Thank you for your kind words I'm going to check these out. Ill let you know where the road takes me
I have seen a gen. Pract. I'm very embarrassed about talking to someone about this. Is there anything you can suggest I can try prior to even thinking about talking to someone?
First of all, a lot of people have genital herpes. More than you know. I even have an extended family member with it. And here is another thing for you to think about. I use the public restroom at work all the time. There has got to be somebody or more than one person with genital herpes that uses that bathroom but I wouldn't know who it was and I'm touching doors, etc. and NOT coming down with herpes. I use public restrooms everywhere and have NOT come down with herpes. Your thinking is highly irrational. Should you practice normal hygiene, absolutely, but you are going WAY WAY overboard here.
You wrote the following:
"I feel I'm spiraling out of control I'm starting to get very depressed now that I'm drinking 5-6 days a week to help cope. I'm not happy anymore or satisfied with anything anymore because all I can think about it spreading herpes to everything and people and my family getting contaminated."
You my friend are in what I term "crisis" mode. When it gets this bad, you need to seek immediate help. YOU NEED TO FIND A PSYCHOLOGIST and you need to do it pronto. You are self-medicating with alcohol and that is very bad. You said you saw a doctor and I'm just guessing that it was a general practitioner since you didn't state who it was.
So please get back to me and let me know that you have made a psychology appointment because I don't see you getting out of this state without the help of one.
Both dr, Paxil and Zoloft
What doctor did you see? A GP or a psychologist. And what meds did you take and how long did you take them?
Here is an article you might find useful
http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=82%3Aten-things-you-need-to-know-to-overcome-ocd&catid=0%3A&Itemid=64
Also some books you may want to look into
Brain Lock
Self-Coaching by Joseph Luciani
The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to breaking free of OCD
As for myself, I have to say that books are great but nothing beats the face-to-face with a psychologist who teaches cognitive behavioral therapy. It is an invaluable tool to have when you have OCD.
Do you really want to spend another day feeling like this when you could be on your way to getting better just because you are embarrassed to talk to someone about this? I had to tell a pdoc that I thought I would just go blind while I was driving....talk about embarassing. But you know what...they can't fix what they don't know is broken and they are there to "fix" us. You have forgotten what it feels like to be worry free. You need to get back there again.