hand flapping

[pink0529]

I have a son that is almost 4 yrs old.  He is very social, articulate, and loves preschool.  He interacts with his friends and adults normally and has a sweet disposition.  Since he was one year old I have been concerned with his "hand flapping."  Although, I call it hand flapping it is more like a palsy movement and stiffening of hands and arms.  He does this when he is excited or tired.  It appears he holds it in during school, but on the drive home I will see him flapping as if he has built up all this excitement and needs to get it out.  When my husband takes him fishing it is out of control or we go to an aquarium and see the fish in the tanks he starts flapping.  Sometimes while watching a movie he will start flapping when an excited part happens....cars racing quickly etc.  My pediatrician keeps telling me he will outgrow it.  By age 3 he was still doing it so we decided to take him to a pediatric neurologist and was told it is something he will outgrow by around age 5 and to allow him to do it at home, but try to keep it under control in public and school.   He seems to be getting worse, will do this on a daily basis, but again only if excited or exhausted.  We plan to take him back to the pediatric neurologist in a few months when he turns 4.  There is absolutely know other signs of anything wrong besides the flapping.  We feel very blessed to have a healthy, bright boy, but am concerned because it is not getting better as he grow older.  I have seen other postings from a few other mothers that have the same concerns and was hoping there was some feedback from some of you, particularly shelbydog.  Shelbydog had a posting about a year ago regarding her son's similar behavior.  Everything you described regarding your son sounded just like my son.  Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.  

[jess436]

Thank you all so much for your posts. My daughter is 5 1/2 and her arm flapping has evolved into hand clapping and making a rather loud siren like sound. Hearing from people who have one of these habits is so helpful b/c when I watch her it looks like she is just so overcome with enthusiasm and excitement that she can't hold back. I have always thought that I don't care that she claps, but her teacher recently approached me b/c she gets very loud quite often in class. We are going to have a social worker help us in collaboration with my daughter come up with other things she can do in the classroom rather than clap. So, for those of you that do arm flap, or body rock - have you found other behaviors that are just as satisfying, but less noticeable? Also, I am fine with letting her do this at home, but work on it at school - but does this work - is this a behavior we need to address all the time or just in situations where it is not appropriate?
thank you again for these posts - so helpful

[CobaltKid]

HEy everyone. Glad I jumped on this. I have had the same thing with me since I was little. I am 21 now. I flap my hands in my face when I get excited about something. Like they said above, it's an explosion of joyous energy. It's just our own way of conveying the energy outwards. I used to have it alot but I have learned to taper off since I was about 17. I now clench my teeth and make a fist. I never have the urge to do it in public. Only when I am alone. I don't think it is Tourette's or anything like that, due to the fact that we can make it go away at will and alot of times it will dissapear for some time when we make it. It has not affected my social life at all. Nobody knows I do it. My mom caught me a few times when I was younger and that encouraged me to try to adjust my brain to expel the joy in other ways.
But overall, there is nothing wrong with doing it. Just let your kids know that they aren't strange or anything like that. It doesn't get worse than it is really.

[Mommy720]

p.s.   Thank you to handyRobbie, another_one, mjlovesparker, Just_Like_You and others who are more or less grown-ups who have shared their life experiences with this. It is refreshing and very helpful to know that you are all socially adjusted, intelligent people with bright futures and good friends. I have a kind of weird question though. . . . when my son was a baby, many many people who met him in his first few months commented about how they thought he was an "Indigo Baby", as in a soul who has "been here before". I don't mean to offend anyone on their beliefs, I am just curious if any of you feel the same about yourselves or if anyone has told you similar thoughts?? I'm just wondering if there is some "other" connection here . . .

[Mommy720]

I am so grateful I found this forum! My son is 3 1/2 and has been hopping, arm flapping, grinding his teeth and sometimes humming at the same time for a little over a year. My husband and mother-in-law have assumed that he is autistic and I have been stubborn in fighting them on this topic. My son is NOT autistic and his pediatrician agrees. However, his "condition" (assumably SMD) has been obvious and I have been desperately searching for answers. Pretty much all of the above postings have been identical to my son's situation. Actually. . . now that I am learning about this, I believe that I share the same condition, on maybe a much milder note. Since I can remember, I have had a "habit" of slightly sticking out my tongue, which would "vibrate" on it's own, and rubbing or "caressing" my arm hair with the palm of my hand. Throughout elementary school I curbed the tongue part, and through middle school I was able to stop rubbing my arms in public, although sometimes I do it just a little when I'm nervous or zoning out. And to be honest, I don't WANT to stop! It feels good and must release some sort of dopamine in the brain because it is a soothing and relieving sensation. However my I'm concerned about my son's symptoms impeding with his peers and how they will respond to him when he starts school. Are any of your parents successful in curbing these actions while in public? Are there any exercises to help them control this? I know school can be an exciting and stressful environment and I'm worried that this will make it virtually impossible to curb while he is there. I don't want people to make fun of him and I don't want to medicate him. Should I let him "let it all out" while at home and work on curbing it in public, or should I try to get him to control it all the time? I would love some advice, I have spent a lot of time crying about this and feeling very lost and alone as to what to do. Again, I am happy that I found this forum with other parents or people with similar experiences.

[worriedmumfromturkey]

I 'm so glad that I found this forum. My son 6 yr olds twists his hands and runs , make strange noises when he is excited. He does this since he was a baby. It's a huge problem because in the school, he can not stop it and the schools cannot handle it. He is very smart boy and he can control himself when he wants to but he loves doing it and he could not let it go. I 'm so helpless and depressed because nobody can help us. Do you think sports can help us? We will start Occupational Therapy , we have done sensory integration etc.. If you have any suggestion , I will really appreciate that.

[Chestnuttonno]

Thank you Robbie, to write it down is very courageous and very helpful. I have been watching and discussing the hand flapping with my 8 year old son and the way I perceive why he does it sounds just like what you are describing. I hope my son grows into the same kind of lovely young man as you come across. Good luck with your studies! Anouk, mother of 8 year old Lior Scotland UK