Aa
Had a cut and didn't know
I have a small cute, about the size of a large freckle on my wrist. I didn't notice it until I got to work. Once I noticed it, I immediately wiped it off with anti bacterial wipes and put a bandaid on it. I had been touching things in my shared work area all morning and just noticed that there is a weird looking substance on the area I type and my wrist may have touched that area. I'm not sure what the substance is, but it is definitely a spill of some sort. I know HIV dies quickly in air, however, I share this area with many people and the person who left only left a minute before I arrived and I could have put my wrist on the substance and didn't realize it. I'm afraid to wipe the substance up because if it turns out to be dried blood I know I will have a panic attack. Instead I just covered it up with a paper towel. Please help me someone.
I can't tell you how much this reply helped me. I too have HIV OCD (plus OCD big time) & it takes ALOT to handle it. I had to go off my meds (medical reasons) when I started seeing a new guy. I'm all about practicing safe sex & its the OCD that stopped me from going all the way. He did say he was clean, but I trust no one, again the OCD.
So, about 1 month ago we fooled around (masturbation - no risk) I gave him a hand job & he came on my hand - that hand was ok. It was the OTHER hand I started flipping out about. I had a day old paper cut on it & the day after the handjob, I found a scrape of the topside thumb. Skin intact, jagged & red, no blood. But here's the kicker, the sperm never touched the hand directly, I touched the hankie that had hand lotion (with alcohol content) & his sperm. I had an anxiety attack, refused to talk to the guy, was ready to go get the PEP from the emergency room. My sister was able to calm me down & get the story out of me. She's not a medical professional & said she was pretty sure the virus dies when it hits the air. She found an HIV forum & specialist & emailed them my story & got a reply. NO RISK AT ALL. I then joined this website & started to read about HIV.
This past week I had a GYN appointment where I had blood testing & yes again, HIV ANXIETY, this posting helped again SO much. I panicked myself into believing the results would come back positive.From what??? I had NO oral, vaginal, or anal sex!!! Logically I know that IF, IF, IF, this guy had something he wasn't aware of, there was NO WAY I could have caught anything by touching that hankie. Two reasons: the virus hit the air & was weakened & no longer infectious AND it was mixed w/the hand lotion that had alcohol content. The alcohol content would have weakened if not killed the virus altogether. In a lab, the HIV virus is killed by palmolive dish soap, that's how fragile it is.
OCD is a HORRIBLE disease & I hate it! Sometimes you have to tell it to shut the f*ck up & go away. When I'm medicated. I'm ok. These incidents & panic attacks don't happen. I have a rational & clear mind. When I'm off the meds, forget it, I'm certifiable & I can't live like that.
So, about 1 month ago we fooled around (masturbation - no risk) I gave him a hand job & he came on my hand - that hand was ok. It was the OTHER hand I started flipping out about. I had a day old paper cut on it & the day after the handjob, I found a scrape of the topside thumb. Skin intact, jagged & red, no blood. But here's the kicker, the sperm never touched the hand directly, I touched the hankie that had hand lotion (with alcohol content) & his sperm. I had an anxiety attack, refused to talk to the guy, was ready to go get the PEP from the emergency room. My sister was able to calm me down & get the story out of me. She's not a medical professional & said she was pretty sure the virus dies when it hits the air. She found an HIV forum & specialist & emailed them my story & got a reply. NO RISK AT ALL. I then joined this website & started to read about HIV.
This past week I had a GYN appointment where I had blood testing & yes again, HIV ANXIETY, this posting helped again SO much. I panicked myself into believing the results would come back positive.From what??? I had NO oral, vaginal, or anal sex!!! Logically I know that IF, IF, IF, this guy had something he wasn't aware of, there was NO WAY I could have caught anything by touching that hankie. Two reasons: the virus hit the air & was weakened & no longer infectious AND it was mixed w/the hand lotion that had alcohol content. The alcohol content would have weakened if not killed the virus altogether. In a lab, the HIV virus is killed by palmolive dish soap, that's how fragile it is.
OCD is a HORRIBLE disease & I hate it! Sometimes you have to tell it to shut the f*ck up & go away. When I'm medicated. I'm ok. These incidents & panic attacks don't happen. I have a rational & clear mind. When I'm off the meds, forget it, I'm certifiable & I can't live like that.
"Once something happens the anxiety is so overwhelming that I can't concentrate on anything but the fear." I understand exactly where you are coming from. It really is pretty gut wrenching. It is like your head is spinning in a million different directions.
You are a very strong person and I admire you for that. You are accomplishing something that I couldn't do. I caved in at 3.5 months. And the second pregnancy I didn't even try at all!
I'm sure there are sites out there where doctors are rated. And this site in particular you can search in your area for psychologists that specialize in OCD. I know it can't be easy when you are a therapist yourself.
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
You are a very strong person and I admire you for that. You are accomplishing something that I couldn't do. I caved in at 3.5 months. And the second pregnancy I didn't even try at all!
I'm sure there are sites out there where doctors are rated. And this site in particular you can search in your area for psychologists that specialize in OCD. I know it can't be easy when you are a therapist yourself.
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
Thanks all for your comments. I agree that I haven't really been helping myself when it comes to fighting the OCD monster. While on my medication, I had many work-arounds where I could say 'not helpful' or 'not a risk' and the thoughts would go away. I've given into alleviating my anxiety with rituals, compulsions and constant reassurance thinking. I know now that the cut on my wrist was not a risk, but at the time it felt like the end of the world. That is how my OCD works and I'm not sure if anyone else can relate. Once something happens the anxiety is so overwhelming that I can't concentrate on anything but the fear. Then as time goes by and I've moved on to the next fear, the previous cause of anxiety isn't as scary. I do believe that there are a lot of skilled therapists out there that can help with anxiety, but I have been to two in the last couple months and both have caused me to doubt their knowledge and skill of OCD. I am unfortunate in the fact that I went to school for psychology and currently work as a part-time counselor myself so I am biased. I did not mean to cause alarm or alert to any other OCD sufferers and that is what I am mainly upset with myself. Those circumstances are anecdotal and only were 4 cases out of the thousands that occur every year. My OCD makes me think irrational thoughts and also makes distrust people. When I'm not on my medication, I feel like people are inherently bad and are out to hurt each other.
Additionally the CDC is CORRECT in the information that they give to you. There can be no more accurate information than the center for disease control who studies this disease day in and day out. They would not lie to you. As for the few incidents you described it is a different situation from yours. Blood in a lab is fresh blood... the blood on the desk was not and did not "splatter" just one second before. The mother and the child situation - open wounds CAN indeed transmit HIV - we do not know the protective measures the mother was taking. As for the acne and lab situation - the blood directly out of the body splattered on the acne which could be deep (depending on the case of acne). You do not have full details here. I would not worry about your situation at all.
Tre -
I actually would not be worried about the cut on your wrist. First of all once you have a cut it starts to heal immediately from the inside out. Secondly you have numerous protective layers. Even if the substance on the desk were blood, which I HIGHLY doubt, it would have already been exposed to the air and thus inactive.
You have nothing to worry about here. It is not as if your cut touched someone else's open cut immediately after you both cut yourselves. That would be a different story. I can tell you from about 15 doctors that I have asked that HIV does NOT survive on inanimate objects EVER.
I actually would not be worried about the cut on your wrist. First of all once you have a cut it starts to heal immediately from the inside out. Secondly you have numerous protective layers. Even if the substance on the desk were blood, which I HIGHLY doubt, it would have already been exposed to the air and thus inactive.
You have nothing to worry about here. It is not as if your cut touched someone else's open cut immediately after you both cut yourselves. That would be a different story. I can tell you from about 15 doctors that I have asked that HIV does NOT survive on inanimate objects EVER.
I was prepared to reply to your post about how people couldn't possibly be lying in your examples, but then realized it would just be counterproductive. I could talk til I'm blue in the face, you just won't believe it. I took the time to write out a very thoughtful post, trying to explain HIV trasnmission from a technical, physilogical standpoint, and while you were appreciative, you took more time trying to convince ME I was wrong.
I think the frustration you see from peple comes from the fact that it doesn't appear you are even trying to help yourself at all. JG asked you about the OCD workbook, and you replied with more questions about HIV, never even acknowledged her question.
Just because you have chosen not to take medication during your pregnancy, doesn't mean there aren't things you could still do to help yourself. One, is to resist the urge to do things that fuel your OCD...googling perhaps is a good example. Reading about HIV certainly isn't going to help your state of mind. When you feel the need to start googling HIV, walk away from the pc. Sure it will be hard...but you have to start somewhere.
I would also recommend being more open minded. Where did you possibly get that a talk therapist wouldn't know "enough" about OCD? How did you come to that conclusion? Even if you feel that way, a therapist could help you in countless ways...helping you learn coping techniques to deal with the related anxiety. How to handle the intrusive thoughts, etc etc. Dealing with OCD is hard enough, but you are making it twice as hard because you don't even try to put faith in the professionals who know a lot about the issues on your mind. I mean, you won't even allow yourself to have faith in the CDC. Those are things a therapist could help you with...how to have trust in professionals, and other people who know what they are talking about.
You're right, this is an OCD forum, but you don't want to talk about OCD. You just want to talk about HIV over and over. That is not helping you. Heck, I couldn't even reaasure you for a minute with my enormous and extremely medically detailed post about why an environmental exposure would never lead to HIV. You can't see how that would be frustrating?
You're going to stay stuck in this cycle if you don't start TRYING to make some changes. TRYING to help yourself. Of course, when you resume your meds, that will certainly help...but you still have to work to make changes as well. A medication based therapy alone will never be as successful as one with adjunct therapy, and a patient who is willing to really work at stopping those thoughts.
One of my favorite phrases applies here perfectly....nothing changes if nothing changes. Give that some thought!
I think the frustration you see from peple comes from the fact that it doesn't appear you are even trying to help yourself at all. JG asked you about the OCD workbook, and you replied with more questions about HIV, never even acknowledged her question.
Just because you have chosen not to take medication during your pregnancy, doesn't mean there aren't things you could still do to help yourself. One, is to resist the urge to do things that fuel your OCD...googling perhaps is a good example. Reading about HIV certainly isn't going to help your state of mind. When you feel the need to start googling HIV, walk away from the pc. Sure it will be hard...but you have to start somewhere.
I would also recommend being more open minded. Where did you possibly get that a talk therapist wouldn't know "enough" about OCD? How did you come to that conclusion? Even if you feel that way, a therapist could help you in countless ways...helping you learn coping techniques to deal with the related anxiety. How to handle the intrusive thoughts, etc etc. Dealing with OCD is hard enough, but you are making it twice as hard because you don't even try to put faith in the professionals who know a lot about the issues on your mind. I mean, you won't even allow yourself to have faith in the CDC. Those are things a therapist could help you with...how to have trust in professionals, and other people who know what they are talking about.
You're right, this is an OCD forum, but you don't want to talk about OCD. You just want to talk about HIV over and over. That is not helping you. Heck, I couldn't even reaasure you for a minute with my enormous and extremely medically detailed post about why an environmental exposure would never lead to HIV. You can't see how that would be frustrating?
You're going to stay stuck in this cycle if you don't start TRYING to make some changes. TRYING to help yourself. Of course, when you resume your meds, that will certainly help...but you still have to work to make changes as well. A medication based therapy alone will never be as successful as one with adjunct therapy, and a patient who is willing to really work at stopping those thoughts.
One of my favorite phrases applies here perfectly....nothing changes if nothing changes. Give that some thought!
In all honestly TreTre...there have been so many posts that I can't remember the circumstances that people are under. I did not remember that you are pregnant so I am glad that you reminded me. Of course I know how that feels because it happened to me but I did have to take medication while pregnant. I'm not going to address the questions about HIV because honestly, I don't think anyone can convince you otherwise at this point because you are in full-blown OCD crisis. However, I do think the OCD Workbook will help and I hope that you get a chance to sit and read it and start following some of the recommendations.
I don't work for the CDC. I only go by the guidelines. And there is only so much I can say in answer to your questions. This is a forum for people suffering but at some point I run out of things I can say to reassure people. I'm not sure that you can be reassured in your current state anyway.
You only have 7 more weeks to go and then you can go back on your meds and I'm sure overcome these thoughts.
I don't work for the CDC. I only go by the guidelines. And there is only so much I can say in answer to your questions. This is a forum for people suffering but at some point I run out of things I can say to reassure people. I'm not sure that you can be reassured in your current state anyway.
You only have 7 more weeks to go and then you can go back on your meds and I'm sure overcome these thoughts.
NurseGirl- people do lie, but not in these circumstances. Once these people in these situations were exposed, they told their supervisors. They were then tested to see when they seroconverted- some seroconverted 6 weeks after the exposure, others 8 weeks after. It would be extremely conquinsidental that people who have been exposed to HIV infected blood also had unprotected sex or injected drugs around the same time they came in contact with the blood, or is that irrational of me to think that? Also, why does the CDC recommend you don't share toothbrushes and razors? Is that because someone lied about getting infected that way?
As far as helping myself, I think that I've made the point that I know I have a terrible case of OCD and I am currently not taking medication due to pregnancy. I am 33 weeks along and am suffering horrible anxiety from unmedicated OCD and it's exasberated by pregnancy hormones and stress. I do not have a CB therapist in my area and only have talk therapist which do know help because I don't perceive them as knowledgable of my illness. Believe me, when I get back on my medications, I will surely leave you all alone but I thought this forum was for people suffering from OCD and have questions, I didn't realize it was only for people currently being treated or who are already "fixed".
As far as helping myself, I think that I've made the point that I know I have a terrible case of OCD and I am currently not taking medication due to pregnancy. I am 33 weeks along and am suffering horrible anxiety from unmedicated OCD and it's exasberated by pregnancy hormones and stress. I do not have a CB therapist in my area and only have talk therapist which do know help because I don't perceive them as knowledgable of my illness. Believe me, when I get back on my medications, I will surely leave you all alone but I thought this forum was for people suffering from OCD and have questions, I didn't realize it was only for people currently being treated or who are already "fixed".
JG said it all...you have to help yourself. I could answer questions every day all day, you will come up with another. That's how the cycle works.
You asked if I could explain the instances you list above? I can do that very easily...people LIE. A person who cheated on their husband is going to say they were exposed at work. A heterosexual man who became + through anal sex will say he touched someone's cut.
That's called "subjective" info...information gathered by interview, based on someone's word. "Objective" info is tangible...cells studied in a lab, measurements, etc. Objective info about HIV that is obtained via studieas and research is factual. Anything else is a crapshoot. I hope you really heed JG's advice and help yourself.
You asked if I could explain the instances you list above? I can do that very easily...people LIE. A person who cheated on their husband is going to say they were exposed at work. A heterosexual man who became + through anal sex will say he touched someone's cut.
That's called "subjective" info...information gathered by interview, based on someone's word. "Objective" info is tangible...cells studied in a lab, measurements, etc. Objective info about HIV that is obtained via studieas and research is factual. Anything else is a crapshoot. I hope you really heed JG's advice and help yourself.
Let me ask you, where does it end? How many questions can you ask pertaining to perceived risk situations that are not real risk situations? The questions are going to be infinite because you both have a disorder that is not being treated. Treat the underlying disorder and these thoughts will go puff into the night. Trust me please. Treat the OCD if it is OCD or treat the HIV Anxiety if that is what it is. And take your computers and lock them in the closet because they are fueling the fire here. I mean really, what if I got struck by lightening? What if I got hit by a bus? What if my house burned down? What if I died in a car accident? What-if, what-if, what-if. It is an awful way to live.
Due to those three incidents that did happen mentioned above how can we say it's not passed by environmental surfaces?
Given the theoretical risks ad three incidents that happened can't it be passed via manicure then?
I'm going to be brutally honest here. TreTre, none of us on this site can fix you. All we can do is give you the facts and share with you our own experiences. YOU have to fix yourself. You know what you have to do because we have told you. You need to see a psychologist. I mean this has been going on since April. You said you brought the OCD workbook...did you read it? Did you do any of the things the book says to do to get rid of irrational thoughts? What have you done to help yourself? Internet searches are not going to help you...they are only going to make things worse and I think you can see that for yourself. If I were you, I'd take the computer and put it away for a while, get out the workbook and start reading it and on Monday start looking for a good therapist. It is awful, we all know, to be thinking these thoughts. Why do you think I take medication? It makes me think normally again. So please, please do something proactive and help yourself.
It's those transmissions that you speak of that create this panic that then makes OCD worse.Transmissions like those are rare though and there are circumstances related like high viral loads or perfect circumstances.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my comment and the information you gave me is reassuring. My OCD does make me more paranoid and have irrational thoughts and I apologize for frustrating anyone. It's the couple of incidents I read about on the CDC website that has gotten me to worry more about exposure outside of the body. For instance, there was the case of the mother with AIDS passing the virus on to her son. The CDC does not know how the virus could have spread but assumes it was wound to wound transmission as the AIDS patient had lesions she picked and she would also pick her childs wounds. That to me shows it can happen outside of the body. The other instances happened from working at blood labs. One of the labs the blood sprayed everywhere and the person working contracted HIV even though she had all the protective layers on, including googles. She does recall having some sort of skin issue on the back of her ear. The other instance the woman had acne on her face and they believe the blood must have came in contact with that. Yet again, environmental transmission that occurred outside of the body. Another instance was a nurse who used her finger to keep a patient from bleeding from the neck after performing a bad trachetomy. She did not recall having any sores, cuts on her fingers and she ended up with the virus. I wish I never read those articles from the CDC website because it makes things like you say hard to believe. I do believe you are right in a lot of ways but how can you explain those documented cases of transmission??
Please listen to Nursegirl she knows exactly what she it talking about.I ve OCD about illnesses and it is a pain but it can be taken care of with FACTS and LOGIC! If I were you I would get a handle on this as quick as possible bc if you do not it will make you crazy like it did me for a little while,its not fun at all.
" It's the fact that there is a theoretical risk and I'm going to be the first person it does happen to. I don't really believe what the CDC says about transmission. I think a lot of people get it from the environment, but since scientists don't think it's possible, most people think instead that they must have gotten it through sex."
If you don't believe what the CDC says (based on studies, research and scientific fact), then who WOULD you believe? You couldn't be more wrong about thinking you could get HIV from the environment. It's not even a theoretical risk...its NO risk.
Having a very good understanding of the anatomy of the virus and mechanism of transmission that needs to take place for infection to occur, I can tell you WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that infection from environmental surfaces is not scientifically possible.
HIV is a VERY weak and fragile virus, due to its structure. It's the outer shell that needs to be present and intact to preserve the virus and allow for transmission. That's the part of the virus that has to latch on to the T-cells, causing infection.
In order for transmission to occur, a set of nearly perfect circumstances have to be present. 1.) There has to be viable infectious material...blood, semen, etc. In order for that fluid to remain infectious and viable, it can NOT be exposed to the elements. The moment it is exposed to the elements, that outer shell starts breaking down, rendering it useless. The EXACT period of time the entire viral particle takes to become inactive is not important, as you seem to think..because again, it becomes damaged and the "dying" process of the virus begins immediately. The virus does not have to be 100% "dead' for it not to be infectious. THIS IS WHY TRANSMISSION HAS TO TAKE PLACE INSIDE THE BODY, NO EXCEPTIONS 2.) There has to be ENOUGH infectious fluid to cause infection. A drop, two drops, 20 drops of a fluid is not enough, even in a REAL risk situation, like unprotected sex. 3.) There has to be a vulnerable tissue, or an entry point that will allow the virus access to the bloodstream, which HAS TO HAPPEN for transmission to occur. An entry point would be the highly vascular mucous membranes of the internal genitalia or anus, and an injury sufficient enough to let that virus get to the bloodstream (think hospital, stitches...not a freckle sized cut). Again, a superficial cut will not reach the bloodstream, because the skin is comprised of many protective layers. You could put your freckle sized cut into a glass of fresh HIV+ blood in a lab setting where it is preserved, and you STILL would not get infected.
If there is a breakdown in ANY of those three factors, infection will not and CAN not occur. This is why an environmental exposure poses no risk...because the infectious fluid becomes inactive, and because there is no susceptible tissue that would serve as an entry point, and because there would never be enough of the fluid to pose a risk. It is extremely hard to get HIV (thank GOD because more people would be infected). It's not like the common cold. This is why it is classified as a blood borne disease and an STD. Even people with needlestick injuries with HIV+ patients don't usually end up infected. I worked in employee health at a hospital for many years...and out of ALL of the occupational exposures I was involved in dealing with (with known HIV+ pts), guess how many health care workers became infected? ZERO. Some of them were significant exposures too. There are a lot more infections that are WAY more likely to occur, and just as serious as HIV, but because you have the HIV related OCD, you're overly focused on that. Unless you are sharing needles with someone, or having unprotected sex with people you don't know, HIV will NEVER be a concern for you. Let me say that again, NEVER.
If it was possible to become infected from toilet seats, desks, counter tops, the entire world would have HIV by now. I'm sure my writing this is in vain, because if you don't believe the CDC, you surely won't believe me. How do you think the scientific community came to the conclusion of what is a risk and what isn't? NOT from Joe Schmo insisting that his risk factor was touching a toilet seat, and believing him, or not believing him...but from studying the virus extensively in a lab setting....observing the anatomy of the virus, how it reacts to different situations, etc.
You know darn well that your problem is OCD, and THAT is what you should be concentrating on addressing. Until you can learn to retrain the way you think and react to these situations, you will continue to fear HIV at every turn.
If you don't believe what the CDC says (based on studies, research and scientific fact), then who WOULD you believe? You couldn't be more wrong about thinking you could get HIV from the environment. It's not even a theoretical risk...its NO risk.
Having a very good understanding of the anatomy of the virus and mechanism of transmission that needs to take place for infection to occur, I can tell you WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that infection from environmental surfaces is not scientifically possible.
HIV is a VERY weak and fragile virus, due to its structure. It's the outer shell that needs to be present and intact to preserve the virus and allow for transmission. That's the part of the virus that has to latch on to the T-cells, causing infection.
In order for transmission to occur, a set of nearly perfect circumstances have to be present. 1.) There has to be viable infectious material...blood, semen, etc. In order for that fluid to remain infectious and viable, it can NOT be exposed to the elements. The moment it is exposed to the elements, that outer shell starts breaking down, rendering it useless. The EXACT period of time the entire viral particle takes to become inactive is not important, as you seem to think..because again, it becomes damaged and the "dying" process of the virus begins immediately. The virus does not have to be 100% "dead' for it not to be infectious. THIS IS WHY TRANSMISSION HAS TO TAKE PLACE INSIDE THE BODY, NO EXCEPTIONS 2.) There has to be ENOUGH infectious fluid to cause infection. A drop, two drops, 20 drops of a fluid is not enough, even in a REAL risk situation, like unprotected sex. 3.) There has to be a vulnerable tissue, or an entry point that will allow the virus access to the bloodstream, which HAS TO HAPPEN for transmission to occur. An entry point would be the highly vascular mucous membranes of the internal genitalia or anus, and an injury sufficient enough to let that virus get to the bloodstream (think hospital, stitches...not a freckle sized cut). Again, a superficial cut will not reach the bloodstream, because the skin is comprised of many protective layers. You could put your freckle sized cut into a glass of fresh HIV+ blood in a lab setting where it is preserved, and you STILL would not get infected.
If there is a breakdown in ANY of those three factors, infection will not and CAN not occur. This is why an environmental exposure poses no risk...because the infectious fluid becomes inactive, and because there is no susceptible tissue that would serve as an entry point, and because there would never be enough of the fluid to pose a risk. It is extremely hard to get HIV (thank GOD because more people would be infected). It's not like the common cold. This is why it is classified as a blood borne disease and an STD. Even people with needlestick injuries with HIV+ patients don't usually end up infected. I worked in employee health at a hospital for many years...and out of ALL of the occupational exposures I was involved in dealing with (with known HIV+ pts), guess how many health care workers became infected? ZERO. Some of them were significant exposures too. There are a lot more infections that are WAY more likely to occur, and just as serious as HIV, but because you have the HIV related OCD, you're overly focused on that. Unless you are sharing needles with someone, or having unprotected sex with people you don't know, HIV will NEVER be a concern for you. Let me say that again, NEVER.
If it was possible to become infected from toilet seats, desks, counter tops, the entire world would have HIV by now. I'm sure my writing this is in vain, because if you don't believe the CDC, you surely won't believe me. How do you think the scientific community came to the conclusion of what is a risk and what isn't? NOT from Joe Schmo insisting that his risk factor was touching a toilet seat, and believing him, or not believing him...but from studying the virus extensively in a lab setting....observing the anatomy of the virus, how it reacts to different situations, etc.
You know darn well that your problem is OCD, and THAT is what you should be concentrating on addressing. Until you can learn to retrain the way you think and react to these situations, you will continue to fear HIV at every turn.
In an office setting, the chances of that spill being coffee are astronomical while the chances of it being blood at all are less than the chance of you getting struck by lightning twice within five minutes and the chance of it being HIV blood are so remote that it's nonexistent.
I understand OCD as it relates to being obsessed whether I locked the door before leaving the house and I know how irrational I'm being but I also know it's common that people leave their door unlocked and it happens all the time, which intensifies my worry! But in your case, there is literally no basis for this irrational fear because there has never been one, not even one case of a person getting HIV in the manner you describe. For you to keep thinking that you will be the first is giving yourself far too much credit where it's never going to happen in reality.
There is no risk for you from this. FACT: The virus is so fragile that it is not possible for it to replicate outside the confines of the human body. That's why environmental exposure is not physically possible in reality.
I understand OCD as it relates to being obsessed whether I locked the door before leaving the house and I know how irrational I'm being but I also know it's common that people leave their door unlocked and it happens all the time, which intensifies my worry! But in your case, there is literally no basis for this irrational fear because there has never been one, not even one case of a person getting HIV in the manner you describe. For you to keep thinking that you will be the first is giving yourself far too much credit where it's never going to happen in reality.
There is no risk for you from this. FACT: The virus is so fragile that it is not possible for it to replicate outside the confines of the human body. That's why environmental exposure is not physically possible in reality.
Thanks JGF25 for the post. Unfortunately, I've read so many times I basically have it memorized. It's the fact that there is a theoretical risk and I'm going to be the first person it does happen to. I don't really believe what the CDC says about transmission. I think a lot of people get it from the environment, but since scientists don't think it's possible, most people think instead that they must have gotten it through sex. Let me explain my thought. Let's say I just contracted it through this cut on my wrist. I go and have sex with my fiancee. He and I both have the virus now. When we go get tested, the doctor will say that one of us must have given it to the other or one of us cheated. This is how the false idea that it's just spread in those couple of routes is created when in fact, I'm sure people have been infected through environmental exposure. HIV doesn't last long outside of the body, but nobody has been able to confirm just how long. If this fluid wasn't dry by the time my cut touched it, that is a definitive risk. I can only pray it's not blood and it's not HIV infected blood, but how will I ever know for sure.
TreTre, I have just copied and pasted something I wrote to another person on the forum with the same thoughts as you.
This is a direct quote form the CDC and please read the entire thing carefully.
Scientists and medical authorities agree that HIV does not survive well outside the body, making the possibility of environmental transmission remote. HIV is found in varying concentrations or amounts in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, saliva, and tears. To obtain data on the survival of HIV, laboratory studies have required the use of artificially high concentrations of laboratory-grown virus. Although these unnatural concentrations of HIV can be kept alive for days or even weeks under precisely controlled and limited laboratory conditions, CDC studies have shown that drying of even these high concentrations of HIV reduces the amount of infectious virus by 90 to 99 percent within several hours. Since the HIV concentrations used in laboratory studies are much higher than those actually found in blood or other specimens, drying of HIV-infected human blood or other body fluids reduces the theoretical risk of environmental transmission to that which has been observed–essentially zero. Incorrect interpretations of conclusions drawn from laboratory studies have in some instances caused unnecessary alarm.
Results from laboratory studies should not be used to assess specific personal risk of infection because (1) the amount of virus studied is not found in human specimens or elsewhere in nature, and (2) no one has been identified as infected with HIV due to contact with an environmental surface. Additionally, HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.
This is the most important part
"(1) the amount of virus studied is not found in human specimens or elsewhere in nature, and (2) no one has been identified as infected with HIV due to contact with an environmental surface. Additionally, HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host."
Hopefully this has alleviated some of your fears.
Take care.
.
This is a direct quote form the CDC and please read the entire thing carefully.
Scientists and medical authorities agree that HIV does not survive well outside the body, making the possibility of environmental transmission remote. HIV is found in varying concentrations or amounts in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, saliva, and tears. To obtain data on the survival of HIV, laboratory studies have required the use of artificially high concentrations of laboratory-grown virus. Although these unnatural concentrations of HIV can be kept alive for days or even weeks under precisely controlled and limited laboratory conditions, CDC studies have shown that drying of even these high concentrations of HIV reduces the amount of infectious virus by 90 to 99 percent within several hours. Since the HIV concentrations used in laboratory studies are much higher than those actually found in blood or other specimens, drying of HIV-infected human blood or other body fluids reduces the theoretical risk of environmental transmission to that which has been observed–essentially zero. Incorrect interpretations of conclusions drawn from laboratory studies have in some instances caused unnecessary alarm.
Results from laboratory studies should not be used to assess specific personal risk of infection because (1) the amount of virus studied is not found in human specimens or elsewhere in nature, and (2) no one has been identified as infected with HIV due to contact with an environmental surface. Additionally, HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.
This is the most important part
"(1) the amount of virus studied is not found in human specimens or elsewhere in nature, and (2) no one has been identified as infected with HIV due to contact with an environmental surface. Additionally, HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host."
Hopefully this has alleviated some of your fears.
Take care.
.
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
I know how you feel about the fears of open wounds and the possbility of blood borne viruses. There are a million what if's and I think that 999,999 of those what if's all have the same answer when it comes to the OCD, no risk. I also understand that it is that ONE what if that will stick in your mind and make you drive yourself into a tizzy.
What you need to get a handle on, and trust me I know it is not easy, esp if you are not on medication, is that it is your OCD that is making you feel this way. It is not the spill, it is not the cut on your wrist, it is not the impossibility of HIV, it is your OCD. You have to identify the monster that is in your head. Without medication is it increasingly difficult to tame this monster, but you have to be fully aware of what it is that you are dealing with. You are dealing with OCD. Full blown OCD panic and you know, I have faith that you know, you are.
Stop. Take a deep breath. And then take another.
I agree that if you do not believe the CDC, then who can you believe? If you choose to believe your own irrational OCD thoughts (and you know that they are, we all deal with them and we all know them) rather than scientists and Dr's who devote their life to this research then I really can't say anything to you to reassure you which is what you are looking for. No one can reassure you if you do not believe the professionals that are 100% correct in their findings.
OCD is very hard to deal with. It is not easy and the what if's and the panic that ensues after the what if's, is at times unbearable.
I always have bainaid's on hand, i carry a box in my purse. I cover everything. every little knick and scratch even if they are closed and not bleeding. Because of this I also notice wben other people do not have bandaids on cuts, scratches, hangnails... etc. And all these people are doing fine. If HIV were so easy to contract then a lot more people would have it, and I do mean a lot. Think about it. Do you really think that you will be the one case in documented medical history to catch a disease in a way that is not possible?
Remember that is is OCD that is causing you to think this way. It is not logic. It is not fact. It is a disorder that you can get a handle of and get rid of it takes time patience and hard work and medication.
Take a deep breath. It's OCD.