23 Male HOCD

[Whathappened828]

I was born attracted to females. My sex drive felt so natural but when I turned 16 I started to get these images that many can relate to. I dont want to see a shrink because I would feel like a complete coward. Any tips on getting passed this? I would be so happy if I got my natural attractions back. Please God send me a sign. I sympathize with anybody who is dealing with this.

[Whathappened828]

When I beat this I will be so content with life I swear and thank you for your help youve been the most helpful to me so far.

[Whathappened828]

Another thing I only feel a groinal movement when these images pop into my head unwantedly but. When I start acknowledging them and in my head I kind of start giving these thoughts what they want I feel no groinal movement at all. I noticed it is when I do that I feel a peace of mind or at least it seems. Also when I try to negate the thoughts with thoughts of my actual sexuality I feel stress.

[Whathappened828]

First things first Ill gonna get that book and see how it helps thanks for your help Its well appreciated. I cant see myself going through life without having a family and kids this is absurd lol

[JGF25]

The orientation can't change out of nowhere...that is the point.  We are born gay or we are not in my opinion.  So if you were not born gay, which you were not, then you cannot change therefore you have to chalk it up to rampant OCD that continues to go untreated.  

Accepting the thought does not mean you are saying you are gay all it means is that you find it stupid and you no longer are going to waste your time on it.  

[Whathappened828]

Why am I obsessing over this when I swear to you I was attracted to women until I was 16 then the images occured? When I give into these thoughts and start to accept them I feel relief but then I come to my senses and say this isnt me. How can ones orientation change out of nowhere? This is simply the reason why I can not come to terms with this ********

[JGF25]

Yes exactly!!!!  You are not giving in per se but you are saying "this stuff is crap and I'm not going to worry about it."  When you do that the fear goes away.  

Here is an example for me.  I panic in the car sometimes...usually on long trips.  When I find myself starting to think about it I immediately start my breathing and then I say to myself "bring it on, I can handle it." and you know what...I don't have a panic attack.  It is truly amazing.  

[Whathappened828]

Hey is giving into the thoughts supposed to relieve anxiety?

[JGF25]

See my post about the anatomy of horrific thoughts from the Workbook:  It explains the cycle of irrational thinking.  

[Whathappened828]

Im gonna look into that thanks

[JGF25]

If you are already ruling out a therapist then your options are limited.  What are you afraid of?  I promise you that there is nothing you can say to a therapist that they haven't already heard before.  

That being said, you can pick up the book The OCD Workbook:  Your Guide to Breaking Free of OCD.  It has a section on HOCD and worksheets that help you with cognitive behavioral therapy techniques.  To get over OCD irrational thinking, it requires work on your part.