What is WRONG with me? keep OCDing about Fibro!

[cnote]

I'm 32 male. I have a LONG history of an anxiety disorder. I was put on ativan and other trial antidepressants for about 5 years. I quit all pharmaceuticals over 3 years ago, and my anxiety has been better without drugs. My Dr. is actually quite proud of me, as I do not have to see him TOO often.

Here is where my NEW story begins. 1.5 years ago, August to be exact, I was having some anxiety again. So, instead of taking pills, I decided exercise is key for me. I started running A LOT. Every day I'd run about 3-4 miles. It was great for my stress levels.

Then one day I noticed I was having erection pain. I only had pain when I had an erection in my penis. It wasnt awful, but it was super annoying. At first I thought it was from straining during intercourse or something. This pain went on for about 3-4 weeks before I decided to go to my Dr. (I also was still running while having this issue)

My Dr. said it was probably just a strain, and it to give it a rest.

That very night after going to the Dr., I noticed I was voiding a lot in my pants after going pee. It was WAY MORE than just a few dribbles. This started to scare me a bit, b/c it was NOT normal.

Then that same night, I started feeling like my bladder was COMPLETELY full. I felt like I had to pee OVER and OVER again, only nothing to come out.

I went back to my Dr. the next day with anxiety about this. My bladder was physically hurting so bad, I was dribbling a lot in my pants... I had no idea what was wrong.

My Dr. said it could be a UTI. He tested me, and it was negative. He then said it could be a bladder infection and gave me a 2 week antibiotic. This did not help.

I was very upset, b/c I could not even get comfortable in bed at night and sleep. I BROKE DOWN and had to take a xanax just to get some sleep. This upset me b/c I had been off of prescription drugs for so many years. But I was okay with it. I needed sleep!!!

Finally after 2 weeks of NON STOP bladder pain. I was so scared. My Dr. then asked me if I was having any lower back pain. I SAID "YES!!! NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT!! It feels like my lower back muscles are super tight!"

He said "I think you have a pinched nerve from tight muscles, and that nerve is sending pain to your penis and your bladder. This should resolve with some stretching and deep tissue massage."

Luckily my brother is a deep tissue therapist. He stretched me and massaged me, and finally the bladder pain went away! AMEN!!

But since then I've suffered from the chronic low back pain. My chiropractor can usually get it resolved for a bit, or at least comfortable, but it always seems to come back.

But what's been happening lately scares me again. Now on top of lower back pain, sometimes my butt cheeks feel tired and sore. I also have been dealing with shoulder blade pain and trigger points. And now my actual right shoulder is hurting.

My chiropractor today said that my right shoulder has knots in it, and it's not a rotator cuff injury.

I have been having SEVERE anxiety about this ongoing issue. While I may get some relief for a few weeks to a couple of months at a time, it ALWAYS COMES BACK. Whether in my SHOULDER BLADES, MY NECK... sometimes my HEAD even... last summer my neck hurt and I had head spasms that would give me a chronic tension headache for WEEKS. Even cause dizziness and vertigo one night.

Today and yesterday I feel RANDOM shooting pains in my knees... but they don't last long at all. Even shooting pains in my temple area.

I'm just tired of this.

I'm OBSESSING over Fibromyalgia. I'm SCARED TO DEATH that I may have it.

My Dr. does NOT think I have it, and he also thinks I do not need to see a rheumatologist. He thinks I'm just having muscle spasms, and it's probably linked to my anxiety disorder.

My chiropractor did the trigger point test on me once (he says hes qualified to do the test b/c he knows the tender pointds). He did it on me, and I felt NO PAIN in 11 of the 18 tender points. He just stopped and said "You don't have it my friend, trust me. Otherwise, you wouldnt let your brother give you deep tissue massage."

My aunt has fibro, and just chooses to live her life with it with no meds. She doesn't have anxiety either. She also tells me "YOU DO NOT HAVE FIBRO."


Do you think all of this could be anxiety manifesting itself in chronic muscle tension??? I also have issues with fatigue, but that can also be from anxiety. I've struggled with fatigue for YEARS with my anxiety disorder, WAY before this muscle bullcrap. I also have benign muscle fasciculation syndrome, which is from my anxiety disorder as well. Which is just random muscle twitching all over the body. Have had that for years. I have not been sleeping good AT ALL the past week b/c of this FEAR of having fibro. And now I'm getting sporadic dull pelvic/groin pain again. UGH!! My brother thinks it's all just tension and trigger points causing all of this.

With my anxiety disorder, I feel like I NEED AN ANSWER to EVERYTHING. And with anxiety, sometimes there just is no answer but ANXIETY. lol.

Thank you SO MUCH for reading this!!!

Also, I should add, I had an xray done of the lower spine last year. My Dr. found an extra vertebrae. But he and my chiro do not think that is the problem at all. It is more common than you think, however I can say I have more backbone than YOU. ;) haha.

[cnote]

Thanks for writing.

I saw my GP today, and I think it's time for me to find a new doctor.

He told me that there is "nothing wrong with me", and I believe him that there is nothing seriously wrong with me. And my anxiety is currently out of control with the obsessive thinking. It's killing my appetite etc. (I've lost about 5lbs in 2 weeks)

He told me I can do a couple of things.

He can do some blood work to see if there is any inflammation (which he doubts there will be b/c last Summer he did blood work when I was having bad back pain and it came out normal.)

or... my 2nd option is to take an antidepressant every day and see how I do.

That's it!!

I told him, I'm no longer going to put chemicals in my body, but did want to get to the bottom of the unexplained muscle pain.

He just left it at that.

I think I'm going to let him do the blood panel, but make him do MORE than just your standard blood panel.

I want him to do a RA blood panel (inflammation etc.), a complete vitamin blood panel, thyroid, a fatigue blood panel and possibly a lupus panel.

If those ALL come out negative, and normal... then I will seek another doctor, OR go straight to a rheumatoid doctor who can weed out the rest.

And if it comes out that I'm COMPLETELY normal... then I'll just know it's anxiety, and nothing serious, and I'll learn to cope.

My aunt tried to calm my anxiety today, bless her heart. She has fibro.

She told me that she still thinks that I do not have it. However, she said "even if you do, it can't kill you... it can just be a nuisance, and over time you'll learn to ignore it, and cope better."

Gotta look at the positive right? :)

And who knows... maybe this is all anxiety and or depression.

I do know, that this too shall pass and other than these mystery symptoms, I'm completely healthy. :)

[kuttandra]

i think u might go on to regression therapy or hipnosis ,and clear the blockage in the mind. this will really help. try once .

[JGF25]

I believe it is possible to become so riddled with anxiety that we start to have "symptoms."  But I don't see any problem with you seeing a rheumatologist just to rule out fibromyalgia.  The reality is that the general practitioners are just that, GPs.  They are not experts.  When I complained to my doctor about all the joint pains I was having he said "Welcome to old age."  Well that is unacceptable to me so I'm going down the rheumatology road myself.   Good luck and congrats on being able to get by without medication.  I did it for quite some time myself but since I am never OCD free, just managing, I decided I liked to be on medication better than off it.