When I was young, I had a dream that I was being buried and that triggered my fears of death. I dont know if it was hypochondria, but I remember I did rituals and prayed a lot to make sure nothing happend to me. If I had a pain in my chest I would assume it was heart disease or if I had a pain in my legs or arms I would assume it was cancer. I avoided reading cancer stories, obituaries, and cemeteries would remind me I would die soon. Then, I had a fear of AIDS after learning about it in school, and avoided touching the playground at school in case a needle with the AIDS virus touched it. Then I feared germs and didnt want to eat off of silverware because people put it in their mouths so I used plastic cutlery. Then, the most recent was that I'm afraid of being or becoming a lesbian. I once got aroused at a same sex thought and that made me think "You're a lesbian", even tbough I had no desire to be with women. I usually felt pleasure and arousal with sexual thoughts of opposite sex. I went into my own personal hell, not wanting to watch TV or see women, including my own family. I feared I would end up with a women, and cried so much, my dreams of being with a man vanished. It has made me suicidal. I've never was diagonsed with OCD, but I'm starting to doubt it is.