OCD? BPD? Bipolar? Please help I think I am going insane.

[Veatix]

Ok where to start well it's been just over a week since I thought I had a mental disorder. It started on a Friday night and I was feeling more bored than usual. Then the next day I suddenly had this obssessive thought that I had depression. After that day that was all I had thought about. I started to do some online research and tried to diagnose myself, and the further I dug the more I feared I had depression and the symptoms of depression seemed to have been occurring. I started to lose interest in everything. After about 2 - 3 days after I thought I had depression I tried to reassure myself that I didn't have depression and those times I felt happy. But then the thoughts came back and I felt worried and depressed again. Then I did some more research and found out about Bipolar disorder. I started to freak out because I think I have mood swings because of my reassuring. Then as the days passed I felt more and more symptoms like random pains. Then I found out about BPD disorder and started worrying if I had that too. Please help I have no intentions to suicide or self harm but this is all I think about all day. I just lost interest in everything and sometimes have trouble sleeping at night. I want to go pee very often. I keep on thinking about the good parts of life to make me happier like watching TV at night but then if I think more about it then I think whats the point. Another thing is that I think I've had OCD all my life. I had this period of time when I was 10 or something and I was so obsessed about death and germs. Right now I am 13 please help I don't know what to do I am sometimes afraid to be happy because then I think I have mania. I also have some delusions. Also when I reassure myself and think happy thoughs I do feel more happier than usual. I have told my bro about this saying that I feel depressed and also more happy than ever. I don't cry but times when I am reassured I have a sense of epicness for some reason. I have many more symptoms like trouble remembering things and speech impairment. Please help I'm so worried I feel so depressed and worried about my life later on.

[nursegirl6572]

Of course you cannot self diagnose yourself with ANY mental disorder.  You can take all of the online questionaires you can find....but you still need a professional to thoroughly assess you to determine what, if anything, you may be suffering with.  I think you would be wise to stop chasing your tail, and just make an appointment, preferrably with a psychiatrist.  They are the best people to assess and diagnose a mental disorder.

The good news is...even if you ARE diagnosed with something, there are all kinds of treatments out there...it's not like life as you know it would be over.  Maybe deep down you're fearful of a stigma that may come with having a mental illness?  That's a reasonable fear, but I can tell you, that a very large portion of the population is diagnosed with SOMETHING...be it depression, an anxiety disorder, OCD, bipolar disorder...or even more than one.  You wouldn't be alone, that's for sure.  

I have been diagnosed with panic disorder and depression, and have never felt stigmatized.  In fact, I was pleasantly surprised how accepting so many people are.  You'd be surprised to find out just how many people you know suffer from something, yet you never knew it.  It isn't a reflection on you, or a weakness, or a charcter flaw.  To me, it's no different than people having diabetes, or high blood pressure.  It's a condition that needs managed.


MY advice to you is to seek the help of a professional who can sort this out for you, the RIGHT way.  Best of luck.

[Veatix]

Sorry for the triple post but I'm 99% my mom has depression and my dad has been acting more happy than usual.

[Veatix]

I also worry that I have not said everything in there... And also my whole life I've been very shy and not social.