OCD and HIV phobia

[carlosantunes1000]

hello

I have OCD and my problem is HIV PHOBIA , i have beeing doing treatment in a pschyatric and therapist . i have had many side effects of medication because my condition is strong now im also using homeopathic treatment im a litlee skeptical do you guys believe that works for something ? i would like also to comment about my ridiculous fears about HIV (not ridiculous to me they really bother my life alot )

[carlosantunes1000]

can you help me im having extremely panic attacks and im felling alot of fear that wont go away over my last crazy incident

[carlosantunes1000]

i know im on treatment with psycologist and a physychiatrist , its working but very slowly .i went on PEP in dec 2012 -jan2013 it is very bad as for the transmissions methods of HIV im very aware of them but i think that for example i could be the firts one two get HIV by food if people put blood on it and i have sores in my mounth even if its easier to get hit by a meteore the possibility to get infected by HIV is terrible . about the possibility to get infected by a syringe with HIV infected blood is around 0.3% and i know doctors that stick themeselfs with needles used in HIV infected persons and none of them got infected as for the syringe that i had in my house its was not used in anyone never i just opened it to look how it work as i told you i put alcohol and water inside it to see the liquid coming out of the needle , i keep thinking that the guy that assemble the shelf in my room went inside the closet somehow found the syringe uncapped it and used it on him just for fun that dont make any sense even if he was a heavy drug user what he dont look like i actually know him he would stick himself with the syringe because it was empty . i know its crazy im afraid that in a couple years by son will get sick and im the one that have to be blamed for doing that to his life because i keep that syringue in my closet for no reason and i didnt paid full atention while the guy was in my room doing his job . about the test i quit it for now because that didnt help me for nothing and the wait for the results use to be 2,3 days .

[JGF25]

You definitely need to seek professional help.  Can you see  a psychologist where you live?  

Also, it may help for you to familiarize yourself about HIV from perhaps the CDC website.  Some of the things you are mentioning are not even transmission methods of HIV.  Actually HIV is very fragile and cannot live in the air.  Think about it.  If it was like the flu virus, then we would all have it.  Also, statistics show that if you take a syringe that actually has HIV blood in it and stick yourself with it, you have less than a 1% chance of getting HIV...that is how hard it is to become HIV positive.  

As for the PEP....well you don't want to be taking that stuff unless you actually had a real exposure, i.e., somebody in the healthcare field.  

Lastly, 45 tests over a three year period tell me that you have very bad HIV anxiety and that you definitely need to see professional help.  It isn't going to go away on its own.  You have to learn how to deal with the thoughts and get out of the cycle of testing because honestly that is just keeping the anxiety going and going.  

[carlosantunes1000]

no . i have all kinds of fear from eating outside of my house , fear that people will put blood in my food , i fear that if i left my contact leans somewhere someone will put their blood inside it . last weekend as i posted on the HIV prevention forum i have an incident and im very afraid i had an unused seringue in  my closed that i boughta year for a vet procedure for my dog but never used i decided to do a very stupid thing and play with it i put alcohol 48% and tap water inside it several times and touch my finger on the tip of the needle very softly blood didnt came out nor it hurt so i guess that didnt went throught my skin , my 7 year old son saw me with the seryngue and asked me to see it as i said very quickly he poked his finger in the needle and blood came out but im not afraid of me as i never used that seringue and even if i had used im not sexualy active dont engage in any risk actives and had beeing tested for HIV 3 months ago im afraid that 1 week before by son prick his finger a guy came to my house to assemble a shelf in the same room where the closet and the seringue was i know its ridiculos but i keep thinking that the guy used that seringue , its is totally crazy to think that someone would use a random seringue in someone elses house and the seringue was in a hidden spot in a closet and the closet have no door soo  my mind keep worring me i also for coincidence have played with the seringue and put alcohol and tap water inside it twice and that was after the guy came to clean any dust inside the seryngue so in the impossible scenario that the guy was a maniac and pricked himself with a ramdom seringue that he had to open cause it was capped i cleaned it with water and 48% alcohol and press it to get rid of everything sorry i know this possiblity is absolutely ridiulous and the racional part of my mind knows that dindt happen .

the other person told me about to get tested and relief the anxiet actually not a good advice from my experince i have beeing testing myself since 2011 with lab test HIV duo more than 45 times last 3 years i once lied to the doctors and went on PEP for a month i use to get tested twice a month than i dropped to once a month i got to slow dow and finally when anxiety comes because of fear i hold myself unltil its gone it worked for the last 3 months in 3 situations all non sexual all non sense involving food and the last that i described the last one im still worried with my child . OCD is not an easy thing to deal specially when you fear HIV so much that it really impacts your life i hope i could only have obssesions about numbers and stuff again

[Ameya26]

I am suffering from the same things..i don't know what to do.. i stopped eating outside ..if I see anything red in food I will keep on thinking about it and crying..

[reminadaze]

I have OCD and also suffer from AIDS/HIV related paranoia. What I do is tell myself that "this is not HIV, this is my disorder". It helps a lot, especially when I get something like a cold and start comparing it to the HIV symptoms lists online. If that doesn't work for you the other thing that I also do is regularly get tested for HIV. Oraquick home tests cost about $40-50 and you can buy them at most convenience stores or Walmart. Planned parenthood also offers cheap testing (mine was completely free under my insurance). Both methods will allow you to get results in 15-20 minutes and are easy procedures that don't require you to wait multiple weeks for test results and have your anxiety flare up.

[JGF25]

Hi there....are they doing any exposure therapy?  I.e., sitting in an AIDS clinic or anything like that?  Do you have generalized HIV anxiety or something more like somebody sticking you with a needle?