Aa
Hocd
Ummmm hi
I am a teenager girl who was partially bullied people were calling me lesbian and throwing rainbow stuff at me I didnt really know what bi is like then I figured it out I am going to be sixteen soon I believe that I am not gay and completely straight but now after I figured that i am struggling with hocd i keep chechking les gay porn I dont really get turned on sometimes I wish I was with one of hot guys I used to have a crush who got married soon never had a bf I always hangnwith girls Okay I admit I have a celebrity crush shes taylor swift I never thought of her other than an elddr sister but when the bullying started I was like did I really thought about herbthe same way they think of me the beggining pf this summer vac The anxiety attacks I keep checking and checking like straight or gay which only made the ocd grow wilder till now I keep seeing pictures of gays kissing it doesnt turn me on and I think its obvious much but I really cant help it I always wonder did I get turned on ? And go check my pants and then like it doesnt have to be wet to be turned on i used to self harm my friend likes me and shes a girl too which made the anxiety grow wilder i feel like dying now itsvlike fighting with your mind when the anxiety is gone and the ocd is calm i talk to people normally and the it jumps again PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME AND GET ME OUT OF THIS LIVING NIGHTMARE
I am a teenager girl who was partially bullied people were calling me lesbian and throwing rainbow stuff at me I didnt really know what bi is like then I figured it out I am going to be sixteen soon I believe that I am not gay and completely straight but now after I figured that i am struggling with hocd i keep chechking les gay porn I dont really get turned on sometimes I wish I was with one of hot guys I used to have a crush who got married soon never had a bf I always hangnwith girls Okay I admit I have a celebrity crush shes taylor swift I never thought of her other than an elddr sister but when the bullying started I was like did I really thought about herbthe same way they think of me the beggining pf this summer vac The anxiety attacks I keep checking and checking like straight or gay which only made the ocd grow wilder till now I keep seeing pictures of gays kissing it doesnt turn me on and I think its obvious much but I really cant help it I always wonder did I get turned on ? And go check my pants and then like it doesnt have to be wet to be turned on i used to self harm my friend likes me and shes a girl too which made the anxiety grow wilder i feel like dying now itsvlike fighting with your mind when the anxiety is gone and the ocd is calm i talk to people normally and the it jumps again PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME AND GET ME OUT OF THIS LIVING NIGHTMARE
My thoughts keep saying admit it your gay N im like nahhh I never EVER thought That way I had crushes on boys when somegirl pass by i look and im like okay shes pretty and then voices says wait this is lesbianism !! But when I compare my girl crushes or (thought of having crush ) to the boys' one it seems silly and NOT SAME NEVER EVER but its the thoughts that keep telling me once im once im not :( i tried talking to my parents they never get me :(
Have your parents gotten you psychological help? I'm assuming so if you tried suicide before. The bottom line is we can't change who we are. If you said out loud you are gay, would you then want to run out and find a girlfriend? If the answer is no then you cannot be gay. Ask your parents to make you an appt with a psychologist so that you can learn to deal with these types of thoughts.
I appreciate it so much I am in the last grade on elementary thats why I am sick scared if I am in the level of finding out that I am my parents say its ok and i am a teenager thats why I am suffering from it I am getting ln high school but they say if you are really gay you wont be afraid of being but afraid of coming out to your family is it right I NEVER EVER in my whole life IMAGINED kissing another girl it gets me uncomfortable I suffered from self harm and depression I am also bipolar like moody and I always get nervous around new ppl guys or girls maybe even getting butterflies is that ok ? I never liked any girl in a sexual way but thinking and figuring it out really doesnt help Please help i tried to suicide many times I always when I see hot dudes kissing each other I wish I could replace my self with the partner and have no feeling to a stripper maybe a little tiny tiny turn on be4 the ocd when I see sexual stuff I feel like learning from them to do it with my bf or anyother guy but now all I feel is no turn ons maybe a little one that guide ,y anxiety over the edge sorry for make it freakin long
Hi there. You do have a lot going on. If you read my post "The Anatomy of a Horrific Thought in Pure-O" which I will bump back up to the top of the forum, you will see that your "checking" is actually keeping you in the OCD cycle.
This is my opinion. We are born gay or we are not. We don't just wake up one day and become gay. Most people realize they are gay early on in life..think elementary school but don't "come out" until later in life. They may even date the opposite sex but ultimately we cannot change our genetics and so we are who we are. The celebrity crush you have on Taylor Swift is more than likely the idea of being Taylor Swift. I mean who wouldn't want to be pretty, talented, adored by many, and rich? That doesn't make you gay.
OCD peaks when we are stressed and I can't imagine anything more stressful than being bullied in school. Can you talk to your parents or perhaps a school counselor? How is your self-esteem? Do you have a lot of friends, are you outgoing? Sometimes low self-esteem can play a part in this also. If so, then you have to remember again that we are who we are. We have to work with what we have and confidence in yourself can go a long way. These people that are being mean to you...obviously you don't need them in your life. HIgh school is tough. When you graduate and get out in the real world you will see that this high school crap doesn't mean a darn thing and certainly not worth harming yourself over.
Let me know how it is going for you. :)
This is my opinion. We are born gay or we are not. We don't just wake up one day and become gay. Most people realize they are gay early on in life..think elementary school but don't "come out" until later in life. They may even date the opposite sex but ultimately we cannot change our genetics and so we are who we are. The celebrity crush you have on Taylor Swift is more than likely the idea of being Taylor Swift. I mean who wouldn't want to be pretty, talented, adored by many, and rich? That doesn't make you gay.
OCD peaks when we are stressed and I can't imagine anything more stressful than being bullied in school. Can you talk to your parents or perhaps a school counselor? How is your self-esteem? Do you have a lot of friends, are you outgoing? Sometimes low self-esteem can play a part in this also. If so, then you have to remember again that we are who we are. We have to work with what we have and confidence in yourself can go a long way. These people that are being mean to you...obviously you don't need them in your life. HIgh school is tough. When you graduate and get out in the real world you will see that this high school crap doesn't mean a darn thing and certainly not worth harming yourself over.
Let me know how it is going for you. :)
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