Can't let issues go...

[Gee3]

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum to post this.  If it's not please feel free to suggest the correct forum to post this.  Here goes...  

I have a friend that I think may need help.  (yeah, i know... "a friend"...)  He obsesses about things that happened in the past that don't even pertain to him.  And no matter how much you try to reason with him that it's in the past or what they say is all hearsay he still believes that it's his way or the highway.  For instance, I'll use our common activity of cycling.  He hates Lance Armstrong with a passion and feels that no matter what anyone says or how much the proof of his doping is circumstantial he refuses to believe he's clean.  That's just the background.  If I or anyone else brings up Lance in any light he immediately attacks us with he doped this and he doped that.  That's all fine and good and his opinion.  But the problem is he tries to force his opinion on you.  And if you disagree he'll site every reference in the world dating to 1999, etc. that "prove" he's right.  

Frankly even if he is right he doesn't need to shout us down about it.  My argument to him is that if Lance is doping then catch him now that he's back in the sport.  Don't give me circumstantial evidence he doped back in 1999.  And don't tell me that if we talk about Lance we have to include doping or our conversation is lacking.

Me and others are just tired of all this ranting when we just try to have a civil conversation.  Instead he throws in his $0.02 when no one wants it.

What can we do to make him understand that he needs to just let people have their own opinions and that he doesn't need to interject every time?  Is this behavior categorized as some sort of disorder to help us understand why he does this?  If we understand it maybe we can help him on our end.  But for now he just can't let issues go and move on!

Thanks!!!

[Gee3]

Thank you for the reply.  That was very insightful and helpful.  And yes, he is an only child.  And I've tried to change subjects but he insists on staying on that subject.  Maybe I'll look more into that "only child" thing.  It sounds like you are on to something.  Thanks again for your reply!

[mandyisme]

I have severe OCD and do not have anything similar to what you are talking about.  One of my parents does slightly remind me of a person similar to what you are talking about.  Is OCD genetic?  I think I read that it was so maybe this is some sort of form of OCD.  Clinging to past events and dragging them around and putting them on display for the world to see.  Honestly, my opinion (and I am certainly no doctor) is that this seems to be more of a personality issue than anything else.  Many people with OCD are very mild, kind, understanding, value others' opinions, etc.  In fact, most people who are in contact with many OCD sufferers never even realize there is a problem.  I have had only one close friend ever realize I had OCD and she only recognized it because her sister had been diagnosef with it.  By any chance .. is your friend an only child?  I know a couple people that have similar personalities to what you described and they are only children.  It is the only common denominator I can come up with as to why they think their opinion is more valuable than any one elses and why they must always be right.  I do not mean to offend any only children on here.. I know some only children who do not have this issue at all.   I am guessing that perhaps this friend must have more qualities and traits that you find attractive than the number of unattractive ones you describe above.  You can't change other people.  You can only change how you react.  My guess would be that if you and your friends ignored him when he began a rant and didn't make replies to encourage his behavior he would realize you didn't like it.  No one ever argued with theirself.  Try changing the subject.