Hello, I've suffered with OCD since a very young age of 8years old. I used to do things twice eg, touch things twice, or 4 times to make it even. However it got bad when I thought a voice was telling me to do bad things or things to better a situation that I didn't want too. Once was when I went round my friends about 9 years old and we watched a inappropriate film (sexual) and people dry humped. It gave me bad thoughts. And I thought about dry humping my younger brother on the bed he was 1years old. I DIDNT DO THIS. But recently due to friends issues this came back up and I remembered thinking it. But now however I'm winding myself up saying "what if I did rape him and don't remember doing it?" I feel like a awful sick person as I love my brother. But would I remember doing something this awful? And is it even possible to remember a thought?? I feel sick in the head and suicidal over these thoughts. I'm treating myself like a rapist and I don't remember doing it. Please help. I have OCD and TLE.