Please help me

[Richard1985]

I had protected sex with a CSW in London who was from East Africa last Saturday. The man told me the parlour was also a clinic and assured me she was clean as did she. The protected sex lasted 2 minutes and then there was protected oral after I removed the first condom as it had been inside her. (Why did she make me do that?)

6 days since the incident I now have a cold and joint aches, I haven't had a cold in a while so I guess it was due but of course I am going crazy right now. I am causing myself great mental stress thinking why did I do this with this person from such a high infection area.

Can someone please help me and assure me I was no risk? Are there any other STD's I could have got that will take a while to show up?

Thank you.

[Richard1985]

Thanks again. You're right she probably was avoiding the disease herself - but unfortunately she also offered to give me oral UNprotected (I have never been propostioned that before). Of course I said no way and she put a condom on but I think was after that that I began to really worry. Eitherway I hear that is also low risk for infection? Not that I would have done it - imagine how many others she would have done it unprotected with. Anyway zero risk is what I must tell myself.

[JGF25]

No risk.  As a matter of fact, I give the CSW a lot of credit.  She is doing all of the things to protect herself and she is not doing it just with you, she is doing it with everybody.  When it really comes down to it, she probably has no other means to support herself and she doesn't want HIV either!  Hang in there...you are going to be fine.  

[Richard1985]

The emergency line said no risk and advised me against taking PEP. I was in a huge state of panic that time. I did a play by play of what happened and it is below::

Went in, lay down, got a massage, then I turned over and she placed the condom on my semi erect penis (before wiping my penis with a wet wipe). Protected oral for around 3 minutes then I got up and inserted it into her (did not grind against her for fear of HPV/Warts). This lasted about two minutes protected vaginal sex. Then I asked for oral again to which she said no unless I used another condom. She then removed the condom herself and put a new one on and gave me protected oral. By this time I was already realising the mistake I made and guilt had set in, I then removed the condom myself and masturbated to completion on my own into a tissue. My hand ave touched the condom and touched my penis which is where the scare comes from.

No risk? I know you are not of a medical background but I just would love to know and for otehrs to tell me too this was no risk.

[JGF25]

In my non-medical opinion, I believe it is no risk.  What did the emergency line say?  I'm pretty sure they said no risk as well.  

Testing should be done at a minimum of 4 weeks.  If you are still feel sick, as we all do during the course of the year, then visit your regular doctor so they can see if you have the flu.  There isn't much you can do to treat it since the flu is a viral infection.  

Anyway, I think you will get better and better as the anxiety lessens and I'm glad you have made a plan not to visit the CSWs anymore.   All the best.  

[Richard1985]

You're so right. I have visited 11 over 5 years with the same friend and I do this to myself every time with the anxiety. It disgusts me. Or I disgust myself. There must be a reason I have been doing this to myself. And this time the panic and fear has been at an all time high.

I will never visit them again and I have made sure of this by telling my friend that this is not going to happen again. The friend was the problem - I mean he doesn't force me to go, no one does, he is just one person I could trust not to tell anyone and uses them while being in a relationship (which is just plain wrong). But I have told him enough is enough and at the age of 26 if I can cut my losses and move on to a purer life I would be so happy.

I believe that I won't do this again, I genuinely believe it.I have stopped the causal factor for it (going out with that one freind) and I know that this has caused me stress and worry 11 times now.

Thanks for your words. I'm too scared to test (isn't it too early anyway?) and the only thing I would have done would have been PEP. But when I spoke the emergency line they said my experience did not qualify for PEP. I can only sit and wait for time to pass before the guilt goes and hopefully no symptoms show.

Just to confirm - from what I've described does this sound low risk or no risk? My symptoms scare me, my body has been aching with flu. I just want to get over this one slip up to move on.

[JGF25]

I don't think you have anything to worry about.  You had protected sex and even the oral sex was with a condom on.  You have been assured by the place she works that she didn't have any STDs and she herself assured you of the same.  But you don't really need the assurances.  The main fact is you had PROTECTED sex.  

Having said this, stress and anxiety are funny things.  What we are capable of doing to ourselves with our own minds is incredible.  You were more than likely already stressed about this before the cold symptoms came on.  Stress and anxiety can weaken the immune system.  Stress and anxiety can cause us to become hypervigilent about our bodies and notice every little thing and attribute it to what we are afraid of at the moment.  

You need to keep telling yourself that your risk of getting an STD from this situation, in this instance, is pretty much zero.  But here's the thing. If you find that for some reason you cannot get past this, then go ahead and test.  If you think it will give you some peace of mind, then do it.  I don't think it is a necessity at all but we have to do what is going to relieve our anxiety and stress.  

And of course this goes without saying, a visit to a CSW is something that should be avoided.  I cannot tell you how many guys on here visit a CSW, start to have major anxiety over it, get better and then go right back and do it again just to find themselves back at square one.  You are better off taking care of your own needs than going through all of this, it is just not worth it.  

My Best.