Exposure therapy gets you used to the idea of gay people and gets you comfortable with them. I am now actually really good friends with a gay guy, we actually lift together all the time and he tells me about all the hot guys in the gym. A month ago I would have been extremely awkward about it, but now that I'm so comfortable with my sexuality I can see what makes these guys hot to him and I'll agree. It's really no big deal, because you know you're straight, It's perfectly fine to think that others of the same sex are attractive. Picture girls who say their friends are pretty, and how they wish they looked like them and all that jazz. Its the same situation but its so frowned upon for men to do that, which is why we feel so damn uncomfortable agreeing in that sense. Read more about exposure therapy if you really want to try it, the idea is to face your fear of becoming gay by befriending gay people. This is how I thought about, if you're gay deep down and you know it, why would you go through all the anxiety and stress that HOCD causes? Nobody cares that you're gay and worrying about it is really stupid once you think about it. Just accept the fact that you may be gay and the anxiety starts to go away.
Chances are if you're a sufferer of HOCD, you masturbate an absurd amount, I know I did. I actually bated so much that it numbed my feelings towards girls and made me focus only on guys which is what made me so fearful in the first place. If you stop masturbating, there are so many benefits that come with it it's ridiculous. You start to feel better about yourself in so many ways, and I've actually channeled all the energy I used to masturbate into getting to the gym, doing homework etc. it was an extremely positive change for me. I know that it seems like this is dumb, but really check out the website yourbrainonporn.com, it really lays out every single negative effect that porn come with which is also why you may be conditioned to only masturbate to gay porn (EVEN IF YOU'RE STRAIGHT). To give an example, the first time I actually started paying attention to girls again was after 3 days of not masturbating and I was horny as hell. It was awesome.
As someone who was really suffering from HOCD (I couldn't even leave my house or talk to people in general), take it from me that this stuff REALLY helps. I'm still in the recovery period and I actually had a small relapse (panic attack) about four days ago but I didn't let it bother me. I channeled my energy into meditation and physical exertion instead of self-checking and freaking out. Seriously, the only way to get over this is to face it head on, because the more you avoid it the worse it's going to get. I promise it'll get better, but it'll be worse before it gets better for that's just part of the process.
Also try meditating, it sounds dumb but it really helped me. It allows your mind to let go of control and let your body do some of the thinking for once.
If you have any questions just ask away, I'm here to help because I know first hand how bad this mental illness really is. And trust me, I want to see all of you as happy as I am right now.
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