Could this wonderful child have Autism?

My five year old grandson is a loving kind child who can throw the biggest trantums I have ever seen.  Change is difficult for him.  He is fine as long as everything is going his way.  He does not line up things, or show repeatitive behavoiour in counting or rocking.  But he does have speech problems and may need gromets.  The waiting list is over a year long to see a specialist for this.  I know that children with hearing problems can have behaviour problems but I feel that it is more than this.  This child makes friends but really plays his own game within the game played by the larger group of children.  If he doesn't want to have morning tea when Kindy is having it he will refuse and then wants it when he decides he is hungry.  He doesn't seem to understand the "rules" in social behaviour.  Or why his teachers want him to eat with the other children.  His mother is very young and has pulled him out of this Kindy.  He will give hugs and kisses willingly but we have to ask for them.  Sometimes he will not speak for a time in the mornings.  Other mornings he can't stop talking.  He appears shy with people he doesn't know and will not talk.  He is an easy child to look after if he is left to play his games and ride his bike.  He hates to have to stop so that we can go shopping or pick up his older brother after school.  This can result in a trantrum.  I am usually worn out after a day looking after him.  And I am used to disability as that is the field I work in.  But I can't pinpoint if this child has a problem.  I am much to close to it.  Can anyone help with these behaviours or is he just being a "naughty" boy?  Thanks for any help.   Regards Nanjudy

[ggreg]

I do not think your grandchild has autism, but I only have an interest in it.  You say he has speech problems, but did not exactly say he has hearing problems, except you wrote "children with hearing problems can have behavior problems."  Anyhow, even if it's just speech problems, and especially if it's also hearing problems, this is why your child did not do well socially at the school and why he plays his own games.

Once the year is up and a specialist figures him out, then you can go about finding the right school that knows how to work with children who have speech and also hearing difficulties.  Try to find through the county health department someone who can see him rather sooner, to at least determine where his hearing is at, becuz obviously he could sure use some hearing aids if he can't hear well.

His tantrums to me are ordinary childhood misbehavior.  Since he probably has more than the usual frustrations with communication, he therefore blows up on an even larger scale.  There are ways of snapping a child out of a tantrum... I had them, and my parents would put my head under cold running water, worked every time, but I'm not sure if that's the right way, could be a ice bag held to the back of his neck would work just as well.  But seems to me that the best way to ease up or ward off tantrums is to daily direct him in some periods of play that will safely allow him to blow off steam and relieve tension.  An elementary school child psychologist might be able to give you tips on how to do this.  But I don't know if such methods even exist.

As for him not wanting to stop and go shopping, I would suggest you save shopping or any other outings he doesn't want to go on for when you are not looking after him.  When you pick up his brother, the one necessary trip in a normal day, find ways to reward him for getting in the car, so that he will look forward to going along.  He may do better if he can see your face when he's riding in the car, so could be you might need to pick up the brother with a friend of yours along sometimes.  I might add that looking after any child will wear out a young parent, so it's twice as hard for a grandparent, so try to make time for yourself to decompress throughout the day.

Now, the sharing hugs and kisses, usually this happens naturally with a child when an adult and the child are closely talking and fun-playing together, but since he may not speak well and particularly if he cannot hear well, that sort of one-on-one interaction with him may be difficult, so in general he's not in a huggy sort of mood.  You know, he may need a tutor type person who is willing to spend a little time in the home teaching the child and family how to better communicate, perhaps with some sign language interspersed with face-to-face carefully enuciated words.  Some churches are hooked up with speech and hearing impaired groups, and you could find that bit of help thru them.

To better relate to what your grandson is going through, on a day when you're away from him and are going to be around other people, stuff your ears with cotton and see how the next few hours go.  Pay attention to your frustration levels, how people react to you when you do not respond to their conversations, and how you react when someone comes up behind you and startles you, so that you can maybe gain good perspective on how to interact with the boy.  Those would be my thoughts.

[Dr Rajgopal]

Hi,
Most of the symptoms of your grandchild do resemble Autism. Children with the disorder have a world of their own. They do not play with other children or toys in the normal manner, rather they remain aloof and prefer to play alone.
Verbal and nonverbal communication skills, such as speech and facial expressions, develop abnormally. Symptoms range from mutism to prolonged use of echoing or stilted language. When language is present, it is often concrete, unimaginative, and immature.
Another very typical symptom of autism is an extreme resistance to change of any kind. Autistic children tend to want to maintain their established behavior patterns and a set an environment according to them. They develop rituals in play, oppose change (such as moving furniture), and may become obsessed with one particular topic.
Other behavioral abnormalities that may be present are: staring at hands or flapping arms and hands, walking on tiptoe, rocking, tantrums, strange postures, unpredictable behavior and hyperactivity. Unfortunately an autistic child has poor judgment and is therefore always at risk for danger. For example, an autistic child may run into a busy street without any sign of fear. Please consult a neurologist and psychotherapist to diagnose or rule out the disorder and know the management plan. Hope this helps you. Take care and regards!  

[nanjudy]

Thank-you for your reply.  I will start the ball rolling with this little boy.  Just a mention that he does not have the repetitive movements such as rocking and hand flapping.  He is very average in general but hates change.  Also he repeats himself several times when trying to tell you something.  Maybe his hearing?  I am starting there with the Dr. I will pay for it myself to fast track it.  He has just started patting down his hair for the last two weekends.  I will get it cut to see if that is what is bothering him.  See?  This is my problem.  I am trying to find answers so that I can rule out behaviors!!!!   I need to step back and look at him in a professional way.   Almost impossible to do.   Maybe if I record him on screen I can take a impersonal look?  Again thank-you.  Kind regards nanjudy