HIV OCD need help

[panicaboutgerms]

I sure do need some help!  I am going absolutely nuts over my latest "episode", as I call them.  I definitely have OCD, but most prominently with a fear of contracting HIV and then some how passing it along to my loved ones.  I am having a tumor removed in two weeks that has been tested and found non cancerous.  The doctor even told me that I do not need to have it removed, but for fear of it resulting in cancer down the road, I decided to have the surgery anyway.

About a year ago on CNN, there was a story about VA hospitals infecting about 1800 patients with HIV through contaminated equipment.  So now, all I can think about is that the scalpel or some other instrument they will be using will have been contaminated and improperly cleaned and that i will contract HIV.  It is like, I feel like because I am afraid of others who may have the disease, that I am doomed their fate.

Another thing, I am not afraid of having HIV myself, I am afraid I will contaminate others.  That is my biggest fear!  I just do not know what to do.  It is like my mind is constantly at war!  I fear that if I don't get it removed, then it will definately become cancerous because I didn't remove it.  I also don't want to let my OCD get stronger by not going through with the procedeure.  I just don't know what to do.  I have one day to decide, so any help before then would be great!  Thanks!


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[frightenedandconfused]

Sorry, I didn't mean to sounds so blah in tat comment. I was explaining the OCD piece of it as I had the same fear myself up until December 2010, Even though I am educated and aware of how HIV could be transmitted (and yes, oral sex can also transmit) I was just trying to relate to panicaboutgerms regarding the panic and obsession part regardless of how many tests you have and how careful you are. I did not mean to offend.

[deuterium]

HIV can only be transmitted through intercourse or blood transfers. The virus is high unstable and dies in contact with the atmosphere. It can't even be transfered via saliva, kissing. Though mabey oral sex i'm not certain about that. Glad to see you don't care about contracting HIV, brilliant..

[frightenedandconfused]

Hi,

I have had that too. It sux, I used to see tv commercials or shows about HIV and i would think it was some twisted joke that would only feed into fears. Go to a Dr. and see if they can perscribe something and then maybe get hooked up w/a therapist b/c OCD is obsessional, you don't want it to latch onto a new "what if".

[nicelips4u2c]

i get the same fears... hiv ocd is the worst..i suffer too.....go on paxil...works great..u dont have hiv netiher do i!!! use condoms