embarrassed

I'm 23 i cant just get an erection around my girlfriend i need to play around everytime unless its first thing in the morning. Now when i get a hard on it sometimes goes down in the middle of sex and its really killing our relationship. Theres also the huge problem of getting an erection and the time it takes to get nude it goes soft and impossible to stimulate. I'm to embarrassed to go see a doctor and dont even know which type to go to.... Anyone know ways to over come this without doctor confrontation?

[Malang]

Well the first thing you need is to get relaxed, the more pressure you put overyourself, the more get it worse.... . so just take ur time.... and relax....

All man at every age face minor eraction problem.... so anytime you got errect in day proves you do not have reqular eraction problem ( so not urgently need to see the doctor ) but if you have weeks long no errection ( even not in the morning once or twice a week ) then it might be a good idea to see a doctor....

some guys have even problem to get errect if they are not feeling comfortable with the girl :-) so just relax and enjoy the moments with her.... it will work out and again dont take pressure :-)

best of luck,

[Morgannon]

"Anyone know ways to over come this without doctor confrontation?"

First of all, don't look at seeing a doctor as a "confrontation".  Doctors are there to help you get better - that's why they take an oath.  I'm married to a doctor, and she'd be the first one to tell you that.  They are caregivers.  Take the initiative and find a doctor who you are comfortable with, maybe that will help.

OK regarding your problem, that's pretty normal.  I had the same thing happening at your age, up until I was about 30.  There is a myth that guys can get hard in an instant and come on command, but that's exactly what it is - a myth.  Guys need a lot of the same stuff that women need - a relaxing environment, the right mental mood, etc.  

The pressure the previous poster mentioned is what's killing your mood, though.  It's a vicious cycle - you lose your erection for the first time, it bothers you and her, then you worry about losing it the next time you get an erection, you lose the next one, you're even more bothered, so now you're REALLY dreading the next erection...etc. etc.  

The solution is:  Relax.  Realize that it's normal.  Tell the g/f you want to stop obsessing about it (if she's doing it too, she needs to relax as well).  Stop thinking "I must get an erection next time I'm aroused", and instead, explore non-penetrative forms of sex, like oral, heavy petting, erotic touching, etc.  It's not necessary to even have an orgasm each time you have sex.  Relax, enjoy yourselves, and if you get an erection, and you're feeling good, try penetration.  If it goes away, pull out, relax, and take your time.  

I must emphasize:  You must relax.  She must relax.  You BOTH must stop putting pressure on you to get an erection.  If she can't do that, find another girlfriend - seriously.

Personal anecdote:  I had a girlfriend once who I could achieve an erection with, but I couldn't ejaculate no matter what.  It was like my penis totally went numb whenever I had sex with her.  She was upset about it, and so was I.  And for the life of me I couldn't figure out why it was happening.  Then, I went to the doctor and found out she gave me chlamydia.  She had no idea she had it, and of course neither did I.  So, I have to wonder if Mr. Willy was trying to tell me something.  I don't think that's the case with you and your girl, but losing an erection is telling you that something's not entirely right with the situation.

Hope this helps.

Morgannon