So a few months ago I watched a youtube video about an MtF Transgender person, and my OCD spiked up. "What If I want to be like that?". Ever since that same thought hasn't left my mind. I continually recite questions similar to this in my brain and have random thoughts like when I see a girl that I used to think was hot something like "I want to be like her", and it doesn't feel like a regular passing thought, it feels like it had been shoved in my brain and it made me feel sick and full of anxiety. I also find myself endlessly picturing what life would be like as a woman to see if I would prefer it.
Worse only - when I was a child I can remember watching documentaries about Sex Changes and there's a character in an English TV programme who had a sex change and I couldn't stop thinking about it then. Also I had a phase in my early pre-teens where I discovered Crossdressing, and developed what I believe to be a Tranvestic Fetish. Nowadays I'm more into straight things, and I definitely do not feel like I was born to be a woman, I never have! And these constant recurring thoughts of "What if" and the intrusive ones that make me wonder if I really am a woman inside or something like that.
I definitely do not hate my body, or my genitals but these thoughts just keep coming back no matter what I do. I'm a 14 year old heterosexual male. Help?
What you have to realize is that if you really are transgender there is nothing wrong with that but I highly doubt that you are. Perhaps it is time to go back and see the psychologist so that you can get some help moving past this particular thought. Don't do any over analyzing of this thought either because that just keeps you in the thought pattern and you will just be going in circles.