Hocd

[Lexia1515]

Hi. I am a 15 year old heterosexual female. I have been in agony for the past 2 months with non stop thoughts everyday that I might be homosexual. Seeing a psychiatrist is not in the picture and won't be because my mom will not bring me. I currently have a boyfriend that I have been with for more than a year now. I want these thoughts to go away and I want to feel normal again. I am almost more than sure that this is hocd but I have not been diagnosed by a professional. I never have liked girls in my entire life and I remember having crushes on guys even as a little child. I even kissed one when I was about 5. I do not want to lose my boyfriend because I love him very much but the thoughts are even making me think that I'm going to end up not wanting to be with him. And I don't want that. Help!

[JGF25]

Once you get your thoughts under control, you won't worry about the boyfriend.  Right now I think you need to explain to him that you have anxiety and that you are going to get a book to get some help and ask for his understanding.  I have not look at the book Tushar is recommending but a lot of people like it so that may be the best place to start.  

[Lexia1515]

Thank you for your advice! I am going to try to not be so afraid of this even though it is truly my worst fear. But what should I do about the situation with my boyfriend? This condition is making me feel think I don't love him as much and I know I do. I think something that would help is knowing for sure that this is hocd which I think it is

[123tushar07]

You can take help from the book "Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts: How to Gain Control of Your OCD "by christine purdon, this book is for pure o sufferes

[JGF25]

Hi there.  Seeing a psychiatrist is your best bet.  This is a disorder of the mind.  We do not wake up one day and become gay.  It is built in our genetics in my opinion.  So if you are not born gay, then you are not gay.  What you need to do is stop being afraid of the thought.  Once you can accomplish that, the thought will no longer bother you.  So for instance if you said right now, "I'm gay" do you think you would want to run out, get a girlfriend, and be intimate with her?  I'm thinking not and therefore you cannot be gay.  You need to learn how to counter these negative thoughts with positive statements of fact.  This is what cognitive behavioral therapy is.  If you cannot see a psychologist to learn it, then you will need to do it on your own.  Look up the OCD Workbook:  Your Guide to Breaking Free of OCD.  This isn't something that you can wave a magic wand at and make it go away.  It is a process that requires dedication and practice.  Once you master it, you will be good for all thoughts that show up now and in the future.