Harm OCD, help?

[Ducky25]

Recently I've been diagnosed with PTSD and OCD.
The violent thoughts lately have been out of control, and they are starting to really get to me.
My therapist says that I'm not a violent person, and I would never act on these thoughts..and I agree
But there is this thought that comes up every now and then, and it's very disturbing to me.
I think "what if this is what I really want?"
"What if I'm lying to all my therapists and I'm actually a serial killer"
I can't express enough how much that thought disturbs me.
I don't want to be like this anymore,I'm tired of fighting this, I feel like I'm constantly having to prove to myself that I'm a good person. Never had a violent outburst, never put my hands on anyone( expect fighting with my sister when we were little kids)
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I'll think to myself "if I'm really crazy, I'll hit that person right now and not feel bad about it"
And of course I never do.
I'm scared, and need a better way for coping with these horrific thoughts, please help.

[hmf099]

I also suffer from this and it gives me severe panic attacks as I obsess over the scary thoughts. I find it happens most when I'm over tired, have had caffeine, and/or am emotional or depressed about other things going on in my life. Talk to your therapist about different forms of therapy that will help. Best wishes.

[JGF25]

Hi there.  I had harm OCD as well.  Ask your therapist about "exposure" therapy.  I was told to go into a dark room and picture myself doing the things I was most afraid of and after a while of doing that, I realized I'm not that person, would never be that person and the whole process became boring and I was able to move on.