Dear all,
I am female, and after a recent makeout session with a guy I'm dating, (we just kissed, mutual masturbation and no genital to genital contact). We had some drinks. He had 3 x 0.5 L and I had 2 x 0.5 L of beer and for me I spaced it out over 2 hours. I wasn't drunk neither blackout, just felt more easy going. I can't help thinking that instead of his finger down my pants, it was his penis. We madeout in a park, I wouldn't say it was dimly lit, but not too bright either. After making out, I tried to give him a handjob, but didn't feel comfortable so we stopped. That's the only time I saw his penis. He tried to finger me again but I was tired and we decided to leave. Before we left the park, I made a note in my cell just (my way of combating OCD), and it read " he confirmed it was his hands down and only remove his penis for handjob which he had to unbuckle his pants". Plus I was wearing tight stockings (closed toes) kind and a dress which won't be easy to just remove. Even if he pulled it down, my butt would have been exposed and I would most certainly know but I didn't remember him pulling my pants down and believe that it didn't happened. Just the OCD taking over. I walked to the train station and trained back home. However the thought of him actually using his penis instead of fingers freaked me out and I have asked him several times and he reassured me and honestly, I would have felt the difference. However it keeps bothering me. I've reached the point where I wear the same outfit and reenact the situation using my dildo. But have come to realised it won't be easy for him to switch from fingering to penis without me not knowing or pulling my panties and stockings down. All I can think of is getting tested. I have done this several times for similar occasions where is just kissing, some fingering. I'm tired of living like this. Any tips on moving on? Thank You very much :)