Needle stick , HIV , OCD, Anxiety! Help me please.

[neilneil]

hi, first off I think I have OCD and I most certainly have anxiety issues (in therapy). I am constantly worried about hiv, and everything seems to be a risk even non risky behaviours.

This morning I took the bus, I live in Toronto. It was really crowded and I stood right at the door before getting out and this honestly really creepy man with rings on each finger and a really bad smell. just kind of draged me towards the door because he was standing so awkwardly close to me. I got out like 2mins after he stood that close.

As I exited the bus thoughts rushed through my head and I remember about that case in QC about that man that hid serynges to infect people. I thought what if he stuck me with a needle (he really looked like a drug user) while I was standing at that door without me really noticing it?

later my arm began to hurt a little and feel like after you get blood drawn(anxiety I hope) I inspected my arms and I found something like a papercut, red not bleeding and like 2 pimple looking spots on the other. I touched my arm so much it left red marks. I am freaking out.

Do I have a reason for concern? should I get tested?

would I definately feel it if he stuck me with a needle somehow through my clothes even just a tiny poke?

is this a real possibility or is OCD and anxiety really getting the best of me?
is so I am really shocked that this feels psychologicaly and physicaly like a real threat to me that keeps me from doing anythinh,


sorry for the long post, I am alone and have nobosy to talk about this.

[neilneil]

thanks man! means a lot.

[warriorromeo]

hey buddy,

This is OCD.Nothing to worry about.Stay cool.Today i had a blood drawn for a insurance policy.The nurse had drawn blood and took the Cotton wool and placed on my vein in the syringe puncture mark.I had a drop of blood coming out after my blood been drawn.Now i am OCDing about what if there is some blood on the table(from previous users blood) and the nurse placed the cotton on that blood and took the same cotton and placed on my vein where i had that one drop of blood coming out of the vein.

Bottom line-These what ifs are unstoppable.They are part and pacel of OCD.Jus ignore them and move on.You do not have a Risk at all.Its jus OCD.

[neilneil]

I have more free time now, and I still have this mark on my elbow crease (where you get blood drawn) because I pinched is for days, thinking there was a needle mark. and because it s still there I start thinking, what if it was really a needle ? What if…

[JGF25]

Use your journal.  Write down the irrational thought and then write down a counter thought...one that is based in fact and not fiction.  

[neilneil]

After a little thinking, I agree with you. I am doing all the wrong things.I have even today thought because some man was laughing in the bus I could have caught something because of his spit, I admit I got a little spit on my hand but every normal person would just wipe it of and move on, not me I go online look for spit transmission with possible blood inside etc.

I think I will try to focus on other things and let go of worries before they take over but it s just really really hard.

Thank You.

N.

[JGF25]

At this point, in your current state of mind, you are going to attribute anything you feel or see to "being stuck by a needle."  You need to say ENOUGH.  Fall back on your therapy because I can promise you that right now you are doing all the wrong things.  

[neilneil]

Thank you, it's scary because it seems so real you know? I mean I don t think someone hops on a Bus to go put needles with hiv in random peoples arms. And it must have bled no? Because you see I was almost ready to let it go, however after I stepped out of that bus I started feeling a slight pain in my right arm like after you have blood drawn. I inspected my arm and I found 2 little pimples and one small blackhead on my right arm. On my left arm I didn t notice something immediately.

A while later I started examining that small blackhead and started pushing on it like a maniac, the blackhead came out and it left a red mark of course. The problem is that red mark is exactly where you get blood drawn on your arm and my vein happens to be under it.

Then I saw two little paper cuts on my left arm. The thing is I can t seem to rationalize all this, in my head it s just a giant dark cloud and I already feel like I will have hiv out of this.

Do you think I have any reason to be concerned or for that matter tested? everything I said here is the truth, nothing more nothing less.

Thank you!

[JGF25]

I don't think you got stuck by anything.  Having OCD myself, I know how irrational we can think.  But being on Medication and having learned cognitive behavioral therapy, I can now see through the irrational and simply let it go.

[neilneil]

I m just starting just having a journal, and try to deviate from the fear before it consumes me, basically right now I actually need someone that my needle stick fear is totally bonkers! youbare right excessive testing and wait three months in fear is unhealthy, so what do you think?

[JGF25]

Your OCD and anxiety is getting the best of you.  It sounds like you are already in therapy.  What are you learning?  Are you learning cognitive behavioral therapy?  Are you learning that reassurance seeking only lasts for a short while?  Are you learning that giving in and testing for HIV in situations like this will actually just keep the HIV anxiety going?  This is not a common occurrence and not one you need to worry about.  

[neilneil]

opninion?