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HOCD -- I just want this to stop!
Hey everyone, me again! So i've recently started taking some prescription medication to help with anxiety, it's been about 3 weeks. Things seemed alright, normal, then about 5 days ago I started getting the HOCD thoughts again and they've been off - and - on for the past week!! Same as before, except this time, although they're constantly there, I seem more annoyed with them as opposed to panicked! Now, this started comcerning me, why am i not panicked anymore? Has this medication backfired? Instead of releiving me of my HOCD thoughts it's making realize that I am gay/bi!? -- this isn't good, I don't want this!! And I explained my HOCD to my cousin the other day, but I didnt cry, usually when I would tell someone about I would cry-- this also comcerned me.. So now, i'm just worried and obsessing about all this.. Over why am I just annoyed about it rather than panicked!? Will these thoughts ever go away??
P.S every once in a while i'll forget about it, then i'm left in a moment of silence and there the thoughts are again! It's like they just wait until my brain is clear!
No i havent gotten a dosage increase, because the last time i saw him, i thought i was doing much better... But alarently not! Which brings me back here once again this month! The thoughts are back.... And i dont know what to anymore! I dont know what to tell myself to make them stop! Like whenever i tell myself something positive and reassuring to counteract the stupid negative thoughts, it works for about 5 minutes! Like i seriously love him with everything i have! If this ended because of my on-going anxiety, i would swriously be devastated!
Hey guys, me again... so idk what to do anymore :( i feel like this situation occurs about once a month... Like these past few days ive just been off and i dont know why! But i feel like whenever i'm bummed out or whatever i always associate with with my boyfriendlike somethings wrong with us or something! Then i start to think and think and think and i just get my mind going to the point where i start doubting everything and i hate it!!! Like we were together last night and i was having a good time and then all of sudden something happened and its like my thoughts said "stop smiling, youre gonna have to break up with him" kinda thing LIKE WTF!!! :( and i feel like this is because of my anxiety but then when i tell myself that i just feel like im blaming it on my anxiety and it really has nothing to do with it!! I wish this wouldnt happen, its not fair to me, or my boyfriend!
Hello,
I have been going through the exact same things as you! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months and I know he is the man I want to marry. But I have random HOCD thoughts and random thoughts like "do I love him?" "Do I love him as much as he loves me," "I'm not good enough for him because I'm unsure," etc. But a few days later, I'll be so happy and excited to be with him and be planning our future. I have talked to my therapist about this and she says it is my OCD attacking something that I love most. She has said that because I love him and cherish our relationship so much, my OCD attacks it. She says that OCD can actually help someone to realize how much they truly value/love something, because the more your OCD attacks it, the more likely you value it. I hope this helps you!
I have been going through the exact same things as you! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months and I know he is the man I want to marry. But I have random HOCD thoughts and random thoughts like "do I love him?" "Do I love him as much as he loves me," "I'm not good enough for him because I'm unsure," etc. But a few days later, I'll be so happy and excited to be with him and be planning our future. I have talked to my therapist about this and she says it is my OCD attacking something that I love most. She has said that because I love him and cherish our relationship so much, my OCD attacks it. She says that OCD can actually help someone to realize how much they truly value/love something, because the more your OCD attacks it, the more likely you value it. I hope this helps you!
It is exactly the same thing.....It is just another irrational thought. You see you are feeling better about HOCD so now your brain is keying in on something else and you are doing the whole "what-if" thing. That is what we do with OCD...we jump from one thing to the next and when we get closure it goes away...sometimes it comes back. That is why therapy is so important because you need to get off this superhighway of irrational thoughts because after a while it just becomes all too exhausting and depression can set in. Medication is good but CBT with medication is even better. So revisit with your doctor about the medication and whether the dosage is right and hopefully you can get with a psychologist to teach you CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).
Really!? That's such great news!! :) thank you so much for commenting! :) -- while i have your attention, i think I have dveloped another tow of OCD.. You see, I have a boyfriend, who i've known my whole life, and i love him very much! But sometimes I go through these moments of doubt more-or-less. Like i start wondering if i really do love him, and then I sit there and start testing it like if he kisses me i think "did i feel the proper feeling?" Type thing. Then that escalades and I start thinking like well he can do so much better than me, he deserves someone who's sure all the time! Then a couple of days later i shake it off and kinda say "of course you love him" and i would be devastated if we broke up, i dont wanna break up with him!! Any thoughts!?
When people without OCD think a thought like this, they dismiss it as stupid and more than likely annoying. So I think you are on the road to recovery. The fact that you are not panicing is good. You can talk about it and there is no fear. Give the meds a while longer. It may be that a dosage increase is needed down the road but give it 4 to 6 weeks and then talk to your doctor about what you are feeling.
Thank you so much for commenting! So you think it's still HOCD? My medication hasn't likd backfired or anything?
Hey there
Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time. Well done in addressing this OCD with your Dr and taking the meds, although it takes time for them to have effect.
I think its a positive thing you are just annoyed with the thoughts rather than panicked. You know these are intrusive thoughts and not worth giving attention to. So if they come up, don't give them panic, as that only gives them importance. The less power you give to the thoughts, hte more likely it is they will eventually go away. And they will come in when your mind is blank, thats why distraction is so good for deterring OCD :)
Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time. Well done in addressing this OCD with your Dr and taking the meds, although it takes time for them to have effect.
I think its a positive thing you are just annoyed with the thoughts rather than panicked. You know these are intrusive thoughts and not worth giving attention to. So if they come up, don't give them panic, as that only gives them importance. The less power you give to the thoughts, hte more likely it is they will eventually go away. And they will come in when your mind is blank, thats why distraction is so good for deterring OCD :)
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