Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
Am i gay or is this HOCD?
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Am i gay or is this HOCD?

Okay so im a straight 15 year old male and i have been  feeling really depressed lately thinking that i could be gay when i know deep down im heterosexual. Homosexual fantasies keep popping up in my head and when this happens i become very depressed i've always been with women and i currently have a girlfriend who i have been with for like three months and im very happy with this girl all though i hardly ever get to see her. I've had a few homosexual experiences in the past i let one of my close friends that's homosexual do an oral act on me three times at the time it didn't bother me but now its getting to me really bad along with the fear of being gay.I realize that i don't want to be gay because i want a wife and kids when I get older and ive read a lot of forums about HOCD and the forums seem to match what im going through right now but i just don't know im on antidepressants but that don't seem to be helping im just really depressed right no and this is the worst time to be depressed because its around Christmas and my birthday oh yeah ive had 2 straight relationships where oral sex was involved and those was way better than the time i let my friend perform oral sex on me i totally regret letting my friend do that to me i just wish these homosexual thoughts would go away because i know deep down im heterosexual i just don't know whats going on right now i think it may be HOCD, confusion, identity crisis or something else. i've thought about watching gay porn but im scared to in case i do get an erection and these thoughts become even more over powering please somebody give me some suggestions of how i could possibly get over this because i don't want to be homosexual i would rather be bisexual than homosexual but i don't want to be bisexual either i want to return back to the heterosexual lifestyle i was living before any of this started happening about a month ago.
- sorry for typing so much i just thought it would help to understand what im going through
- it would really help if i could get some answers ASAP thanks
Tags: hocd
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you'll grow out of it
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so it is hocd?
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