Intrusive thoughts about boyfriend and HIV. HELP.

[NervousChick90]

Here goes. In August, I was tested for all STDs and HIV. I met this new guy who is the love of my life now. We started having unprotected sex in November of 2009. All of a sudden, something CLICKED in my head and I asked him to be tested for all STDs and HIV. He agreed and did it within two days at our university's health center. He told me everything how they did it and how much it cost and that results will be available in a week for him to obtain. I thought nothing of it and was happy he did it for me.

A week later, he went to go get his results after taking me to class. He texted me and told me everything turned out fine and that he was so nervous his hands were shaking. (He's not high risk in the first place, he's only had unprotected sex with one girl before me.) Of course, I was elated and moved on with my life. Our university does NOT give papers, they just consult you in the nurses ward and let you be on your way.

All of a sudden, I started worrying like crazy that he lied about getting his test done and/or lied about the results. I have accused him multiple times and he tells me that he would never THINK of lying about something that serious and that he would march up there himself and get me papers if it would ease my mind. After this, of course, I felt guilty of accusing him. I have no reason to believe he would make up THAT elaborate of a lie, I even called the health center pretending to be a med student writing a paper and had me walk through the process to see if there were any "holes" in his story and everything checked out. I'm so embarrassed and he is so disappointed that I don't trust him. I'm fine for about a few hours, then these thoughts come back in my head. I imagine myself going for testing and testing positive for everything because he was dishonest. HOW CAN I RID MYSELF OF THIS? Please help, I can't stand it and it's ruining my relationship.

[readenough]

i can totally relate with ur situation...i got my gf tested i saw the reports everythin was fine....but the thots like she cud be in the window period....test cud be wrong....all sorts of things come up.....our brain is our biggest friend and enemy....u need to understand that hiv is very difficult a virus to be transmitted.....secondly there is hardly any patient population in most industrialized countries.....also understand that anyone can be nervous about an hiv test result....its just human nature.....let ur thots come....imagine the worse....dont react to the thots...u will give it more power.....its just a virus at the end of the day.....and its extremely rare....tell me how many ppl do u know around you who are living with the virus....i m sure none.....trust ur guy....love him....and just relax in life......these thoughts will only deplete ur energies....u are absolutely fine....do not test again....u will just make ur ocd worse...

[yaz300]

It's HIV phobia. Get some counseling.