Ocd?

[jiaz11]

hi,

i have this fear that i have been intentionally transmitted with hiv by someone at some point of time..from public transport or cinemas..i had an encounter once with a stranger approaching me for sexual abuse..i had hopefully escaped of it..but ever since i have this doubt that he was an hiv positive and he must hav thrown at me some needle or something infected with hiv without me knowing it..also i had done blood donation and as such fear that too..i was fearful offering lift to strangers as i think they might infect me with hiv intentionally..is this an ocd symptom? i dont hav any other symptomps like repeatd handwashing, checking etc nor have compulsions..though iam a bit hypochondriac..also have a taste for perfection and symmetry..is the fear irrational? do i have ocd?

[jiaz11]

Ok thanks a lot..I will consult with a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Meanwhile, the anxiety persists. The mere thought of it (always recurrent) turns my stomach from time to time. I understand that i cant do much on that matter. Thanks again for the help, i will keep in touch with the forum..

[JGF25]

Remember though that there was no incident so there can be no HIV infection.  It is possible to worry so much that we actually weaken our immune system and that opens us up to getting normal viral infections.  I once had it so bad I lost 12 pounds in 3 weeks.  I mean it really does take over your life and so that is why you have to treat the OCD.  Once you get that going, the other stuff falls into place.  

[jiaz11]

Thank you, it is so reassuring. But it was a typical fight or flight situation. I mean, could the adrenaline have stopped me from knowing the pain then? I later checked for signs but found none though. Anyway, i know the thought is irrational but just cant control it. Iam imagining at length what will happen if i have hiv, things like that. Moreover, i have got a fever 3 days back and consulted with the doctor. He suggested it was viral fever and also put a test for jaundice. The test result confirmed the starting of jaundice. But something in my mind tells me it is the hiv symptoms iam having (symptoms one experience within one month after initial exposure). The timing is correct because the incident took place one month back. These are the thoughts which deeply trouble me. This forum is of great consolation to me. Reading the comments and watching others' posts really help me a lot..

[JGF25]

Hi there....first of all, you have an anxiety disorder and so there is every reason to believe you could also have some OCD issues as well.  But like RL said, you would need to be formally diagnosed to be sure.  

Let me tell you that in all the statistics for people getting HIV, none of them state "needle stick from a stranger."  It just doesn't happen.  I understand that in India there is a high prevalence of HIV and so this is probably playing into your worry as well.  But I promise you that if you were stuck with a needle you would know it.  I do it accidentally at work sometimes ( in a lab) and it hurts like hell.  There is no mistaking that you have just been jabbed.

I think you may want to consider going back on medication if it helped you at all the first time you took it.  Things are kind of piling up on you and that is how it starts.  So give this some thought.

Also, yes when you donate blood it is checked for everything under the sun so if they didn't call you back you have no problems with any diseases.  And you don't have to worry about the 3 month mark because you were never stuck to begin with.  

It is very, very hard to get HIV.  If you were to be stuck by a needle that actually had HIV in it, your chances of becoming HIV positive are less than 1 percent...that is how hard it is to get.  So just keep this statistic in the back of your mind but remember...you were never exposed to begin with.  Take care of you!

[jiaz11]

Iam from india. Ive heard of an Elisa test. But dont know the details. Also i have donated blood recently. So would they have checked for hiv then? Also the recent incident took place only a month ago. Ive heard the antibodies will be present only 3 months after initial exposure?

[RainLover71]

you have to be diagnosed with OCD by a professional but I wouldn't worry about HIV anymore,you have over the counter rapid tests avaliable now in the US.

[jiaz11]

Thankyou all for your kind comments. But iam still a little confused whether i have ocd or not. I mean i have hypochondria alright but how can i differentiate it from ocd. I was diagnosed with panic attacks and the first incident was substance induced. Eversince, i had a series of panick attacks from time to time. This definitely led to my increased sensitivity regarding body functions and anxiety over health. I did take short term medication for panic attacks but discontinued within 1 month. Now the problem with panic attacks is somewhat resolved. So i mean to ask, aren't these things somewhat connected? I also suffer from insomnia and had taken valium and discontinued (the problem still persists and i think it is dpsd though the doctor thought otherwise but i hadnt discussed my doubt with him then). But hiv anxiety has materialized over me in the past years from time to time. Do i really have ocd or some other problem??

[RainLover71]

Then there is no need to worry.The other day I went shopping and somehow there was blood on one of the shopping bags--now there is no way in the world that blood could infected me for many different reasons so I just ignored the whole thing.Thats all we can do.I can assure you that situations like this will happen again.

[jiaz11]

Actually iam sure the incident was completely harmless..i mean the guy never touched me..we were close enough though..i left the scene but after sometime it struck me suddenly what if the guy struck me with some needle or some kind of thing without me knowing..i checked for signs in the body but found none (though a red patch in my back). But ever since iam obsessed with this thought. A similiar kind of incident happened 6 years back and iam worried about that too.

[RainLover71]

I look at HIV exposures this way--if you know the person is 100% HIV positive then there is a reason to worry if you have come into contact with their blood,otherwise never assume or your OCD will drive you mad,you will begin to think everyone is infected and your life will become a nightmare.Only be concerned if there has been a genuine risk.

[anacyde]

Not all OCD manifests in handwashing; that is merely one variety of many.  I do think what you describe sounds like OCD, and I cannot stress enough how important it is to seek treatment for it now before it spirals your life down so quickly that you barely remember who you once were.  It's a nasty disorder, but very treatable.  The sooner you start working your way out, the better.  Best advice I can give you is, quite simply, do not give in to the fear - or it will eat you alive and your world will become smaller and more terrifying by the day.