Aa
Reallly really bad stage
Hey there, I'm new here and I have severe OCD. I'm 21, live in Mexico, already been to both psychiatrist and psychologist and also a mental hospital but this seems to not get any better.
My obsession is manly related to big tank trucks that carry chemical substances (gasoline, thinner, dangerous, toxic waste, so on). I kinda feel they get in my body and I'm never gonna be able to wash it off and the very critical one when it pops my mind is that those things may fall down and make a big huge mess like exploding.
To make matters worse, my house is next to a very busy free way so its almost impossible for me to have peace while I'm out.... I've tried several prescription drugs and I feel like they do nothing, the anxiety and the suffering becomes really hard to deal with whenever I see or I'm close to those things.
I don''t really know what to do. I don't attend school, no friends, no hobbies and my family doesn't really support me, nothing. Either I have to come back to the mental hospital or just wait till something more horrible happens to me.... i just don't know that to think anymore..... so u do have any advice guys.
Sorry if my english is not that great! :/
My obsession is manly related to big tank trucks that carry chemical substances (gasoline, thinner, dangerous, toxic waste, so on). I kinda feel they get in my body and I'm never gonna be able to wash it off and the very critical one when it pops my mind is that those things may fall down and make a big huge mess like exploding.
To make matters worse, my house is next to a very busy free way so its almost impossible for me to have peace while I'm out.... I've tried several prescription drugs and I feel like they do nothing, the anxiety and the suffering becomes really hard to deal with whenever I see or I'm close to those things.
I don''t really know what to do. I don't attend school, no friends, no hobbies and my family doesn't really support me, nothing. Either I have to come back to the mental hospital or just wait till something more horrible happens to me.... i just don't know that to think anymore..... so u do have any advice guys.
Sorry if my english is not that great! :/
Well thanks a lot for reading my post..... Yes I've known and seen some accidents, this particular free way isn't really the safest. Cleaning is really hard for me, I follow some rituals but most of the time I'm scared and afraid of taking a bath cause I feel kinda have some chemicals on me and let several days pass to "prove me" that I don't have nothing going on.
I'm aware of the fact that every day people drive here and such.... but the main problem for me, is that If I go out I don't have the "security" of a car, I just leave and have to walk all the way till the bus stop right almost to the edge of this horrible free way. By the time Ive reached the bus stop, I'll have seen lots of cars and trucks.... I'f I'm not mistaken this part could be considered as exposure, but its is algo the most painful thing for me to do hence I avoid to go out as much as possible .
The generic name for the drugs that still consume are....Clonazepam which in the states may be known as Klonopin and Fluoxetine (aka Prozac). Right now, I'm alone without any family member or friend and I feel that really affects me so bad that I'm drowning in my thoughts and anxiety.
My therapist isn't really helping and meds can't really control the whole vertigo/anxity thing when I have a close contact to those trucks and thats why I can't really do something with people or an activity to relax me i daily basis... my mother (who lives far from me but covers my costs) is already tired of me, and she believes that I have to come back to the Psychiatric hospital but I really don't want to....
This disorder is already a difficult thing and my culture makes it a lot harder whenever I wan't to try something new.... but yeah I do agree that have to rely on the positive facts and be as reasonable as I can, its just that it is not enough to conceal my pressures from society and still affects me really bad.
I'm aware of the fact that every day people drive here and such.... but the main problem for me, is that If I go out I don't have the "security" of a car, I just leave and have to walk all the way till the bus stop right almost to the edge of this horrible free way. By the time Ive reached the bus stop, I'll have seen lots of cars and trucks.... I'f I'm not mistaken this part could be considered as exposure, but its is algo the most painful thing for me to do hence I avoid to go out as much as possible .
The generic name for the drugs that still consume are....Clonazepam which in the states may be known as Klonopin and Fluoxetine (aka Prozac). Right now, I'm alone without any family member or friend and I feel that really affects me so bad that I'm drowning in my thoughts and anxiety.
My therapist isn't really helping and meds can't really control the whole vertigo/anxity thing when I have a close contact to those trucks and thats why I can't really do something with people or an activity to relax me i daily basis... my mother (who lives far from me but covers my costs) is already tired of me, and she believes that I have to come back to the Psychiatric hospital but I really don't want to....
This disorder is already a difficult thing and my culture makes it a lot harder whenever I wan't to try something new.... but yeah I do agree that have to rely on the positive facts and be as reasonable as I can, its just that it is not enough to conceal my pressures from society and still affects me really bad.
First of all, let me ask if you have ever seen a tanker type truck accident? Is there something in your past that has triggered this type of OCD?
It sounds as if you have a few things going on. The first is an aversion to chemicals and a cleanliness problem. Does cleanliness in general bother you?
You said you took meds but they didn't work. What did you try and for how long were you on them? Also did any of your therapists ever discuss CBT or exposure therapy? You have to look at it this way, how long have you lived next to the freeway? You are obviously not sick from these trucks that go by. Did they ever discuss with you an exposure therapy where you go out on your front porch for a certain amount of time, watch the trucks, and then go back inside? If you are anxious, then use the breathing technique to calm yourself down. Deep breath in through your nose, hold it for 5 seconds and count this out in your head, and then let it all out through your mouth. You continue to do this until you are calm. Then the next day you do it again but add some more time to your outside stay. You decide how much to add. And don't forget to breath.
Also, you need to rely on positive statements of fact. People drive on the freeway all the time and have no problems with exposure to anything in these trucks. You are not going to be the one and only person to get exposed to something. So you need to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.
If you have given up on therapy, try it again. Learn CBT, try some exposure therapy, and rethink the meds. It is kind of hit and miss with meds...what works well for someone else may not work at all for you.
Take care.
It sounds as if you have a few things going on. The first is an aversion to chemicals and a cleanliness problem. Does cleanliness in general bother you?
You said you took meds but they didn't work. What did you try and for how long were you on them? Also did any of your therapists ever discuss CBT or exposure therapy? You have to look at it this way, how long have you lived next to the freeway? You are obviously not sick from these trucks that go by. Did they ever discuss with you an exposure therapy where you go out on your front porch for a certain amount of time, watch the trucks, and then go back inside? If you are anxious, then use the breathing technique to calm yourself down. Deep breath in through your nose, hold it for 5 seconds and count this out in your head, and then let it all out through your mouth. You continue to do this until you are calm. Then the next day you do it again but add some more time to your outside stay. You decide how much to add. And don't forget to breath.
Also, you need to rely on positive statements of fact. People drive on the freeway all the time and have no problems with exposure to anything in these trucks. You are not going to be the one and only person to get exposed to something. So you need to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.
If you have given up on therapy, try it again. Learn CBT, try some exposure therapy, and rethink the meds. It is kind of hit and miss with meds...what works well for someone else may not work at all for you.
Take care.
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