OCD about brain damage

[young_guy123]

Hi,

I really hope someone can reassure me here. 2 years ago I made a big mistake and decided to smoke a waterpipe. I didn't know what the content was. It turned out this pipe contained methamphetamine. I gave in to group pressure but never inhaled the stuff (apart from tiny bits sometimes). I hardly felt anything from it (apart from mild euphoria). However just before I was leaving for home (I was on holiday), some of the smoke entered my lungs (I have no idea how much because I didn't know anything about the dose).

I didn't feel anything for a while but after 30 min or so I got stomach cramps and felt pretty ill for 2-3 hours. I also had dilated pupils. I didn't faint, didn't have convulsions. but I'm afraid it could've been an overdose. When the stomach cramps were gone I felt OK again and even went to work that evening. 2 years on I don't have any signs of brain damage, but I often have feelings of depression (I also had those before the incident though because I have asperger's which makes life difficult sometimes).

I didn't think about this till I read an article on the internet about the dangers of methamphetamine some months ago. I dont have any of the damage signs (my memory seems ok and don't have any motor skill problems), but one part of the article said dopamine receptors can get damaged so I became worried about the possibility of that happening. There are still good moments in my life: I have a GF, don't have any problem with orgasm, I also feel happy sometimes, but the obsessive thoughts about the damage keep coming back and it's extremely annoying. I have history of OCD, so that's probably why I get obsessed about it.

If my dopamine function would be damaged, would it be very obvious?

Is there any way to get rid of my anxiety? Is there a test to prove there is nothing wrong with my dopamine receptors? I would just prefer someone on here could reassure me so I can stop worrying about it and start living again. The obsessions can take up many hours of the day (which is typical for OCD). I just want to enjoy life again!

Hope someone can help.

(I never took that drug again and never intend to either. I have never been addicted. I'm fundamentally anti drugs so that's why I'm obsessed by this)

[123tushar07]

yes cbt works for all types of ocd, learn how to do it from ur pychologist or from some self help book

[young_guy123]

Hi thanks for your reply :).

I do see a psychologist. I had mild ocd in past but it got worse when I started uni. I took paxil for a year, symptoms disappeared, but quitted because of sexual side effects. Luckily OCD didn't come back for a year till I dropped out of uni. At first it was about other ridiculous things, but since I read the article it's about 'brain damage'. Of course I know these thoughts are irrational but they're hard to resist.

I know the concept of CBT, I don't have experience with it. I'm interested though. Is it as effective for 'mental' compulsions as it's for physical ones (like repeated hand washing?).

Many thanks!

[JGF25]

Hi there.  You are not brain damaged and don't read anymore articles on the internet because it just feeds into your anxiety.  If you have a history of OCD then you have to know that this is just one more thing for you to obsess over.  Something that scares the crap out of you and also something that you cannot control in that you can't look inside your brain and see if everything looks right.  These are the things that drive us the craziest because we want to be in control of everything.  Your brain is fine.

How have you handled your OCD in the past?  Did you see a psychologist and learn CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy)?