Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
I did something very stupid :(
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I did something very stupid :(

Hi everyone. I've had Confessional OCD for the past 5 years or so. I've been taking Paroxetine 50mg for the past few years to treat it and it has always worked amazingly. I suffered a severe relapse a few months back due to coming off my medication too quickly (my psychiatrist had given me a plan, but I stupidly didn't pay much attention to how gradually I was meant to reduce it), but as soon as I went back on it everything went back to normal. However, just under a week ago I went to a friend's house and drank too much and took cocaine for the first time ever. I know, I'm an idiot. Ever since I've been a mess. My OCD and anxiety has returned full force and I feel like I'm relapsing again. I feel so angry at myself for doing something so foolish, but unfortunately what's done is done. I wonder if the cocaine has interfered with my medication and if things will go back to normal soon. I hope so, things are so hard right now. It doesn't help that I'm completely on my own too and have to deal with this by myself. My boyfriend is in China at the moment and isn't back again for a while. It terrifies me to be alone, that I'll completely fall apart and go crazy and I'll be miserable and unhappy forever. I spend all day crying and freaking out and can't leave the house or go to work or anything. I feel like I want to die but could never do it, not to my family. I also feel so guilty that they have to deal with me like this. Sorry about the rant, but I just don't want to live like this anymore :(
10 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
Ok we all make mistakes thats normal,and coke could mess with it,I would as k a doc on that, do not wrry they arent going to report you to the police for that at all. Its cool we all need to rant once in a while,its healthy
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2083175_tn?1336085912
I agree that we all make mistakes and we all have done things that we are not proud of. Mistakes are an important part of life and an important part of learning.

I would say that your guilt is coming from the OCD, as guilt and OCD go hand in hand. It's ok to make a mistake, it is ok to mess up. Do not beat yourself up for this.

I am not a Dr, I am not sure if it can affect your medication or not, I do not think that a one time thing will be a biggie at all.

Relax. You lived and you learned. You are ok.
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Hi there and welcome to the forum.

First of all, I think you have learned a valuable lesson here.  What you really learned is that alcohol, cocaine and OCD do not mix.  

The medications taken for OCD tell you to avoid alcohol consumption so it is best to err on the side of caution and heed the warning label that comes with you medication.

Cocaine...where to begin.  First of all it is a stimulant and stimulants of any kind including caffeine is something you want to stay away from.  Cocaine affects the central nervous system.  If affects the uptake of dopamine.  Dopamine is a neurotransmitter and OCD is a neurotransmitter disorder so anything that affects the central nervous system is going to affect your level of OCD.  

Since it was less than a week, I think you need to give yourself a bit more time to come back to normal.  Others have said the same thing happened to them when they drank or smoked marijuana let alone cocaine so just give it a few more days and hopefully you will be feeling better.  

These substances, in the long run, are never going to make you feel better.  So chalk this one up to a learning experience, get yourself back on the right track, and I'm sure things will be back to normal soon.
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Avatar_m_tn
I made a post recently about stupidly taking cocaine and this is a follow on from that. Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond. I'm not doing any better unfortunately. It hasn't helped that my family, who were staying with me for a few days, have gone back home and I'm back to being on my own. I'm from Ireland and that's where all my family and friends are, and I'm here in England on my own because my boyfriend who I live with is in China for a month. I can't even talk to him properly because he has no phone and no access to Skype. I feel so alone. I have no-one to help me or even spend a bit of time with me and no money to go home. I should probably add that I recently started taking the Pill for the first time in years. I took about a week's worth and came off them because I learned that they can worsen OCD and depression. I spend day after day sitting on the sofa or in bed crying and crying and crying until I nearly pass out from exhaustion. I can't leave the house and I'm so so afraid. I don't know what to do. I'm a mess.
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Avatar_m_tn
The pill can worsen depression? Like clinical depression?
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Avatar_m_tn
Well I have OCD but experience severe associated depression. I've been okay for a while, feeling content and positive and my OCD had been as good as gone. Just very recently though I went back on the pill, but came off after a week. Every one of my sisters has had problems with depression and anxiety from taking the pill and I read some rhings regarding the pill and OCD, so decided to come off it. I'm still on my OCD meds - Paroxetine 50mg - but I think taking the pill has screwed with them. I hope this wears off soon, I can't deal with this.
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480448_tn?1403547723
Yes, the "pill" is a hormone.  It can cause, or affect anxiety and depression.
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Avatar_m_tn
Wow so thats why women get extra emotional while their on it
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Yes...have more sympathy on us poor women Michael...LOL
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Avatar_m_tn
Trust me I am trying,its a day to day battle lol
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