I need advice I guess?

[spoopernatural]

So recently I've gotten a therapist and whatnot and I explained to her all of my obsessive thoughts. Or at least a couple of them. I keep regretting doing so though...is that normal? Posting this is probably pointless and a waste of time but yeah. My thoughts are driving me nearly insane. I keep thinking that this isn't OCD or Pure O and I'm just making it up. But then I begin to wonder "if it's not that, then are these thoughts actually you?" But that's stupid. If my thoughts are this bad and causing me so much distress than it's probably not normal. Right? Surely it must be something. Sorry for wasting your time with my pointless rambling. I guess what I'm asking here is what should I do to calm down? I've already cried like a million times and I slipped up and started cutting myself again...

I just feel really hopeless and upset right now. Enough to feel like death is a better option. I sort've just wish I'd never said anything at all and I was still quietly suffering on my own. It was a lot easier than this or at least it felt like it.

[JGF25]

That's okay because a lot of people just sit on the sidelines and wallow in their misery rather than act.  The important thing is you are acting and because you have started down the treatment road, you will get better.  Talk to your therapist about their plan for getting you over these thoughts.  Also, medication is an option but that would be for you and your therapist to discuss.  

[JGF25]

Oh no...you absolutely did the right thing.  We can only suffer in silence for so long.  Along the way we do develop some coping skills, although cutting should never be one of them, but at a point it just becomes all too much.  There is never a case when you have told a therapist "too much."  Remember they can't help fix what they don't know is broken.  There isn't a person on here that wasn't embarrassed to say something but what I realized is that they have heard it all before and then some.  You simply cannot surprise a therapist with what you say because they have already heard it from somebody else.  Is your therapist teaching you cognitive behavioral therapy?  Controlled breathing?  Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones?  Self-Coaching?  

[spoopernatural]

No, I've only just told my therapist about this like 2 days ago. Beforehand I hadn't told anyone so I was the only one who knew for the longest time. I suppose I've only just begun getting something done about all of this. So, no...not yet.