Aa
Please help me
Hello, I really need advice from someone. I really don't know if this is ocd.
I'm in a relationship 3years and have a wonderful boyfriend. I would never cheat because cheating is nightmare for me (my dad cheated on my mother for years).
But what causes my anxiety is the night out that happend almost 2and half years ago.
I was with my friends and we were "happy drunk", I remember everything. Two guys from group tried to flirt with me but I was constantly talking about my boyfriend. When somebody step on my foot I bent down because it hurt me and one guy who was sitting next to me kissed me on the back of my head. He also took picture with me but I considered this just friendly because I'm really happy drunk and never never flirty.
After my friend and I went home, on the way to taxi I cried to her that I'm sure my boyfriend will cheat on me ( again, he is wonderful, I'm just over paranoid with cheating).
The next day on the coffee, my friend told me that this guy (her friend) was asking about me and I told her that he sent me messages and even kissed me on the back of my head but I was just friendly. She said to him that I'm really in love with my boyfriend and that he should stay away from me.
So, this anxiety didn't start the next day or weeks after. It started months from that night out. I was always questioning myself "what if I did something wrong and kissed this guy and I don't remember it? " or " I don't remember kissing him so that must mean I kissed him". But this guilt feeling came in waves and in between this phases I was happy and carefree.
The biggest anxiety and guilt feeling came this month. And all Thanks to my visualization and imagination. I tried really hard to remember the whole night so I visualized kissing every boy there. And ofcourse, I visualized that specific boy too much and that image now feels so real and I don't know if that is repressed Memory or just my imagination. My friend told me She was with me every second and that I didn't do anything but I keep asking myself what if.
Please help me. Next week I'm going on hipnotherapy Because my sister is convinced this is some deeper issue due to our childhood.
I'm in a relationship 3years and have a wonderful boyfriend. I would never cheat because cheating is nightmare for me (my dad cheated on my mother for years).
But what causes my anxiety is the night out that happend almost 2and half years ago.
I was with my friends and we were "happy drunk", I remember everything. Two guys from group tried to flirt with me but I was constantly talking about my boyfriend. When somebody step on my foot I bent down because it hurt me and one guy who was sitting next to me kissed me on the back of my head. He also took picture with me but I considered this just friendly because I'm really happy drunk and never never flirty.
After my friend and I went home, on the way to taxi I cried to her that I'm sure my boyfriend will cheat on me ( again, he is wonderful, I'm just over paranoid with cheating).
The next day on the coffee, my friend told me that this guy (her friend) was asking about me and I told her that he sent me messages and even kissed me on the back of my head but I was just friendly. She said to him that I'm really in love with my boyfriend and that he should stay away from me.
So, this anxiety didn't start the next day or weeks after. It started months from that night out. I was always questioning myself "what if I did something wrong and kissed this guy and I don't remember it? " or " I don't remember kissing him so that must mean I kissed him". But this guilt feeling came in waves and in between this phases I was happy and carefree.
The biggest anxiety and guilt feeling came this month. And all Thanks to my visualization and imagination. I tried really hard to remember the whole night so I visualized kissing every boy there. And ofcourse, I visualized that specific boy too much and that image now feels so real and I don't know if that is repressed Memory or just my imagination. My friend told me She was with me every second and that I didn't do anything but I keep asking myself what if.
Please help me. Next week I'm going on hipnotherapy Because my sister is convinced this is some deeper issue due to our childhood.
due to ocd your mind is consistently searching on those things, it is possible to remember things after a long period of time
But why does this image feels so real? Is it possible to remember something after 3years??
i think you have never been officially diagnosed for ocd, but from what you have written it looks to me like ocd, imagining and checking whether you have done something wrong, doubting on urself looks like symptoms of ocd,i would advise you to meet a psychiatrist, i dont think it is due to childhood issues and for ocd hipnotherapy cant be solution , it can only be corrected by medication and cognitive behavior therapy
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