say, you cant masturbate to orgasm without fantasy, that may be so but it sure beats looking at porn.
There are many groups out there to help, I did a lot of research into them but came up with the idea that its best to help yourself, when its all said and done the person that has most to gain by not looking at filth is you, most normal folks wonder why they view porn after they have relieved themselves, some like me even feel guilty.
Good luck to anyone that wants to break the chains of filth, I am fighting it and am determined to win.
Thanks for explaining your comment. This to me makes more sense, I understand what you are saying. Initially it sounded as if you were insulting those who take care of others.
Sorry I blew my top at you.
Sorry I blew my top at you.
Sugarpea,
No insult was meant I just tend to be more gruff than I mean to be sometimes. I was trying to say that the fields are degrading mainly in regards to how people in those fields are treated. And yes I too worked as a nurses aid, etc and quite honestly have lots of friends in the medical field, and if you do to you know the lower a person is in that area the lower the pay, the less the appreciation and the more physically debilitating the work.
Honestly most of the strippers, porn actors etc. (women) that I know of have relatively easy work in comparison and the days where the industry was rife with drugs std's etc is fading in the background.
However work a year on straight commission, get yelled at by a nurse who does all the paperwork and is twice your size while you struggle with a patient...
Please if you were actually an aide in a state that requires you to do time in a hospital, nursing home etc.. You know darn well that those fields get no respect, no appreciation etc. et al.
No insult was meant I just tend to be more gruff than I mean to be sometimes. I was trying to say that the fields are degrading mainly in regards to how people in those fields are treated. And yes I too worked as a nurses aid, etc and quite honestly have lots of friends in the medical field, and if you do to you know the lower a person is in that area the lower the pay, the less the appreciation and the more physically debilitating the work.
Honestly most of the strippers, porn actors etc. (women) that I know of have relatively easy work in comparison and the days where the industry was rife with drugs std's etc is fading in the background.
However work a year on straight commission, get yelled at by a nurse who does all the paperwork and is twice your size while you struggle with a patient...
Please if you were actually an aide in a state that requires you to do time in a hospital, nursing home etc.. You know darn well that those fields get no respect, no appreciation etc. et al.
There you go again with your frickin comments. Your post would have been fine, but then you have to through in a personal attack at the end. Come on. I've never worked customer service, but I'm sure there are many who enjoy HELPING other people. And I worked as a nurses aide for several years while going through med school. Call me crazy but I enjoyed what I did, every minute of it, dirty or clean. How dare you insult that. One day you are going to hope that someone close to you in your family has someone who cares about people taking care of them.
The whole bit with porn is pretty much up to the individuals involved though anything if taken too far can be addictive.
So far as porn being degrading? I have known various women who were to some degree or another in the industry when I was going to college and most of them said that it was more liberating because they only had to work two days a week. Most of them were just dancers or models for publications only one was into the hardcore stuff but overall much of their income was under the table and they would have laughed if you would have told them they would have more respect driving an older beat up car, and working more days and hours, giving up island trips etc.
Personally I think customer service, and/or being a nurses aide cleaning other adults feces would be more degrading.
So far as porn being degrading? I have known various women who were to some degree or another in the industry when I was going to college and most of them said that it was more liberating because they only had to work two days a week. Most of them were just dancers or models for publications only one was into the hardcore stuff but overall much of their income was under the table and they would have laughed if you would have told them they would have more respect driving an older beat up car, and working more days and hours, giving up island trips etc.
Personally I think customer service, and/or being a nurses aide cleaning other adults feces would be more degrading.
I do agree with you. Porn may not be hazardous when it comes to ones health but the amount of trouble it causes can be known only by those who suffer. I have seen relationships break due to porn and I have seen people watch porn without enjoying it.
Porn has become a subject which is better not left to an individual's opinion.
People affected by porn lose their self esteem and win their beloved one's despise. No wonder the pornstars themselves get suicidal.
I was a porn addict myself and had it not been for my wife's support and the support I got from the site http://www.throughtheflame.org. I would have, probably, lost it all.
I would strongly recommend the site to all those affected as you get support and all the experts I interacted with, there are experts by their experience as they have been there themselves.
Regards
Jim
Porn has become a subject which is better not left to an individual's opinion.
People affected by porn lose their self esteem and win their beloved one's despise. No wonder the pornstars themselves get suicidal.
I was a porn addict myself and had it not been for my wife's support and the support I got from the site http://www.throughtheflame.org. I would have, probably, lost it all.
I would strongly recommend the site to all those affected as you get support and all the experts I interacted with, there are experts by their experience as they have been there themselves.
Regards
Jim
I have been married for 20 years to a man who is addicted to porn. He has lied about it consistently and continues to do so. I have been very honest with him regarding my feelings about and it has now gotten to the point of divorce it he doesn't receive help immediately. We have three children together and i love him completely but am unwilling to continue with this! Porn is NOT ok. It hurts other people, it is degrading, humiliating and wrong! Would it be ok if it was your mother or daughter that these people were masturbating to and gauking at? If you are to give advise, shouldn't you consider the feeling of those who are being hurt by these actions and not just the person who is addicted?
You never really stated how much is too much....how much makes it an addiction? Is it because you don't want him looking at porn because it intimidates you? Does he pay for it and it exceeds his budget?
Why don't you give him an alternative to porn. Take some pictures or videos of yourself for him to slobber over. Or better yet, let him take the pictures. Join him at a strip club. Or give him a lap dance yourself.
What I'm saying is just give him a reason to not look at porn. Don't make him think he's got a problem.
As far as the performance issue....watch porn with him....let him masturbate with you right there until he's ready to explode. Then jump his bones and finish him off. Then ween him off the porn and onto you.
Why don't you give him an alternative to porn. Take some pictures or videos of yourself for him to slobber over. Or better yet, let him take the pictures. Join him at a strip club. Or give him a lap dance yourself.
What I'm saying is just give him a reason to not look at porn. Don't make him think he's got a problem.
As far as the performance issue....watch porn with him....let him masturbate with you right there until he's ready to explode. Then jump his bones and finish him off. Then ween him off the porn and onto you.
thanks a lot... the problem is that i am not opposed to the masturbation or porn. However, in all the time we have been together he has not been able to ejaculate. he can do it on his own thru masturbation but not with me. we did see an urolgist and he is now taking cialis which has helped him regain some confidence and stay hard yet he still cannot ejaculate. he then masturbates on his own to achieve satisfaction while i'm at work and lies about it. i believe that if he stops the porn that maybe he will get to a point where he just can't take it anymore and will ejaculate. the problem is he says he wants to stop and gets very upset about the fact that he can't. he is trying and we are seeing a therapist as i said soon.
Oh. Well, the issue with being unable to ejaculate probably is tied to his masturbation - but it sure doesn't mean he has to stop. Nor does it mean he's addicted in any way. Sometimes guys accustom themselves to a particular way of masturbating that can't be reproduced during partner sex - a strong grip, no lube, etc. One thing he might try is to masturbate more gently, with lube, maybe using different materials... things that feel more like partner sex.
Also, encourage him to fantasize about whatever turns him on during sex. He may be shutting off his fantasies when having partner sex with you - maybe he thinks it's inappropriate, etc. - but that's probably also shutting off his orgasm. Either way, I can't imagine trying to restrict his masturbation, since that's his only path to orgasm at this time. Give him time and space to retrain himself to come with a different touch. And you could always incorporate porn and masturbation in your partner sex, if you don't already.
But regardless, this is NOT about you, and I STRONGLY urge you not to take this personally. That can only exacerbate the situation, as I think you're seeing. I think at this point you've no doubt developed a real vicious circle, with your worries about pleasing him and his worries about pleasing you shutting off pleasure for you both. I do hope you'll be seeing a sex therapist; they're regular therapists who have additional training in sexuality. This is a pretty common issue, but a regular therapist will tend to use his/her own personal beliefs about sex, which probably isn't going to be very helpful to either of you. I wish you both the best.
Also, encourage him to fantasize about whatever turns him on during sex. He may be shutting off his fantasies when having partner sex with you - maybe he thinks it's inappropriate, etc. - but that's probably also shutting off his orgasm. Either way, I can't imagine trying to restrict his masturbation, since that's his only path to orgasm at this time. Give him time and space to retrain himself to come with a different touch. And you could always incorporate porn and masturbation in your partner sex, if you don't already.
But regardless, this is NOT about you, and I STRONGLY urge you not to take this personally. That can only exacerbate the situation, as I think you're seeing. I think at this point you've no doubt developed a real vicious circle, with your worries about pleasing him and his worries about pleasing you shutting off pleasure for you both. I do hope you'll be seeing a sex therapist; they're regular therapists who have additional training in sexuality. This is a pretty common issue, but a regular therapist will tend to use his/her own personal beliefs about sex, which probably isn't going to be very helpful to either of you. I wish you both the best.
thanks for the tips but it's actually about my boyfriend. We are going to see a therapist in mid july if I can hold out that long. It's very awful being the girlfriend of someone addicted to porn. I am a reasonably good looking girl with a pretty decent body and we get along amazingly. We are very honest with each other and it hurts him to be going through this but at least he is doing it. That alone says a lot. This was a problem that began 10 years before me and together we have come a long way but it is still hard. He is really trying and wants to overcome this problem and until me he didn't see that he had a problem. It's still very hard not to take it personally. I have become very sensitive to rejection and seem to take everything soooo personally. He has yet to ejaculate despite all attempts. Part of that has been made worse with the pressure he feels to prove to me that "I do it for him". It is the hardest thing I think either of us have ever had to deal with. As much as it hurts me I know how much it hurts him and how badly he wants to just be "normal". In order to remain sober if you're an alcoholic you stay away from alcohol and that helps avoid temptation. He owns a wireless internet company so he has to be on the computer all the time and that makes it that much harder. anyways...
Here's an article that you may find helpful: http://boards.webmd.com/webx?***@*******@****!thdchild=.59ab613f And definitely check out her board as well. The issue of porn/sex "addiction" comes up a LOT, and I think you may find it helpful to read others' perspectives on the issue.
Also, you may want to read this article from Marty Klein's website. He's a sex therapist who I think really has it together - a healthy, sex positive perspective on sex and life. This article isn't specifically about porn, but it does address the issue of "sex addiction". I would also check out the rest of his site while you're at it :-) http://www.sexed.org/archive/article08.html
Also, you may want to read this article from Marty Klein's website. He's a sex therapist who I think really has it together - a healthy, sex positive perspective on sex and life. This article isn't specifically about porn, but it does address the issue of "sex addiction". I would also check out the rest of his site while you're at it :-) http://www.sexed.org/archive/article08.html
When it comes to sex, people have a tendency to use the term "addiction" to mean "someone who wants more sex/different sex than I do". What do you consider "addicted"? Generally speaking, as long as you're not staying home from work/school to masturbate, avoiding friends so you can masturbate, or spending money you don't have on porn/masturbation accessories, you're okay. My suggestion would be to see a sex therapist, one who doesn't hold the "addiction" model. That doesn't mean you can't use porn/have sex compulsively, but the difference in perspective is pretty enormous.
Yes it can be. Anyone can get over anything. Please go to Help.com and sign up there. It's more about addictions,sex,drug use, and dating and love advice. I'm on there! I'm a very active memember. I'm the silly girl with the big smile. If you are looking at porn everyday and you can't think of anything else but porn then I would seek help from a doctor. Are you in a relationship? I know with porn if it isn't hurting others it's a little ok. I mean if your a single guy it's ok once in a great blue moon because your a man and men have needs. Are you hurting anyone by looking at porn. I'm so glad to hear from you and I'm glad you know you have a problem. I'm proud of you for telling us about it so we can help you. You just beat the first step. Saying it's ok is the last thing you want to do when your trying to get threw it. Stay around others that don't and keep your self safe by packing up the movies. I know you don't want to throw them away but just put them in a box and tape it up. It will be harder on you to open it back up. You will open it back up but the goal is to keep on taping that box back up and soon it will be less and less. If you don't see them you may not want them. Same goes for mag's! At first try to only use porn at a healthy level like twice a week. Well I hope you join help.com. That adddress may not be right but try it. I'll talk to the producer tonight and ask for a better link for you to send you right to it. Well anywho I hope you try the box thing. I hope it gets better for you, stay strong. Write back ok. Talk to you later.
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