am i a lesbian, bi, or just have hocd

[apple426]

okay, so i have been driving myself crazy for the past few months, i don't know if i am a lesbian, or have hocd symptoms, i have had ocd symptoms since childhood. but this is affecting my every day life, i can't think straight, i can't be around the people of my own gender bec i get too anxious. and the worst part is that that's all i think about, it has consumed my life, i have researched alot about hocd, and a part of me believes that i do have that, but then no where in the discussions about this disorder have i heard about feeling sexual, it all talks about being in your head, but when i am around girls, at first i have the thought which brings immense anxiety and then i actually feel very turned on, so if my mind is playing tricks on me, how can my body play a trick on me, i have talked to my family about this and they say that since that's all i think about, my body and my hormones are bound to react, a part of me agrees with them, and then there is part that says that what if i am a lesbian or bi, since i get turned on. i am 25, but never been with anyone partly due to my cultural background and partly bec i always wanted to be independant.   Growing up i never thought i was lesbian/or bi, but i always had the fear.  All my crushes have been guys, but now i am just really confused and quite frankly exhausted of thinking, so my question is

Is it normal to get turned on when you are having the HOCD thoughts.  

[justaworriedguy379]

hi apple426
i am a straight man who used to be plagued by hocd, hopefully this will shed light on your problem. however i do have to confess that i am self diagnosed-self cured (well mostly anyway) and probably not the best method of solving your problem. thereputic care is the best method but again it can be scary to go through with it. especially with our condition, an answer we do not want may be cause enough not to seek help.
firstly to answer your question, it is hard to seperate fear from getting "turned on" both are powerful emotions. if you are anything like me you may be confusing a sensation in your genitals as being turned on. however shock can cause that sensation and most people are not turned on by shocking images.
secondly if this is causing you anxiety then you cant actually be lesbian, would you use the word anxious to describe love? plato once said "at the touch of love everyone becomes a poet" can you imagine if he had said "at the touch of love everyone becomes anxious"??!!?? now tell me that didnt make you laugh ;)
a big help to my getting better i attribute to taking magnesium tablets, i believe there are 2 kinds so i will repost when i find it, ocd symptoms are apparently caused by an inablilty to fully break down a certain enzyme so that is a start, i am not biologist but that was the first step in my getting better.
bet of luck and may love and life come to you

[scaredtodeath17]

i have been almos exactly where you are, but the thing you have to distinguish is whether your realy being turned on or are just plain anxious. one key phrase that my psychiatrict gave to to repeat over and over again is that ocd can feel real. it is by nature a doubting desease and it would be normal to have checking compulsions like turning on the tv and imagining if you would be attracted to any particular female. as in my case if you do it for long enough the images start to pop up in the mind by themselves causing even greater  an fear that maybe your fear isnt irrational. personally i used to cry to my mother and ask y i didnt play with dolls when i was younger, how does she know with such certainty that this isnt real. but you have to tell yourself as i have many times, if i wasnt five monthes or however many monthes ago, im not now. i suggest you see a psychiatrist and prevent these obbsessive thoughts from altering your life. i personally am not fully recovered but one main thing i have come to recognize which i hadnt necessarily before is that I DO HAVE OCD. its something that once you are diagnosed with you have to remind yourself of. tell yourself that there is a big black cloud constantly hovering over your head, clouding your mind, and the less power you give it, the smaller it becomes. best of luck

[ILADVOCATE]

Any thoughts that are unwarranted or intrusive can be a part of ocd. On the other hand, a person having a conflict with their sexual identity often will not accept these thoughts as coming from them at first. According to the American Psychiatric Association, homosexuality and bisexuality are not psychiatric disabilities. If they are not within your cultural background you don't have to act on them. However, if the thoughts are part of who you are its best to accept them. As to whether they are a part of your background or not speak to a talk therapist. Ocd has a whole series of problems. Look it up online on any reputable site. You would have a whole variety of obsessions. In that case then speaking to a psychiatrist would be warranted. But this one issue does not mean you have ocd. Speak to a talk therapist and see what how these issues can be resolved.